The Uber Psychologist E-Book

Maverick McGovern

• Herausgeber: BooxAi
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Beschreibung

"In The Uber Psychologist, author, psychologist and Uber driver, Maverick McGovern delivers colorful descriptions of his thought-provoking interactions with more than one hundred riders in the Charlotte area. The brief stories are fascinating. One leads to another and another, and I found it hard to stop reading, reminding me of eating potato chips; you just want more! McGovern's examination of the Stoic philosophy and how one can practice its Virtues demonstrates how attitude can affect powerful changes in how a person meets whatever challenges they have to face in life, from the tragic to the annoying and everything in between. As he states in the book, adversity is simply an opportunity to practice one's virtues."
Susan Stackler
Librarian/Retired School Teacher

Leseprobe

Maverick McGovern

The Uber Psychologist

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2023 by Maverick McGovern

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

To protect confidentiality, the names of riders have been changed unless permission was given to use the names.

Published by BooxAi

ISBN:978-965-578-185-4

The Uber Psychologist

Enhancing Compassion

Maverick McGovern

Contents

About the Author

Acknowledgments

Prologue

1. The Death of Suicide

2. Riders, Customers and Robust Experiences

3. Transcendental Love

4. Meditations and Hypnosis

5. Stoic Learnings

6. Stoic Talk Counseling

7. A Stoic Leader

8. My Friend Mick

9. Return from Exile

Epilogue

The Stoic Umbrella

References

Recommendations

About the Author

Maverick (previously Hank) McGovern has practiced psychology in North Carolina and Delaware since 1983 when he earned his Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. He has practiced in a variety of clinical settings including two psychiatric hospitals, five mental health centers, a youth development center, a private practice, agencies specializing in the assessment and treatment of developmentally disabled individuals. He also taught several psychology courses at five community colleges. He is licensed as an LPA with the North Carolina Psychology Board, an Associate Member of the American Psychological Association, a member of the American Association of Suicidology (which endorsed his first book, “A Suicide Note of Hope, More Than a Memoir), and a member of the International Society of Ethical Psychologists and Psychiatrists (ISEPP).

Maverick also participated in endurance athletics, having completed ten marathons, twenty-eight triathlons, and trained for five years to swim the English Channel.

Maverick began driving for Uber in 2016 after a contract in psychology did not pan out, and in so doing, promoted his first book, “A Suicide Note of Hope, More Than a Memoir” to his passengers, many of whom took interest in and purchased it. In this regard, he continues to maintain his mission to help in the reduction of suicide.

Acknowledgments

A note of thanks is given to the following individuals for assisting in the production of this book. For providing feedback regarding content: Brian W. Porter, Mike Hughes, Craig Smith, PhD, Susan Stackler, Scott Tanseer, for technology: Rebecca Parks, Joe Burris, Best Buy Geek Squad.

A special note of thanks to the Illustrator: Jill Hunter.

A special note of thanks for the painting of Stoic Porch--Scott Tanseer

A special thanks to my reliable, excellent car mechanics Stewart Floyd and Jordan McCullen who have kept me on the road for almost seven years.

This book is dedicated with compassion to Gianna Floyd

Prologue

“Why don’t you try driving for Uber?” Mick asked me.

“What’s that?”

“You pick people up in your car where they live or work and drive them to where they need to go. It’s like driving a taxi-cab.”

That was 2016. Mick was my friend who I met in 1965 when we lived at an orphanage, the Milton Hershey School. He had a tendency to give advice and encouraged me to try out for the swim team when I was 11 and to learn about mindfulness meditation decades later, both of which became life-changing for me.

“I’ll give it a shot. I’m broke and it can’t hurt.”

Cardinal Innovations, a Managed Care Organization, had recently terminated a contract I had with them as a psychologist, and I felt desperate to make money to support myself. Losing a job and being broke wasn’t anything new, and I have joked that I probably have the North Carolina record for losing the most jobs as a psychologist. It’s a joke, just not the funny kind.

