Presence-Based Coaching E-Book

Doug Silsbee

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 432

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2008

Beschreibung

Presence-Based Coaching offers coaches a hands-on resource for developing the capacities and skills needed to be reliably present in all situations, and shows how to let go of habitual—and often ineffective—ways of responding. As author and leadership expert Doug Silsbee explains, once a coach has mastered the inner moves of directing their own attention, they can work to develop the same capability in their clients. The ability of a coach to facilitate lasting, sustainable development in leaders rests on the presence a coach offers to the coach-client relationship.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

Title Page

Copyright Page

Table of Figures

Table of Exhibits

Foreword

Acknowledgements

The Author

Introduction

CORE ASSERTIONS

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

MY PROMISE

READING AS EXPERIENCE

PART ONE - Presence, Self-Generation, and the Role of Coaching

CHAPTER 1 - Presence

PRESENCE DEMYSTIFIED

SO, WHAT IS PRESENCE?

IMPLICATIONS OF PRESENCE

PRESENCE AND THE PRODUCTS OF COACHING

CHALLENGES TO PRESENCE

CHAPTER 2 - How Humans Change: Conditioning, Identity, and Self-Generation

CONDITIONING

IDENTITY

BECOMING SELF-GENER ATIVE

HOW COACHING SUPPORTS SELF-GENER ATION AND SUSTAINABLE CHANGE

LIVING IN SELF-GENER ATION

CHAPTER 3 - Coach as Development Partner

PERFORMANCE VERSUS DEVELOPMENTAL COACHING

PRINCIPLES OF DEVELOPMENTAL COACHING

THREE INTEGRATED STRUCTURES FOR DEVELOPMENT

PRESENCE-BASED COACHING: FOUNDATIONS INTO METHODOLOGY

PART TWO - Inner Moves for Presence-Based Coaching

CHAPTER 4 - Orienting

A COACHING MODEL

YOUR CLIENT

PURPOSE

COACHING OUTCOMES

EXPANDED CONTEXTS

CHAPTER 5 - Holding

THE RELATIONAL FIELD

SILENCE AND POSSIBILITY

PART THREE - Generative Practices for Presence in Mind, Body, and Heart

CHAPTER 6 - Mind

BUILDING THE OBSERVER

WHAT’S TO OBSERVE?

WORKING WITH HABITS

DESIGNING SELF-OBSERVATIONS

ENGAGING IN SELF-OBSERVATION

COACHING IMPLICATIONS

CHAPTER 7 - Body

ASSERTIONS OF SOMATIC LITERACY

CENTERING

BUILDING SOMATIC AWARENESS

SOMATIC SELF-OBSERVATION

WORKING WITH URGES

BODY PRACTICES

COACHING IMPLICATIONS

CHAPTER 8 - Heart

DEVELOPING COMPASSION FOR SELF AND OTHERS

EXPERIENCING THE HEART

DECIDING THROUGH THE HEART

GRATITUDE

CONNECTING THROUGH THE HEART

LONGING

COACHING IMPLICATIONS

PART FOUR - Relational Moves for Presence-Based Coaching

CHAPTER 9 - Coach for Self-Observation and Realization

REFLECT

INVITE INTERNAL AWARENESS

FOCUS THE FIELD

CHALLENGE IDENTITY

CHAPTER 10 - Coach for Reorganization

SHIFT PERSPECTIVE

REORGANIZE AROUND CENTER

BUILD COMPETENCY IN SELF-REGULATION

MOBILIZE COMMITMENT

CHAPTER 11 - Coach for Stabilization

DESIGN FIELDWORK

WORK JOINTLY

CREATE NEW “FACTS ON THE GROUND”

CHAPTER 12 - Milestones: Entry, Continuation, Completion

ENTRY

CONTINUATION

COMPLETION, AND BEGINNING

Coda

APPENDIX A - Table of Moves and Practices

APPENDIX B - Purpose Exercise

APPENDIX C - Annotated Bibliography

APPENDIX D - Web-Based Resources

Notes

Index

Table of Figures

FIGURE 2.1. Habit and Self-Generative Loops.

Table of Exhibits

EXHIBIT 6.1. Self-Observation Template

EXHIBIT 11.1. Carly’s Self-Observation Example

“Doug Silsbee maps the territory of presence-based coaching and leadership with extraordinary rigor and nuance. Business educators will be intrigued by these insights into learning and practice, acquired in the crucible of the coach-client relationship.”

