The Mindful Coach E-Book

Doug Silsbee

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 438

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Beschreibung

REGARDLESS OF YOUR LEVEL of coaching experience, you are likely to be asked to support the development of people with whom you share a professional or personal ­relationship.

In this thoroughly revised and updated edition of his best-selling book The Mindful Coach, expert coach Doug Silsbee presents his practical Septet Model as an ideal tool for ­conducting coaching conversations with executives, leaders, and other professionals. The model ­differentiates seven roles (or Voices) that anyone in a coaching role can use when engaging in these learning conversations: Master, Partner, Investigator, Reflector, Teacher, Guide, and ­Contractor. In this important book, Silsbee illuminates the dynamic relationship among these seven roles and shows how to integrate them into an intelligent strategy that can be applied to any coaching conversation.

Designed as a down-to-earth resource, The Mindful Coach is filled with practical exercises and sample dialogues for learning and applying the model. Throughout the book, Silsbee’s strong emphasis on self-knowledge and mindfulness integrates with the Septet Model in a transformational approach to coaching that has consistently produced significant and sustainable results for leaders in Fortune 100 companies, nonprofit organizations, business schools, education, and government.

Leseprobe

Contents

Exercises, Practices, Exhibits, and Figures

Foreword

Preface to the New and Revised Edition

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Being of Coaching: Mindful Service

Placing Oneself in Service

Mindfulness and Self-Awareness

Mindfulness and the Three Levels of Experience

Attachments and Aversions

Conditioning and Habits That Block Mindfulness

Coaching Habits

Chapter 2: Cultivating Mindfulness

Self-Observation

Practices for Cultivating Mindfulness

Coach as Learner

Accountability in Service

Chapter 3: The Seven Voices of the Coach

Learning the Voices

The Individual Roles or Voices

The Voices and Their Aspects

Placing the Voices in Context

Chapter 4: The Master

Maintaining Self-Awareness

Listening with Focus and Presence

Modeling Learning and Growth

Embracing the Client with Compassion and Respect

Choosing Which of the Operational Voices to Use at a Given Time

The Mindful Master

Chapter 5: The Partner

Establishing and Honoring an Explicit Structure for the Coaching Relationship

Advocating Shared Commitment to Competency-Based Coaching Outcomes

Offering Choice Points and Making Joint Decisions About the Coaching Process

The Mindful Partner

Chapter 6: The Investigator

Asking Questions That Shift the Client’s Understanding of the Situation

Helping the Client to Articulate Desired Outcomes

Asking the Client to Generate Courses of Action

The Mindful Investigator

Chapter 7: The Reflector

Providing Direct and Honest Feedback

Directing the Client’s Attention Toward His or Her Capabilities and Potential

Encouraging Self-Observation and Reflection

The Mindful Reflector

Chapter 8: The Teacher

Providing New Distinctions, Information, and Knowledge

Challenging and Stimulating the Client’s Thinking Process

Explaining the Coaching Process, Theory, and Models Being Used

The Mindful Teacher

Chapter 9: The Guide

Encouraging the Client to Take Some Action of the Client’s Choosing

Offering Options for Action

Recommending Specific Courses of Action

The Mindful Guide

Chapter 10: The Contractor

Establishing Clear Agreements About Actions

Exploring and Resolving Client Doubts and Hesitations

Following Up with the Client About Agreed-On Actions

The Mindful Contractor

Chapter 11: Self-Development Strategies for the Coach

Self-Assessment Tools

Self-Observation as a Coach

Navigating the Model

Learning from Your Reflection

Reviewing Audio Recordings

Obtaining and Listening to Client Feedback

Planning Your Own Development

Epilogue: Coaching as a Journey Toward Mastery

Selected Reading

Acknowledgments

The Author

Index

“Doug Silsbee has written a useful book for anybody facilitating the growth and development of individuals and groups. His approach reaches deeply into human consciousness and experience, where meaningful change and growth occur.”

