The Humboldt Triangle E-Book

Nicolas Montemolinos

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 122

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025

Beschreibung

In 2019, Alexander von Humboldt was very present in the media, as his 250th birthday was celebrated. Television programs, newspapers, and new books euphorically reported on a man who had achieved superhuman things. There was talk of the "Shakespeare of science," the "German Indiana Jones," or even a "Prussian Columbus." This glorification and hero worship sometimes degenerated into a completely exaggerated cult of saints. But saints, as we know, are often fictitious creatures or hypocrites. Despite all the enthusiasm for the achievements of the great polymath, one should not forget that this is about a man of flesh and blood, a man who was certainly many things, but not an asexual neutral devoted solely to science. Among other things, this book deals with the following questions: Did he have an illegitimate son? Did he have a love triangle in South America? Or was he not sexually active during the five years of his journey?

Leseprobe

A historical story

Table of contents

Foreword

I Coca with lime earth

II Carlos instead of Rosa

III Totally in love

IV Chilling out in Chillo

V Pitiful pyramid remains

VI Toyboy

VII Throne of the Moon

VIII Humboldt's son

IX Double blow

X At the pig priest

XI Mountain wedding

XII Chinese bark trees

XIII Desires

XIV Bad mood in Lima

XV Annus horribilis

XVI Final remarks

FOREWORD

In 2019, Alexander von Humboldt was very present in the media, as his 250th birthday was celebrated. Television programs, newspapers, and new books euphorically reported on a man who had achieved superhuman things. There was talk of the "Shakespeare of science," the "German Indiana Jones," or even a "Prussian Columbus." This glorification and hero worship sometimes degenerated into a completely exaggerated cult of saints. But saints, as we know, are often fictitious creatures or hypocrites. Despite all the enthusiasm for the achievements of the great polymath, one should not forget that this is about a man of flesh and blood, a man who was certainly many things, but not an asexual neutral devoted solely to science. Dear reader, please ask yourself honestly: Are envy, jealousy, vanity, greed, sexual desire, infatuation, or high spirits completely alien to you? No? Why then should such feelings be out of the question for Humboldt? Because the so-called "sources" don't factually support it, because it can't be "scientifically" proven? It's no use turning Humboldt into a mere factual subject that one studies using sources, diaries, and old manuscripts. Is everything there, or is something missing? Something crucial? Sometimes it helps to simply use common sense and put two and two together. Of course, none of us were there on his journey, but with a little imaginative power, intuition, and feeling, his American adventure can be retraced in a much more personal and realistic way than has been done so far. Of course, there is no guarantee, but if you need one hundred percent certainty, it is better not to go outside and certainly not to read this book. Among other things, this book deals with the following questions: Did he have an illegitimate son? Did he have a love triangle in South America? Or was he not sexually active during the five years of his journey? The following story is the first attempt to unravel these private mysteries of Humboldt's expedition. Incidentally, this text was translated from the original German version using artificial intelligence.

I COCA WITH LIME EARTH

We begin our story on New Year's Day in 1802, a very special year for the 32-year-old Alexander von Humboldt, who was in the prime of his life at the time. It was to be the year in which Cupid's arrow struck him like never before in his earthly existence and he would be overwhelmed for the first time by a tsunami of sensuality that he himself would not have thought possible. But more on that later. On this first day of his fateful year, Humboldt's entourage, consisting of himself, his traveling companion, the four years younger French botanist and doctor Aimé Bonpland, as well as his servant José Gonzales, the other native helpers and various mules, horses and oxen, slowly made its way towards the town of Ibarra. For almost two and a half years he had been traveling through the Spanish viceroyalty of New Granada, which was the political predecessor of today's states of Panama, Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador. On the first of January, they crossed the present-day border between Colombia and Ecuador in the Andean highlands and inevitably approached the equator, which was rather chilly for the German at this altitude. Humboldt was shivering here on the old military road, but he was still in a good mood. After a stay of over two months in Bogotá, the administrative seat of New Granada, he was now glad to see something new and to have escaped the social obligations he hated so much for the time being. The German explorer was not very impressed with the city of Bogotá: a shabby, run-down municipality on the Andean high plateau at an altitude of 2,600 meters with dilapidated buildings and a corrupt upper class. However, the 70-year-old priest and scholar José Celestino Mutis, the universally recognized scientific luminary of New Granada, lived here and Humboldt was keen to meet him for a scientific exchange.