I discovered that to get started I needed to download an Uber app. Not being tech savvy was an understatement so I had to swallow some pride and find a woman, T, young enough to be my granddaughter to help me with that simple task. Once accomplished, I was ready to find an Uber Green Light Hub where a gentleman provided the stepwise instructions for how I would accept riders, pick them up, drive them while showing respect and politeness, drop them off and rate them, knowing they would also rate me. Having a Master’s degree in clinical psychology, I felt I might be capable of managing the job. Plus, I would be my own boss, which, having problems with authority figures throughout my career, would be a significant advantage.

I felt humbled by the specter of driving for Uber after having worked as a psychologist for 33 years and publishing a successful book entitled A Suicide Note of Hope, More Than a Memoir.

That book was prompted by being wrongfully fired at a mental health center because of an administrator who wanted to get rid of me, and that firing triggered suicidal ideation. I was in despair. In the book, I began writing a suicide note and, with each chapter, I became less suicidal, until I finally talked myself out of it. The transformation was connoted by the titles of the first and tenth chapters, “Goodbye” and “Hello” respectively. I found redemption by reframing suicidal thoughts as a good thing and not a bad thing in that they are signals that something does need to die in one’s life; it’s just not the person that needs to do so. Essentially the book is about growth and inspiration. It also gave me a mission to do whatever I could to help reduce suicide.

While anticipating driving for Uber, an exciting idea dawned on me that gifted me with a sense of alacrity. I could carry copies of my book in the car and share my story and book with interested riders when appropriate. If they wanted to buy an autographed copy from me, I would be happy to oblige them. They could either pay cash or put the cost of the book on their Uber app as a tip. It would be fun to see how many copies I could sell and, in the process, possibly be helpful to people, as the book has been described as inspirational and helpful. Most importantly, selling the book to them would help in my mission to reduce suicide, and I felt that mission to be one of my most important goals in life.

I began driving in Greensboro, NC and noticed the diversity of riders while also appreciating the similarities. One of my first trips was a young, Black male who wanted me to drive him to his job at McDonald’s. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make his ride better, and the question seemed to perplex him. Since he had a quiet disposition, I decided to be quiet, and when I dropped him off, I said, “I hope you have a great day my friend.” His affect told me he appreciated my comment with him simply saying, “You too.” I noticed later that he tipped me $5.00 and was surprised a young man working for minimum wage at McDonald’s would be so generous. Then I realized that tip was his gratitude for the kindness and respect I showed him; I also realized I could practice the virtues that once led me to become a psychologist by driving Uber.

For the next four years, I pick up an incredible assortment of riders, mostly in Charlotte and in areas ranging from the dangerous hood to upper-crust districts with billion-dollar homes. Occasionally I have passengers who say they like to read, are interested in looking at my book and inspired by how I talked myself out of suicide in my “note” which became a memoir and source for personal empowerment. Many are impressed with my mission to reduce suicide, and the first chapter of this work is entitled “The Death of Suicide”. Essentially, I purport that suicide could be eliminated as a problem by applying three different strategies. A surprising number buy the book from me, and they receive an autographed copy.

A caveat is in order about my first book and mission to reduce suicide. While every author wants to sell their book, that is not the primary reason for which I mention it in “The Uber Psychologist”. I do so because reducing suicide continues to be my mission, and “A Suicide Note of Hope, More Than a Memoir” is one of my best vehicles for doing so. My hope is that you will not be sidetracked by my mentions of the riders who buy the book in this one. Selling it and advancing my mission, though, was, admittedly, one of the most salient initial reasons I had for driving for Uber.