—Harrison Owen, author,Open Space Technology

“Doug has a wonderful way of ‘unpacking’ what coaches do, spotlighting critical elements of this challenging work and shining an even brighter light on the being of coaching. I urge you to jump into this rich, thoughtful book!”

—Ann F. Fisher, managing director, Integral Coaching International, Shanghai

“The Mindful Coach captures the very essence of what coaching can be. Silsbee marries the art and science of human dialogue, of compassionate listening and advice giving without creating dependency. He guides the reader gently through the seven distinct roles of a true helping relationship. This is a process to be internalized at a deep level and lived every day.”

—Rod Napier, Ph.D., professor, consultant, author,The Courage to Actand ten other books

“This is the guide for leaders committed to helping others learn. The seven roles will help any leader facilitate more meaningful development conversations. This new edition engaged me instantly, with immediate applications in key relationships.”

—Darelyn “DJ” Mitsch, MCC, president, Pyramid Resource Group, former president, International Coach Federation

“Coaching is a profession for some and a necessity for many. All of us who lead, manage, or teach are often in the role of the coach, whether we think about it that way or not. The Mindful Coach provides a framework that works for the professional coach as well as the everyday manager. Silsbee has created the holistic guide to coaching.”

—Bill Coleman, senior vice president of compensation, Salary.com

“The tools of coaching that Silsbee outlines, with an emphasis on mindfulness and service, provide the fundamental basis for holistic and integrative physicians to work with patients.”

—Patrick Hanaway, M.D., president, American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine

“The Mindful Coach takes the meaning of coaching well beyond popular models into a deeply integrated practice of intentionality and professionalism at their highest levels. This book is bound to improve the quality and effectiveness of coaching for all who apply the wisdom contained in these pages.”

—James Michael Burke, Ph.D., director, Performance Management Group, Virginia Commonwealth University

“The Mindful Coach is warm, sensitive, and intuitive, while at the same time clearly written by a scientific mind. The book provides a simple and cohesive model for the development process, coupled with practical strategies on how to become a more conscious practitioner. Thank you.”

—Alejandro Bolaños, consultant, Central America

“The development of people is a key competency for business leadership. The Mindful Coach provides an inspiring and practical road map for developing masterful coaching skills on the job. This refreshing work showcases coaching in a new light.”

—Karen Wunderlin, consultant, former executive in marketing, GE Appliances

“Silsbee’s analysis of the coaching process is clear and intuitive. Its simplicity allows it to be easily used, yet it’s rich in detail, making it a powerful analytical tool for the professional. Wrapped in a holistic framework that accounts for the coach, the client, and the process of coaching, it will enrich the insight and practice of every interested reader.”

—Christopher C. Dennen, Ph.D., president, Innovative Healing Inc.

“The Mindful Coach goes far beyond coaching steps and models, offering a path for coaches to work more deeply and authentically to guide their clients to significant new results.”

—Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D., author,Outsmart Your Brain: How to Make Success Feel Easy, past president, International Coach Federation

“Silsbee’s seven voices are an invaluable tool in my multiple roles as an executive, educator, and coach. The rigorous practice of focusing attention on what my associates, students, and executive clients need—in the moment—helps me deliver for them while growing myself at the same time.”

—Kelly Bean, assistant dean, UCLA Anderson Executive Education

“A clear and integrated model to assist people in understanding and applying the important skills in mindfulness and coaching. Executives from diverse backgrounds will find The Mindful Coach an insightful and practical guide.”

—Hannah S. Wilder, Ph.D., MCC, executive director, Advantara Global Executive Learning and Coach Education Institute

“In his hands-on new book, replete with artful and challenging exercises, Silsbee models the mindfulness depth from which he springs in order to impart a valuable new coaching model based on professionalism, integrity, and dedication to service.”