—Elizabeth A. Powell, associate professor, Darden School of Business, University of Virginia

“This book breaks important new ground for coaches, leaders, facilitators, and consultants. Doug goes far beyond basics to generously share the wisdom and techniques that built his reputation as a leading coach with over twenty years of success in helping his clients achieve and sustain results.”

—Anne S. Davidson, associate, Roger Schwarz and Associates, and coauthor,Facilitative Coaching

“Doug gets to the heart of the elusive yet foundational leadership quality of presence. This practical guidebook is clear and cogent. The liberal sprinkling of examples and exercises make it truly pragmatic.”

—Ann Fisher, managing director, Integral Coaching International, Shanghai, China

“I dare you to experience this book! I am amazed at what is happening—ease, stronger partnering, and joy with my team at work and my husband at home. This book delivers big on how to be present in important relationships!”

—Connie Maltbie-Shulas, manager, V-22 Training Program, The Boeing Company

“Presence-Based Coaching is uplifting and practical. It is an essential read for coaches and for leaders wanting to be professionally effective while living a balanced life. This book radiates presence while offering pragmatic business examples.”

—Diana Whitney, president, Corporation for Positive Change, and coauthor,The Power of Appreciative Inquiry

“Finally, a truly great book that develops the being of a coach. Nothing else offers such clear and practical tools. A must-read for professional coaches and leaders using a coaching approach.”

—Henry Kimsey-House, cofounder, The Coaches Training Institute, and coauthor,Co-Active Coaching

“If intention and authenticity in relationships is of interest, this is for you. Doug offers a supportive and challenging invitation to explore growth and change in ourselves and others.”

—Nancy Light, senior associate director of philanthropy, The Nature Conservancy in Maine

“Presence is essential for the accomplishment of any critical task. Complete focus, totally connected—no less is required of coaches and leaders. Doug is a great teacher, using presence as a theme to probe deeply into human consciousness, the only place real transformation can occur.”

—Harrison Owen, author,Open Space Technology

“Doug Silsbee nails it, giving us a doorway to experience the power of presence, and to bring it to bear on the development of authentic, purpose-driven leaders. This book is a sensible, grounded must-read!”

—Richard J. Leider, founder, The Inventure Group, and author,The Power of Purpose

“Silsbee moves incisively into the core challenges of development. Rigorous methodology and practices show how to develop the authentic, resilient leaders we so need. Silsbee is the master he writes about, knowing the possibilities that await those willing to engage in the rigorous demands of accelerated development.”

—Rod Napier, coauthor,The Courage to Act

“Presence-Based Coaching reminds us that our first step is the work we do on ourselves. This book invites us to expand beyond skill and technique to offer our presence—augmenting possibilities and choices for ourselves and clients.”

—Sharon King, editor, Center for Creative LeadershipHandbook of Coaching

“Doug Silsbee helps coaches and leaders wake up and develop beyond their current level of effectiveness. He presents a compelling picture of the power of bringing presence to clients.”

—Mary Beth O’Neill, founder, MBO Consulting, and author,Executive Coaching with Backbone and Heart

“Doug delivers frameworks for developing real-world leadership skills, while expanding awareness of what’s possible, even essential. Authentic and thought-provoking, I highly recommend this important new work.”

—Kelly Durkan Bean, assistant dean of executive education, UCLA Anderson School of Management

“Presence is the most important yet least understood coaching competency. Here is a path to effectiveness, life-long professional development, and joy for coach and leader.”

—Marcia Reynolds, author,Outsmart Your Brain,and former president, International Coach Federation

Copyright © 2008 by Douglas K. Silsbee. All rights reserved.

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eISBN : 978-0-470-46016-0

Foreword

AT FIRST GLANCE, DOUG SILSBEE’S NEW BOOK, Presence-Based Coaching: Cultivating Self-Generative Leaders Through Mind, Body, and Heart is a book for coaches. The book clearly describes how to develop the quality of presence and then how to offer that presence to the coach’s work with leaders. Silsbee’s book delivers for coaches who want to hold significantly deeper and more powerful coaching conversations with their leader clients. In addition, leaders in business, nonprofits, and education will benefit greatly from what is offered here.

However, this is more, much more, than a book for coaches or leaders. Essentially this is a book about waking up. At its core, everything presented here has application to all humans interested in their evolution and transformation. This is critically important in this historical time of accelerated change. As we face the environmental destruction of our planet, unmitigated violence worldwide, and the immoral plague of disenfranchisement, it is of utmost importance that we wake up and respond with skillful and compassionate action. This is a book for not only leaders and coaches, but for anyone else who hears the call to wake up and be a larger contribution to the world.