Chapter two is entitled “Riders, Customers and Robust Experiences, and descriptions of experiences with 74 are included. As one might expect, the experiences are a panoply of our culture as well as other countries, ranging from a suicidal co-ed who buys my book to a federal judge to a topless dancer to a writer for The Atlantic to a professional basketball player and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Truly I feel blessed and grateful to have personal connections that are meaningful, even if for a brief moment in time. In addition to riders, I include material about tragedies from 2019, including how aspects of COVID-19 impacted the Uber experience, as well as the murdering of George Floyd. I had never seen a video so horrible or witnessed a crime so heinous and I felt disgusted an officer in blue, who was supposed to serve and protect the public, would appear so arrogant while murdering an innocent Black man. I finally understood the Black Lives Matter movement was in opposition to the inordinate police violence inflicted on Black men and women. I began wearing a shirt, “I Can’t Breathe” which most of my Black riders appreciated.

In addition to the Chauvin horror, our country was further divided by the 45th occupant of The White House, who was a malignant narcissist and a pathological liar with delusional disorder. He was solely responsible for thousands of deaths from COVID as well as The Big Lie and the insurrection on January 6. It is my intention that the reader will have a “take away” for each rider, ranging from interesting to heartfelt to humorous to meaningful.

The pervasive hatred, including my own, reminded me of a term, Transcendental Love, I came up with some years ago, and Chapter 3 is about that. It is similar to Christian love, or agape, in that it involves loving all human beings regardless of their trespasses, flaws, and differences. Transcendental Love, which means going beyond the mundane to love all sentient beings, is different than Christian love in that there is no need to believe in a deity to practice it. Agnostics, Atheists, Pantheists, Buddhists, and all others who do not believe in a deity can practice Transcendental Love, and the chapter details how to do so. My decision to include it is based on the hope that love will override hate if it is shared, discussed, and practiced enough. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and harnessing it more effectively might be the solution to most of our global problems.

Chapter 4 is entitled “Meditations and Clinical Hypnosis”, and if I were to say there was one skill or practice that has empowered me to live an exceedingly difficult life since the age of 19, it would be meditation. It has helped me overcome depression, manage anxiety, get through college and graduate school, survive the stress intrinsic to the professional life of a psychologist and has helped me to deal with the ups and downs of driving Uber for almost six years. While I have practiced different forms, in recent years I have practiced Mindfulness Meditation and feel Mindfulness has become a way of living. In addition to meditation, I have been fortunate to learn the skill of clinical hypnosis and describe a simple, safe self-hypnosis and illustrate a hypnotic process I developed for empowerment called PRACTICE, an acronym for Pacing, Relaxation, Assertiveness, Confidence, Thinking Rationally, Imagery, Comic Relief, and Empathy. Both meditation and hypnosis facilitate a state of consciousness, and I like to say “Take care of your mind, and it will take care of you.” It’s my hope that readers will benefit on several levels from this chapter, primarily by learning about and practicing meditation and hypnosis.

Uber requires drivers to put their license plates on the right side of their windshields, and mine reads STOIC, which sparks reactions from some riders. I tell them I first learned about Stoicism from Dr. Albert Ellis, one of the greatest psychologists of the last century and the founder of Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy, a version of which is Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Ellis liked to quote Epictetus, a Stoic, who lived from 50 AD-135 AD and said, “Men are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them.” Essentially, the Stoics said our feelings are not caused as much by external events and other people as by our own thinking about them. To those riders who seem interested, I share another quote by the Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, who said, “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” Knowing our thoughts cause our feelings and behavior is exceptionally empowering because it puts us in control, in the driver’s seat, of our own life. A small, but significant number of riders seem to appreciate my descriptions of Stoicism. Many are also piqued upon hearing Susan Fowler, who wrote Whistle Blower: My Journey to Silicon Valley and Fight for Justice at Uber is an avid Stoic as it helped her fight harassment made towards her at Uber.