—Maggie Lichtenberg, MCC, professional coach

“In serving others, we can get overly focused on specific strategies or tactics and lose perspective of the larger, broader dynamic. The Mindful Coach delivers by clarifying, organizing, and contextualizing what it really means to be involved in a coaching relationship.”

—Joe Jotkowitz, president, Essessnet

Copyright © 2004, 2010, Douglas K. Silsbee. Original edition published in 2004 by Ivy River Press. Current edition published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.

Published by Jossey-Bass

A Wiley Imprint

989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741—www.josseybass.com

This book is printed with vegetable-based inks. The text paper was manufactured using a high yield thermomechanical pulp that utilizes as much as 80 percent of the harvested tree and is brightened using an elemental chlorine free bleaching process. Our use of lighter weight paper reduces the amount of paper (and trees) required to produce this book.

The poems “Orioling” and “The Ten Thousand Things” are from Orioling, by Ann Silsbee. Copyright © 2003 by Ann Silsbee. Published by Red Hen Press, and used by permission of the author.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax [phone], or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax [phone], or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax [phone]. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Silsbee, Douglas K.

The mindful coach: seven roles for facilitating leader development/ Douglas Silsbee; foreword by Marshall Goldsmith. —New and rev. ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-470-54866-0 (cloth)

1. Executive coaching. 2. Personal coaching. 3. Counseling. 4. Spiritual exercises. 5. Self-actualization (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Buddhism. I. Title.

HD30.4.S56 2010

658.4’07124—dc22

2009047065

Exercises, Practices, Exhibits, and Figures

Exercises

I.1

Defining Coaching for Yourself

1.1

Mindful Eating

1.2

Building Somatic and Emotional Awareness

1.3

The Bell Exercise

2.1

Self-Observation of a Habit

4.1

Cultivating the Master

4.2

Mastering Self-Observation

5.1

Self-Coaching as Partner: Making a Commitment

5.2

Partner Areas for Attention

5.3

Partner Self-Observation

6.1

Self-Coaching as Investigator: Three Lines of Questioning

6.2

Investigator Areas for Attention

6.3

Investigator Self-Observation

7.1

Self-Coaching as Reflector: Providing Feedback

7.2

Reflector Areas for Attention

7.3

Reflector Self-Observation

8.1

Self-Coaching as Teacher: Making Pedagogy Visible

8.2

Teacher Areas for Attention

8.3

Teacher Self-Observation

9.1

Self-Coaching as Guide: Providing Impetus and/or Direction

9.2

Guide Areas for Attention

9.3

Guide Self-Observation

10.1

Self-Coaching as Contractor: Structuring Actions and Testing for Fit and Commitment

10.2

Contractor Areas for Attention

10.3

Contractor Self-Observation

11.1

A Brief Coaching Self-Assessment

11.2

Self-Observation on a Specific Voice or Aspect

11.3

Bringing Awareness into Using Stronger Voices

11.4

Increasing the Use of an Aspect

11.5

Questioning and Telling

11.6

Building Creative Tension

11.7

Focusing on Questioning

11.8

Observing Your Coaching Flow

11.9

Observing the Impetus Behind Your Coaching Flow

11.10

Recognizing Your Projections

11.11

Audio Review

Practices

2.1

Sitting

2.2

Centering

Exhibits

I.1

Coaching and Noncoaching Activities in Three Fields

3.1

The Voices and Their Aspects

6.1

Sample Situation Questions

6.2

Sample Outcome Questions

6.3

Sample Action Questions

9.1

Sample Fieldwork Actions

10.1

Sample Individual Development Plan

11.1

The Operational Voices

Figures

3.1

Septet Coaching Model

3.2

The Coaching Space

3.3

The Investigator and Creative Tension

11.1

The Operational Voices

Orioling

You love their singing—the thrush, the orioles—

though they don’t perform for you. Theirs is a clan

song: My bugs, my bough, my mate, and:

See how bright the orange and black of my feathers.

Nor do they sing for blighted love the hard

blues of loss we would, or for joy,

but because they can’t help it, because song

blossoms from the stem of their being bird.