Humboldt had some “jitters” before meeting the famous South American sage, as he was considered to be extremely difficult and reserved. But it turned out that such fears were unfounded. Mutis was delighted with the visit from Europe, as it brought him a high reputation among local celebrities, and in the spirit of science he shared with the German and the Frenchman all the knowledge he had acquired over almost forty years about the local botany and geography. He also granted them unrestricted access to his huge library, which proved to be a real stroke of luck for Humboldt, as he was able to verify and round off the knowledge he had gained in South America and “soak up” new findings. His Spanish had become quite good in the meantime and, unlike Bonpland, the sometimes adventurous dialects of the New World caused him fewer and fewer difficulties. The scientific exchange with Mutis, whom Humboldt undisputedly recognized as an authority, brought Humboldt extreme benefits, but the social interaction with the local upper class, which Mutis regarded as indispensable, really annoyed the Prussian. Humboldt found all the parties and salons a waste of time. He always had to dress up in his Prussian court uniform in order to cut a good figure. But he knew that performing such duties in New Granada, which was generally closed and inaccessible to foreigners, opened doors that would otherwise remain closed to him. So he acted according to the motto “eyes closed and through”. Humboldt and Bonpland needed the letters of recommendation, the donations of money and goods and the contacts of the top ten thousand in order to make progress efficiently and cost-effectively. Although the Prussian aristocrat had inherited around 100,000 thalers from his mother, roughly equivalent to 5 million euros in today's money, even this sum was finite. He therefore always viewed the receptions from the point of view of his own marketing and fundraising for his research trip. They were an unavoidable, necessary evil. Prostitution for science, so to speak. The bachelor Humboldt found it particularly unpleasant when he was introduced to the marriageable, unmarried daughters of local high society, with whom he then had to engage in gallant small talk, only to take his leave skilfully without offending anyone too much. Unlike Bonpland, who in the course of the journey so far had by no means turned out to be a connoisseur of the female sex, Humboldt had no such feelings for these angelic creatures clad in pink, white and yellow robes. On the contrary, make-up and lace regularly drove him to immediate flight.

But all that was now behind him for the time being. He could breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy the fresh air blowing into the valley from the surrounding Andean peaks. Alexander von Humboldt felt healthy and clear-headed. In contrast to Bonpland, who was once again ailing and had been weakened by some kind of fever since they had sailed on the Río Magdalena. The Prussian was secretly pleased about his good health compared to the younger Bonpland, but had a suspicion that he kept to himself. Humboldt suspected that Bonpland had possibly caught a worm or something of the sort during his repeated womanizing with indigenous women or mestizos. In Humboldt's eyes, Bonpland was a good person and a loyal friend and traveling companion. But in his late twenties he was also often hostage to his instincts, i.e. he could not and would not give up sexuality. His orientation and preferences were as flexible as railroad tracks. The Frenchman only desired small, exotic women with sagging breasts and black hair. Humboldt shuddered at the thought of who his “good plant” (the Frenchman's artificial name) had already pollinated since its arrival in Cumana and was convinced that many of its seeds had already sprouted. The German was amazed at how easy it was for the Frenchman to make contact with the women. In his eyes, Bonpland wasn't really ugly, but he wasn't attractive in any way either. His black hair had a greasy shine, his face looked as bulbous as a farmer's and he was only slightly taller than Humboldt himself. But this made his companion look more like the local population than he did with his blond hair, and compared to the local men, even Bonpland almost always stood out from the average by a head's length. In other words, a man who was an attractive proposition for the Indians and mestizos, but who was and remained completely uninteresting to Humboldt. There was probably no money involved, as the Frenchman had none and the Prussian managed the cash register. In any case, Bonpland was satisfied and ill and Humboldt unsatisfied and healthy. A condition that Humboldt had been able to suppress in the last two months at Mutis by working feverishly, but now his little friend between his legs was making himself heard more strongly again. In the morning, during the day and also at night, the researcher was plagued by persistent erections that could not be brought under control even by increased masturbation. The rocking on horseback only intensified the phenomenon, and Humboldt had to admit to himself that he was pretty horny, but lacked the opportunity to relieve the pressure. Bonpland had a clear advantage. To satisfy his physical cravings, he sometimes chewed small amounts of coca leaves mixed with lime. This turned into a kind of chewing gum in his mouth and calmed him down a little. Thoughts of sex evaporated and his concentration returned.