Along the lines of Stoicism, some riders like a quote I share with them from my first book, “I live for my philosophy as my philosophy helps me to live.” In that regard, I delve more deeply into Stoicism in chapter 5, “Stoic Learnings”, in which I review Albert Ellis and his REBT before launching into appraisals and reviews of four different books by Stoic authors: Sharon Lebell, William Irvine, Donald Robertson, and Massimo Pigliucci. I find that the most salient feature that runs through these works is the enlightening perspective that while we do not have control over the external world, despite our futile attempts to do so, we do have control over our virtues and how we decide to implement them in our daily lives. It is the practice of virtues, both because they are intrinsically moral and beneficial that helps us to be happy.

Chapter 6, “Stoic Talk” is a term I’ve invented to apply to a counseling approach I plan to do by Zoom based on the Stoic philosophy, elements of REBT, and especially on the application of virtues, both to solve psychological problems and to enhance our happiness. In addition to the four Stoic Cardinal Virtues of wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance, I list 46 more virtues with corresponding maxims that I call Granite Statements, because they are rock solid. I describe how these virtues can be applied to everyday problems and experiences.

Chapter 7, “A Stoic Leader”, focuses on how a leader, whether it be a president, senator, governor, mayor or any other kind of leader would practice Stoicism in their roles. It begins by describing how the ideas and messages of three books would be embraced and advanced by the Stoic leader, including: A Mindful Nation by Congressman Tim Ryan, His Truth Is Marching On, John Lewis and The Power of Hope by Jon Meacham, and Think Again, The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know by Adam Grant. While the Stoic Leader doesn’t have control over external conditions, she realizes she does have control over her virtues of wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance, or moderation. These virtues can be utilized with particular problems of society, with discussion about how the Leader would do so with the death penalty, the minimum wage, the global warming and the climate crisis, homelessness, police reform, and voting rights. A comment is also made about how to better help veterans.

Reflecting on my friendship with Mick, beginning at an orphanage in 1965, who recommended I try driving for Uber, it seems obvious that it is a story in itself, and, hence, chapter 8 is entitled “My Friend Mick”. He befriended me at age 11, just after my father died, and as I had no mother, brothers, or sisters, I needed that friendship. Mick recommended I try out for the swim team at that time, and as I was suffering depression from the loss of my father, swimming was exactly what I needed; competitive swimming became a lifetime change for me. I mention Mick’s inadvertent role in my decision to run away from the orphanage, which was also a life-changer, and go on to describe his role in helping me financially during times of need. In later years, he influenced me to explore Mindfulness Meditation by recommending a book, Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and this provided a landmark event in my life. In 2016, Mick suggested I begin driving for Uber, and, of course, this became a tremendous experience for me, having completed more than 11,000 trips as of this writing and having sold 328 books and still counting. When I disclosed to him that I weighed 196, with his reply of “chubby”, he also recommended I try Intermittent Fasting. After losing 40 pounds in four months, I became able to jog again, not having done it for ten years due to plantar fasciitis.

Mick’s generosity, friendship, and altruism have been indispensable in my life, and he has given me the opportunity to practice gratitude. Unfortunately, our personality characteristics prompted a set-to, and in the aftermath of his recommendation of IF, Mick said he wanted to distance himself. While I chose to practice acceptance of his decision and tolerance for his behavior, I also used Stoicism to practice virtues of understanding and forgiveness, gratitude for all he has done over the course of a lifetime, and love for him as he has been like a brother.

In chapter 9, “Return from Exile”, I begin by explaining my attempt to exact justice, one of the four Stoic Cardinal Virtues, with Uber, only to realize their decisions were out of my control, and, therefore, a Preferred Indifferent, the Stoic term for external events that are out of our control. I had not driven riders for two months, and, after Uber’s “background check” as well as insufficient business due to COVID, it was time to start driving again. While I also realized COVID was out of my control, I knew I could use the virtues of courage and reason by wearing a mask, insisting my riders do so and also by getting fully vaccinated. I write about 12 more riders including an oncologist from Nigeria, a young Black man who refuses to wear a mask, a Trump supporter who derogates Joe Biden, a discontented truck driver who I eventually cheer up and who buys my book, a transgender woman, a professional wrestler, a professional basketball player and a woman who only has two months to live. Amazingly, this woman pings me for another ride four months later. I have the opportunity to practice my virtues with all of these riders, including acceptance and tolerance, understanding and kindness, appreciation, honesty, compassion and gratitude. In my processing, I conclude: “Every problem is an opportunity to practice your virtues.”