Human, you can’t help trying to understand

what stalk you flower from, what undertow

rises in the flutist to quicken with breath

the arcs and dips of prior minds, or mind

itself, playing with fugue, with E = MC2

inventing wheel, organ, flute, B Minor Mass—

Buddha—the bomb. The song you bear buds

under your mind’s tongue like a first word.

—Ann Silsbee

Foreword

Imagine CEOs of The World’s Largest Companies Speaking openly to their coworkers about their efforts to develop themselves as leaders. In the past it would have been difficult, if not impossible, to conceive of such individuals sharing their 360-degree feedback with colleagues, much less asking colleagues for help in the areas they are trying to improve. Today many of the world’s most respected chief executives are setting a positive example by candidly discussing feedback and their personal development plans.

In my coaching experience, one of the best ways executives can get their leaders to improve is to lead by example and work on improving themselves. There are two obvious benefits of being such a role model. First, by discussing personal challenges and practicing self-development, executives make it difficult for anyone else in the company to pretend he has nothing to work on. Second, having dialogues with the CEO about business challenges and development needs makes it easier for employees throughout the organization to discuss their own business challenges and developmental needs. This executive candor fosters change and can help turn around even a troubled company.

Unfortunately, CEOs who are arrogant and just tell others what they need to improve, rather than working on themselves, are also models of behavior for the rest of the company. Their behavior is inevitably copied at every level, with people at each level telling their followers how they need to improve. The result is that no one gets better. The principle of leadership by personal example doesn’t apply just to those at the top. It applies to every level of management. It applies in both the positive and the negative. And, significantly for us, it applies to coaches too!

As a coach, I’ve realized that my success with clients isn’t about me. It’s about being honest with myself about the people I choose to coach. It’s about being mindful of my role in this trusted position that we call “executive coach.” I don’t hold myself up as a “coach expert.” There’s an ancient proverb that says, “The best leader is the one the people do not notice. When the best leader’s work is done, the people say, ‘We did it ourselves.’ ” I believe this to be true for the coach. My success as a coach is dependent on letting go of my ego and realizing that most of what my clients learn about themselves comes not from me, but from their friends, their coworkers and peers, and their families. I just try to provide help when it’s needed and assist them in recognizing when they are straying from the changes they are trying to make.

I cannot make the people I work with change. I don’t try. I can be mindful in my work with leaders, and that’s where The Mindful Coach, this wonderful book by Doug Silsbee, is so helpful to me as a coach. The Mindful Coach provides both thought leadership and pragmatic guidance for coaches in order that we might bring mindfulness into our work with leaders, learn the territory of working with our own habits, have a set of distinctions for observing ourselves in action, and skillfully navigate the coaching conversation to open real opportunities for substantive change with our clients. Capturing the essence of what coaching can be in The Mindful Coach, Doug Silsbee has given us an incredibly valuable and integrated framework that will have significant impact on our field for years to come.

Marshall Goldsmith

Author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and Succession: Are You Ready?

Preface to the New and Revised Edition

We work on ourselves in order to help others; and also we help others in order to work on ourselves.

Pema Chödrön

THIS BOOK IS WRITTEN FOR YOU—IN YOUR ROLE AS AN EXECUTIVE, manager, social worker, therapist, educator, or consultant whose work provides you the wonderful privilege of supporting the growth and development of others. You will discover how to orient yourself within the coaching process, be a more powerful development partner in serving others, and explore a rigorous path of self-discovery.

People who are committed to self-development and who write books have a unique dilemma. Our writing is inherently autobiographical; we cannot help but write from the perspective of who we are at the time we are writing. However, because we are constantly evolving, a book can never be a complete or accurate reflection of us. At some point, we have to say, “Perfect enough!” and put it out into the world as an offering. Then, of course, the book is fixed in the public’s mind, and, by extension, become fixed in the public’s mind.