The profession of coaching is maturing. Government institutions, business, and the nonprofit sector regularly use coaches to assist their managers and executives and to improve team performance. There are a number of international organizations that certify coaches, hundreds of coach training programs, and countless coaching specialties. As in any discourse, there are pretenders and opportunists and significant gaps in the training, but we can safely say that coaching is here to stay, and it shows promise in providing lifelong learning and transformation. Yet something is missing in the training of coaches.

As the profession moves into its next stage of maturation, there’s a critical need to expand the coach’s learning so that it goes beyond technique and skill acquisition and completing courses. The time has arrived in the coach’s education to also emphasize the cultivation of the self. Clearly it’s important what the coach can do, but it’s more important how he or she is being. This requires the development of an embodied presence that is self-generating, self-healing, and self-educating. Presence-Based Coaching directly meets this need. This book will unquestionably advance how coaching is practiced and taught; it will also distinguish coaching as a far greater offer than it is now currently being presented. This is not a “how-to” book or a primer for beginning coaches. (For this, I recommend Doug’s first book, The Mindful Coach, which sets a solid foundation for coaching.) In this new book, Doug goes directly to the heart of developing the purpose, presence, and awareness necessary for a masterful coach.

Presence-Based Coaching is the result of Doug Silsbee’s many years of coaching leaders and teaching other coaches, combined with his ongoing commitment to his own personal evolution. What you will find in this book is the authentic voice of a person who has traveled the path that he teaches. Doug is not simply a highly refined intellect. He’s learned from the varied terrain that he has traveled, and has integrated this learning into his life and work as a coach and teacher. He embodies and lives the distinctions that he offers; his writing voice is accessible without sacrificing depth. There’s an intimacy in this book that makes the learning personal and very relevant. Doug has done, and is doing, the hard personal work of becoming a whole person that is necessary to be a master coach. He combines the scope of this journey with his powers of perception to create a pragmatic and poetically moving book. Presence-Based Coaching is a key contribution to the greening of the coaching profession.

This is an important book for two central reasons. One is that Doug brings forward the importance of the coach’s self-organization as a unity of mind, body, and heart in order to be more effective in coaching. He doesn’t do this by telling you what to do, but by inviting you into a state of reflection through questions and somatic practices. If you sincerely engage in these awareness and reflection practices, you will learn the moves and techniques of a coach; more important, you will generate the energy that fuels your own transformation. Very soon the reader begins to see that this book is full of gems that point to a way of being that includes the coaching discipline and then goes far beyond it. Most coaching books tell you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. This is often useful for beginners as long as they realize that it’s only a starting point. This is a prescriptive method, not an organic approach to the unfolding of a person’s process. It has its place in the beginning stages of learning, but fundamentally omits how the living presence of the coach affects the outcome of the coaching engagement. In a very clear and grounded manner, Doug outlines how coaches can self-organize in a way that will improve not only their technical skills but open a new dimension of being and presence that will powerfully and positively affect the leaders being coached. Silsbee points out that when coaches fully embody who they are in an authentic and genuine manner, they will draw more deeply on their intuition, awareness, and energy field to be more effective in their coaching practice. This state of being he calls presence. This is a state of expanded awareness that brings one fully into a living relationship with a larger reality and is a deeply felt experience of timelessness. He grounds all this through the body so these are not simply good ideas or a rehashing of the perennial philosophies, but pragmatic and highly actionable distinctions. Doug does this skillfully and artfully by drawing on his rich personal experiences, offering practices the reader can engage in, metaphors that bring a living reality to his ideas, and models for how readers can increase their presence as a coach.

The other central point is the possibility that we all can be self-generating leaders. Through living deeply in our mind, body, and heart, we are led to a place of increased choice, a larger context in which to view our life, new possibilities for action, longer moments of awakening, and increased fulfillment that we can extend to others. The business, education, and nonprofit environments we work in provide each of us an opportunity to contribute positively to shifting the consciousness of individuals, teams, and communities. This book will open the way for a new generation of coaching and leadership. More than that, it points the way to a state of being in which we can live our full potential.

Take this journey with Doug. Reflect on your purpose, commit to the practices, and embody a new way of being in order to benefit all.

Richard Strozzi-Heckler Author of The Leadership Dojo and In Search of the Warrior SpiritStrozzi Institute

Acknowledgments

No ray of sunshine is ever lost. But the green which it awakens into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted for the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith.

Albert Schweitzer

THIS BOOK REFLECTS THE LABORS AND CONTRIBUTIONS of many people; truly, this has been a team effort.