Chapter1

The Death of Suicide

“But in the end, one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”

Albert Camus

“Men are disturbed, not by things but by the views they take of them.”

Epictetus

I self-published A Suicide Note of Hope, More Than a Memoir in 2016, and it is so titled because I begin writing a suicide note but then talk myself out of it, making the book inspirational and often cliff-hanging. The book is based on true events, with the first chapter, “Goodbye”, detailing being fired at a job as a psychologist as the precipitator to my despair and suicidal ideation. Rather than completing suicide, I write about my tragic childhood which was chaotic albeit adventurous.

Throughout the book I write about my resilience that helped me survive traumas before writing about skills that helped me personally, such as meditation, assertiveness, and cognitive skills and that eventually helped me as a psychologist. I also write my achievements as a marathon runner and triathlete and how endurance athletics helped me combat depression. At the beginning of each chapter I note that I feel less suicidal. I reframe suicidal thoughts as a good thing and not a bad thing in that they are signals that something does need to die in one’s life; it’s just not the person who needs to do so. This reframe could have a profound benefit for people as it can help them to grow and make invaluable life transformations.

The tenth and final chapter is titled “Hello” and together with the first, provide bookends, telling a transformational change that begins with hopelessness and ends in happiness. I sell it to friends and acquaintances, Uber riders, get it in bookstores and libraries, and sell on Amazon where it received 49 five stars out of the first 49 ratings. I am happy the number of sales surpasses the average number of sales for a first-time author. I am especially pleased to receive an excellent review from the previous mayor of Charlotte, Jennifer Roberts and am surprised the book is doing better than expected.

I have always wanted to help people because without the help of a few people, I would never have lived passed the age of 18. I realize A Suicide Note of Hope is about much more than me, and I have decided to make it my mission to help reduce suicide. In so doing, I have learned that it is a tall order.

Suicide is a taboo subject in most of western civilization, and most people feel too ashamed to talk about their suicidal thoughts because of the taboo. Additionally, most other people feel too uncomfortable to listen to suicidal people and become critical, judgmental, or avoidant, which only exacerbates the alienation of the sufferer. When people don’t talk about it, they feel more worthless and depressed and are more likely to suicide. As a consequence, the taboo against suicide, ironically, makes it more likely for people to commit it.

As an aside, I should note the phrase “commit suicide” is considered a misnomer by the American Association of Suicidology because it implies something morally wrong or criminal. People commit sins and commit crimes. Consequently, when someone feels suicidal, they are likely to feel more suicidal due to the connotation of “commit”. If I happen to use the term, it is because it is part of the common vernacular, and it should be kept in mind that I consider the Association to be correct in their admonition.

I became aware that in writing my book I model how it is not only acceptable but healthier to talk about suicidal feelings. After all, I tell the whole world I feel suicidal, without shame, and explain the reasons for it, sometimes in deep detail. Hopefully, by reading it more people will feel better able to express their suicidal feelings, and more people will feel comfortable listening to them. I have had many people say that if I could help save one life, it would be worth it, and I hope I have helped more than one person.

I get the idea that it could be immensely helpful for folks to have a resource at their immediate disposal for times of despair when they feel like ending it all. It would be ideal if they could conveniently carry something in their wallets or purses that they could read whenever necessary. I have cards made with “Life Reminders” at the top and on the front and back have these statements printed:

“Suicidal thoughts are signals that something in one’s life does need to die. It’s just not you. Explore what needs to die.”

