I Won’t Be Your ESCAPE GOAT E-Book

David Carroll

• Herausgeber: Fresh Ink Group
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 41

Beschreibung

As an avid social-media user and fan, I have enjoyed collecting misspellings, misinterpretations, and other mishaps, then including them in my blogs and newspaper columns. The response from readers has been encouraging. One might even call it a “title wave.” 

Thankfully, many readers began sending in more examples of AutoCorrect and texting fails, poorly worded signs, and embarrassing invitations. Cindy Lowery in particular is always on the hunt for me.  This resulted in a series of columns, and the trend shows no signs of slowing down. You can blame it on voice-to-text, spellcheck, blunders or many other factors.                                                                                                                                          

No matter the reason, these social-media mistakes are a good source of laughter. (And my own smart-aleck comments are added in parentheses, like this.)

Leseprobe

I Won’t Be Your ESCAPE GOAT

David Carroll’s HO MADE Social Media Blunders

Copyright © 2023

by David Carroll

All rights reserved

Fresh Ink Group

An Imprint of:

The Fresh Ink Group, LLC

1021 Blount Avenue #931

Guntersville, AL 35976

Email: [email protected]

FreshInkGroup.com

Edition 1.0 2023

Cover Art by Michael Salter

Cover by Stephen Geez / FIG

Book design by Amit Dey / FIG

Associate publisher Beem Weeks / FIG

Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976 and except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, no portion of this book’s content may be stored in any medium, transmitted in any form, used in whole or part, or sourced for derivative works such as videos, television, and motion pictures, without prior written permission from the publisher.

Cataloging-in-Publication Recommendations:

HUM023000 HUMOR / Topic / Internet & Social Media

HUM000000 HUMOR / General

HUM019000 HUMOR / Topic / Language

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023911359

ISBN-13: 978-1-958922-28-6 Papercover

ISBN-13: 978-1-958922-29-3 Hardcover

ISBN-13: 978-1-958922-33-0 Ebooks

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my friend Garry Mac, who passed away on Feb. 1, 2023. Garry would have been first in line to buy ten copies of this book, to finish off his Christmas shopping list. He was a great encourager, and he loved to laugh. Thanks for the smiles, G-Mac. This one’s for you.

Introduction from David Carroll:

As an avid social media user and fan, I have enjoyed collecting misspellings, misinterpretations and other mishaps, and included them in my blogs and newspaper columns. The response from readers was encouraging. One might even call it a “title wave.”

Thankfully, many readers began sending in more examples of AutoCorrect and texting fails, poorly worded signs, and embarrassing invitations. Cindy Lowery in particular is always on the hunt for me.

This resulted in a series of columns, and the trend shows no signs of slowing down. You can blame it on voice to text, spell check blunders or many other factors.

No matter the reason, these social media mistakes are a good source of laughter. (And my own smart-aleck comments are added in bold parentheses, like this.) Your contributions are also welcome at [email protected].

Special thanks to Mike Salter for contributing the excellent illustrations and cover art. Mike is a graphic designer, book illustrator, portraitist, comic book/graphic novel artist/writer, and drummer living with his wife, Tam, and rescue dog, Penny, in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

I appreciate the hard work of Stephen Geez and Beem Weeks of Fresh Ink Group, and Jordan Rudzinski of WRCB.

Also much appreciation to my wife, Cindy, and my sons, Chris and Vince, for their patience and great advice. So with no further a dew, I hope you enjoy this diversion. I whole hardly endorse it. And please: take it with a grain assault.

Table of Contents

Education Errors

Bragging Blunders

Medical Mishaps

Random Rants

Drivers Ed

Legal Eagles

Political Fails

Church Bulletin Boo-Boos

Want Ads

Sports Slip-Ups

Vacation Blunders

Invitations to Disaster

Questions, Questions

I Saw it on the Tee Vee

Family Foul-Ups

Miscellaneous Mistakes

AutoCorrect Accidents

Signs of the Times

About the Arthur

EDUCATION ERRORS: Plane English

Comment on a search for a new school superintendent: “I hope they get a good one this time. The steaks are really high.”(I can’t argue with that. Steaks are really expensive.)

“We may have to change schools. The principle isn’t very smart.”(It’s the principal of the thing, right?)

From a 10th grader’s essay about her favorite memory from elementary school:“I always enjoyed showin’ tail.”(That might explain all those visits to the principal’s office.)

Student complaint: “This teacher said he would fell me.”(Like a big oak tree.)

Comment from a student who is thinking about skipping school: “It won’t hurt me to miss a day. It’s not like I’m ever going to be the Valid Victorian.” (Yeah, I think that’s a safe bet.)

Note to teacher from a student who was expecting a failing grade: “Just tell me how bad it was. Don’t sugar code it.” (I heard they were teaching coding, but I had no idea.)

Note to teacher from parent who complained about children spreading germs:“Y’all need to get serious about teaching proper High Jean!” (I AM serious. And don’t call me Jean.)

Comment from an 11th grader who was upset about a school issue: “We need a new super attendant!”(Maybe one who emphasizes spelling.)

Parent complaint to teacher: “The instructions are too hard. Can’t you write it in plane English?”(You know, like the airlines do.)

“I hated being in speling bees. I always felt like I would loose.” (And you were right.)

Parent complaint: “I may have to take this to the school bored.”(Surely you can muster up a little enthusiasm.)

Student complaint about teacher: “My English teacher gave me a failing grade. She says I need to learn more about past tents.” (This sounds more like a history lesson.)