Alexander von Humboldt was looking forward to the upcoming meeting with Francisco José de Caldas in Ibarra, a self-taught astronomer and biogeographer from Popayán who was about the same age. The honorable Mutis had arranged the contact and insisted on a meeting with this simple man, who had no title and no possessions. And Humboldt could not refuse Mutis' request, as he had provided the rest of the expedition with money, pack animals and supplies and had almost all the finds from the previous journey shipped to Madrid via Bogotá. On various ships, in the hope that at least part of the collection would reach the Spanish capital. However, the Prussian would probably have visited Caldas even without pressure from Mutis, as Humboldt was very interested in tapping into the knowledge of local researchers and marketing it in Europe. When traveling, he did not have the time to carry out longer and more thorough research or measurements in one and the same place, as the locals were able to do.

In Popayán, the travel group visited Caldas' home but unfortunately did not find him. Humboldt was told there that Caldas was in Quito because he had to attend a court case. Caldas' shabby little house, probably the house where he was born, was two blocks from the market square and did not really invite the group to linger. They reached Caldas in Quito by carrier pigeon and arranged for him to ride half the distance between Quito and Popayán to meet them in Ibarra. Popayán itself was a sleepy, damp hole in the Pubenza Valley with only 7,000 inhabitants, surrounded by gold mines. It rained constantly and Humboldt's party got stuck in the mud several times. How happy the explorers were to arrive in Ibarra around noon on January 2, 1802, which made a much friendlier impression and had better weather! Humboldt already had a high opinion of Francisco de Caldas before meeting him, as he had been properly briefed by Mutis. In his diary on November 15, 1801, he wrote: "He has been working here in the dark of a remote town for years, a veritable miracle in astronomy. Until recently, he had hardly traveled from this ultima Thule other than to Bogotá. He made his own instruments for measurements and observations. Now he draws meridians, now he measures latitudes! What would such a man achieve in a country where he would receive more support!" After his visit to Popayán, to this “ass of the world”, as one would postulate today, Humboldt found Caldas' achievements all the more astonishing.

But the young Criollo Caldas was also eagerly awaiting the meeting with the Franco-German explorer couple. Criollos, as all Europeans born outside Spain were somewhat disparagingly called in New Granada. Mutis, on the other hand, had been born in Cádiz, Spain, and was therefore not a criollo. Caldas had realized that the meeting with the German baron would probably be the only opportunity in his life to connect with a famous person, to raise his own status and to gain many new scientific insights and methods through him. Caldas, who had studied law in Bogotá rather reluctantly and was only able to do any research at all thanks to the support of rich patrons from Cartagena and Bogotá, had organized accommodation for Humboldt and Bonpland with the local head of administration of Ibarra, Corregidor José Antonio Parco. Humboldt was very taken with this accommodation and the friendliness of his hosts, and when he was served a tasty stew of potatoes, beans and corn, it seemed to him as if he was back in his beloved Paris for a brief moment, in the best of all worlds. Caldas finally arrived at 3 pm. They were obviously pretty much on the same wavelength, as an extremely fruitful dialog about the Andes, their geography, the plants, the volcanoes and the climate immediately ensued. Humboldt was quite impressed by Calda's knowledge and very pleased that Mutis had recommended this young scientist to him. The first meeting with this complete stranger could not have gone better. There was an instant connection, the baron immediately felt an appreciation for his counterpart and a certain sympathy.