“I can accept this anxiety and I can tolerate this pain.”

“Hope and help are just around the corner.”

“By ending your life you will not be able to experience the relief you are seeking. You can find relief from your pain in this life.”

“There is another option you haven’t discovered yet. Always more than one option.”

“Find someone who can listen.” 800-273-talk (8255)

“Find someone to teach you self-soothing techniques.”

“Do not listen to anyone who judges you or says you shouldn’t feel this way. You feel this way for a reason.”

I feel the energy to embark on my mission to help reduce suicide and post the cards on Facebook where a psychologist from Washington DC describes what I am doing as “groundbreaking”. It seems the reframe of suicidal thoughts as being a good thing and not a bad thing in that they are signals that something in one’s life does need to die could be lifesaving in itself. In that sense, suicidal thoughts are gifts for transformation.

As an example of what may need to die in one’s life, I cite our clinging to someone or something that has been lost. When a husband feels the loss of his wife because of a divorce, he might think, “I cannot go on without her. This is so terrible I must end my life.” When a wife feels the loss of a husband due to his death, she might think similarly. In these instances, they are clinging to what has been lost, and it is the clinging that needs to die. It would be healthier to continue a relationship in their hearts and minds with the person who has been lost, but it is the clinging that is unhealthy, desperate, and the cause of suffering. With the death of the clinging, a transformation, a new life, can be born.

Essentially, there are three kernels in my first book that could help eliminate suicide as a problem. First, as stated, the reframe of suicidal thoughts as good and not bad could facilitate a transformation and enhance happiness. Two, eliminating the taboo aspect could prevent the shame many people feeling suicidal have and thereby enable them to talk about it. The third kernel includes the acceptability of discussing suicide with the community in general and would need to be addressed on a macrocosmic level by teaching people how to listen to and respond nonjudgmentally, and with compassion to those in despair. The author and professor, G. Warlock Vance stated he loved the title “The Death of Suicide” and recommended I use it as the title of my next book, as it connoted my mission to eliminate suicide; at least it’s the title of this first chapter.

Chapter2

Riders, Customers and Robust Experiences

“We all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun.”

John Lennon

“Ebony and Ivory, live together in perfect harmony… why don’t we?” Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder

My riders have varied incredibly between race, nationality, geographic location, and socioeconomic strata, providing me with a breadth of experience one might only achieve by visiting a multitude of cultures. I often make racial and national references because of an interest in the similarities and differences and not because of any personal prejudices. The enumeration of riders is simply for organization and identity.

Rider 1—This was a young, Black female I picked up close to UNC-Charlotte. As she said she was a Psychology major, I shared my book, “A Suicide Note of Hope” with her. Since the ride was short, she scanned the book briefly before saying she wanted to buy it from me which she did by putting the cost of the book on Uber as a tip. As she was getting out of the car, she said, “Just before you picked me up I was having suicidal thoughts.” Realizing how I may have touched her life, a tear came to my eye. Selling the book was unimportant.

Rider 2—Sharing with this young, White female during a fifteen minute ride that I have been a psychologist, she disclosed that she has been struggling with low self-esteem. I tell her the importance of loving oneself no matter what and having unconditional self-acceptance and what I sometimes say to the “little boy” inside me. I explain we all have an inner child that requires love, acceptance, and nurturance, and she says she understands. I tell her I say to the child, “I am so sorry if I have ever hurt you. I love you and will always love you, take care of and protect you. You have a place in this world, and I will always be there with you.” The young lady commented how much I helped her in ten minutes and added it was more than anyone had helped her in her life. Our connection was what I call “a felt experience”, and it was for both of us.

Rider 3—A middle-aged Black man was going to a neighborhood in uptown Charlotte but when we arrived at the address in the gps, he said he wanted to change the destination. When he had trouble choosing the address in the area that was a bit shady, I told him I needed to end the ride asap. After appearing irritated, he got out of the car, slamming the door. Later I saw an orange capsule he had left in the back seat and realized I could be driving drug dealers. I was glad I had been assertive about ending the ride and that I was safe.