I am deeply appreciative of the people who read part or all of the manuscript and who gave me feedback that both challenged and affirmed my thinking along the way. It was enormously restorative to have such thoughtful encouragement and perspective. You were the air under my wings. Thank you, Beth Davis, Elaine Floyd, Julie Harris, Robyn McCullough, Rod Napier, Walker Silsbee, Carey Smith, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, and Kathe Sweeney.

Thanks to Kathe Sweeney and the rest of the outstanding team at Jossey-Bass, especially Rob Brandt, Brian Grimm, Nina Kreiden, Maria Meneses, Bev Miller, Adrian Morgan, Rebecca Still, and Karen Warner. It has been a delight to partner with such competence and experience. Thanks to Don Carroll, Anne Davidson, Elaine Floyd, John Flood, Les Landes, Mark Mooney, Lili Powell, Joel Rothaizer, Roger Schwarz, Jenny Sheehan, Madeline Wade, Hannah Wilder, my AL Team, and others who gave me significant support through the unique gifts that are yours.

The legacies of countless teachers, living and ancient, are manifest in this work. I am acutely aware of the influence of some who have taught me directly: Rod Napier, Richard Moss, Darya Funches, Nancy Spence, James Flaherty, Sarita Chawla, Irmansyah Effendi, and Richard Strozzi-Heckler, among others. May you feel, in some small way, my deep appreciation for doing your own work with such commitment and rigor for the sake of becoming—and for sharing of yourself generously that those of us who follow might benefit. You, and your teachers before you, are each present in me. The legacy stretches back over millennia.

Thank you, too, readers of this book, the many clients I have worked with over the years, and participants in my retreats, from whom I have learned much, and all of whom I hope have benefited in some way from what I offer. Such is the nature of lineage.

My parents, of course, have been wonderful teachers for me. My mother, Ann, bequeathed me creativity and passion and self-examination. From you, Bob, I learned to marvel at the world, to be infinitely curious, to be gentle and kind, and to be a teacher in the absolute best sense of the word. I have deep gratitude to my three grown children: Alisia, Megan, and Nathan. You have each taught me, and continue to teach me, more than you ever can know about love and about letting go. And to Miles, my first grandchild, born the day after my initial manuscript deadline. You are simultaneously teaching me about unconditional love and providing an intimate view of the miraculous process of human development.

Thank you, Walker, for once again giving me the support to do what is mine to do. You are a committed, wonderful, and rigorous partner in the dance of life, and I’m so grateful to be hitched to the ever shining star that is you. Thanks for being my wife!

And, last but not least, thank you, True Source, for all the countless blessings of this life.

The Author

DOUG SILSBEE IS A LEADER IN THE FIELD OF presence-based leadership development. He is an executive coach, retreat leader, speaker, and author in Asheville, North Carolina. He specializes in coaching self-generative leaders in major corporations, small business, and education. His presence-based coaching encourages clients to enter into strong commitments and to take meaningful and skillful action to produce results they care about. Along the way, clients cultivate leadership presence, resilience, and aliveness.

A master teacher, Silsbee has worked with leaders in eleven countries on four continents, and he owns a mountain retreat center in North Carolina. He has studied with some of the pioneers in the coaching field, including James Flaherty and Richard Strozzi-Heckler, is certified as a Master Somatic Coach by Strozzi Institute, and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). He serves as adjunct faculty at the Federal Executive Institute and is an affiliate of Pyramid Resource Group.

Silsbee is also the author of The Mindful Coach (2004). He has been a frequent and well-received presenter at ICF conferences, as well as conferences for the International Association of Facilitators, Association for Experiential Education, and OD Network.

More information on Silsbee’s work can be found at http://dougsilsbee.com.

Introduction

We work on ourselves in order to help others, and also we help others in order to work on ourselves.

Pema Chödrön

MANY YEARS AGO, I FACED A SIGNIFICANT PROFESSIONAL challenge. I was about to fly overseas to teach a ten-day seminar to a group of Latin American professors at a prestigious business school. It was early in my career, and I was terrified. I was positive that the participants in the seminar would be smarter than me, more knowledgeable about the subject matter, skeptical, resistant, and questioning of my competence.

I spoke with my mentor the day before I left. He saw capacities in me that I was not yet able to see in myself. He calmly reminded me of indisputable evidence about my competence, ability to design, and capacity to respond creatively to the unexpected. Remembering this evidence (which, in my panic, I’d conveniently forgotten) was reassuring. More important, an intangible quality in his voice—call it confidence, authority, or presence—invited me to relax, lean into my knowledge and instincts, and step openly and calmly into this unknown territory.