Rider 4—I picked up a young, Black UNC-Charlotte student on campus, and she was desperate to get to the train station by 5: pm so that she could get home to High Point for her mother’s birthday. I told her I would take a few shortcuts and drive as fast as safely possible but that it would still be cutting it close. I asked the reason she didn’t get an Uber to drive her to High Point, and she said a train was cheaper. She was noticeably distressed she might miss the train so I offered her a deal that if she didn’t catch the train, I would drive her to High Point for the cost of the train. She became ecstatic, and I exclaimed, “There will be no missing a mother’s birthday because of a train getting away.” She smiled for the first time as she was getting out of the car as it appeared the train was still there. I was happy the mother would have a happy birthday, and the young lady left me a generous tip.

Rider 5—A Chinese woman got in the car and was very quiet. It dawned on me she didn’t speak English. I found some Chinese music with lyrics on Spotify and played it for her. Her joy radiated and let me know of her appreciation. She expressed her gratitude with a ten dollar tip, and I realized I was getting the opportunity to practice kindness and compassion, which I enjoyed as a psychologist, by driving Uber.

Rider 6—A Pakistani woman wearing a burka seemed very cold and unfriendly, just staring out the window and not responding to my greeting. I nearly always greet riders by saying, “Hello, how are you? How has your day been?” I told Spotify to play “beautiful Pakistani music”, and she smiled and kept that smile for the remainder of the ride. I was reminded of when I once wrote, “Music is God’s sister, visiting the earth for an eternal moment.”

Rider 7—A muscular man told me he coached professional tennis in Australia. Since Trump had damaged our country’s reputation and standing in the world, I asked him about his and Australia’s feelings about the U.S. He told me Australia was shocked to learn about Trump being elected, and we engaged in a discussion about what we can do about it. We both agreed wholeheartedly that the best way to change the world is by beginning to change ourselves. We also agreed the best way to change ourselves is to cultivate more love and compassion. As I dropped the kind bloke off at a shopping mall, I felt a bit happier.

Rider 8—Feeling a bit anxious about the seedy motel, I drove up to the room of a middle-aged Black woman in the most secluded part of the motel. Three sketchy looking guys were hanging outside the rider’s room, and my anxiety increased as I waited patiently for the woman who was taking longer than I would have preferred. During our ten minute ride to the bus station, the woman seemed a bit fearful. When we finally arrived at the destination, she thanked me for “rescuing” her. I asked what she meant, and she replied she was hoping to get away before her husband returned because he was mean. I mused about how many lives I might be saving by driving Uber without even knowing about it.

Rider 9—I picked up a young man from Jamaica who spoke broken English. I told Spotify to play Bob Marley, and the reggae sparked a joyful reaction in the gentleman who began singing along with it. He smiled and sang for the duration of the ride, providing me with a sense of enjoyment. At times like those, I felt like Santa Claus. I realized again that driving Uber was an opportunity to practice kindness, and how one of my favorite quotes is by the Dalai Lama: “My religion is kindness.” I realize I may repeat kindness in this book, and it’s not a bad mantra, is it?

Rider 10—This was a middle-aged, White woman who I picked up on a street named after a Stoic philosopher, Seneca, and I referred to my license plate which reads “STOIC”. When I connected Stoicism to psychology and how I have been a psychologist for 35 years, she told me her adult son, who has been emotionally disturbed for his entire life, recently recalled sexual abuse that happened to him when he was six years-old with the help of brain-mapping. She said that while he is making progress now, he had been suicidal during many periods of his life. I shared my book with her, and she immediately wanted to buy it. The ride only lasted eight minutes, and I was amazed at how much emotional connection took place in that short time. I felt hopeful my book might be of some help.

Rider 11—While driving in uptown Charlotte in heavy traffic, I picked up a middle-aged Black man who was irritated because I stopped about ten yards in front of him, so he had to walk a few steps to get in the car. He seemed to take it personally when the stop was actually due to tight traffic. I asked how his day was going, and he said he was not doing well. I then asked if I could help to make it better to which he asked what I was “about”. I explained I had been a psychologist for 35 years, enjoyed helping people, and he began ranting, “What’s the psychology about in a country where it’s run by terrorists and I’m an Indian and I don’t have a chance…” I reasoned to him (a mistake) that I try to be Patriotic despite our nation’s flaws, and he hostilely asked why I was patriotic. I said my father fought in WWII and was a hero and expected him to honor that fact and become a bit more reasonable (another mistake). Instead, he asked, “Was he a hero or a terrorist?” I realized then that in addition to being very angry, this gentleman was exceedingly paranoid. I said I was not going to answer that and was thankful his drop off was less than a mile. I thought of saying “Give my best to the inmates!” but resisted the urge. I felt relieved he was out of my car but compassion that he was suffering so much. One could only imagine the causes and conditions that gave rise to his inner turmoil.

Rider 12—Occasionally Blacks will be rude, and even hostile to me for no apparent reason, and I try to remember that they feel that way to an older, White male for certain reasons. I would too if I were in their shoes. I picked up a Black man and his son at the corner of Eastside and Wellon and when I said the gps was giving me trouble, the man angrily said, “Just go up to the Plaza and make a left!” I don’t have to drive people who are rude to me according to Uber’s Community Guidelines, but since it was a short ride, I drove them. After dropping them off, I noticed my rating dropped from a 4.88 to a 4.87. It was frustrating to me, especially because I support racial equality.

Rider 13—I stopped in an uptown neighborhood and picked up a young, Black man who said that because it was the Fourth of July he was still drunk. He told me I was to take him to his job but asked me to take him to a convenience store first where he got out and briefly went into the store. While waiting for him in this shady area, another guy came up to my car and begged for money; I told him I was broke. The rider got back in the car, and the gps took me to a side street with a dead end. It was only one short block, and there were numerous guys hanging out in the street. As I dropped off the rider, a car in back of me turned horizontally, blocking me from driving. I couldn’t go forward or backward so I put my car in reverse. I started backing up as though I would run into their car, and it suddenly turned a bit, allowing me to escape. I realized I probably have become “that crazy white dude!” I’m proud. I also wonder what causes and conditions happened to them in their lives that they would frighten and harass me in such a manner.

Rider 14—I felt certain who this rider was, but I got deactivated from Uber because she reported that I was intoxicated. I was furious as I had not been drinking in more than twenty years. Getting deactivated meant a loss of money, and I wouldn’t be driving Uber if I could afford that. I went to a nearby town, Denton, and explained my situation to the police, requesting them to give me a breathalyzer. A policeman met me, and said that while he had given many breathalyzers, he had never been asked by a citizen to receive one. He told me I could use his name with Uber as evidence I had not been drinking that day. I informed Uber that they are accessories to a false accusation, a crime, if they give a rider a free trip when the rider falsely reports a driver is drunk. I learned that riders get a free trip if they report a driver is impaired in any way. Next, I asked a good friend, Stan, who has known me for more than twenty years, to write a letter that I can send to Uber acknowledging that I have not drunk any alcohol in the time he has known me. I just don’t drink due to liver complications. Stan shocked and disappointed me by saying, “I’ll think about it” to which I replied, “What is there to think about?” and that began the end of our supposed friendship. Fortunately, three other friends, Jayne, Craig, and Mick wrote excellent letters which I read to Uber Support over the phone and also sent in overnight mail to their home office in San Francisco. Realizing they were in error, Uber apologized for the misunderstanding, complimented me for being patient, compensated me financially and reactivated me so I could begin driving.