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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017
The Pitbull of Personal Development¯® Takes on Damn Near Everything! Larry Winget does not mince words, and in this latest addition to his straight-talking brand, one of the most iconic leaders of the personal development industry puts down in black and white, What's Wrong with Damn Near Everything! If you think the world is a mess, you already have a lot in common with Larry. The genius and power of his simple approach to turning around the parts of your life that need it has transformed people and businesses all over the world. Now, in this wildly entertaining and informative diagnosis and prescription, he narrows down the singular virus sickening the four most influential aspects in our lives: the people around us, our education system, business, and government. The illness rotting them all out can be blamed on people ignoring their core values. That's personal, and Larry goes there and then some, and that's why countless people have been converted into followers by watching him on television as he regularly appears on varied news programs and by buying enough of his books to put him on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists. His shocking opinions and belly-laughing honesty all come unfiltered. If he offends you--good! You're engaged and really thinking about what's important to you. This single resource enables you to: * Take real action to improve what's wrong with your business, family, and life. * Get advice you can understand from a non-stop powerhouse coach. What's Wrong with Damn Near Everything! tells you all the simple truths to troubleshooting everyday problems in life and business.
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CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
This Is Another Larry Winget Book
Preface
Chapter One: The Collapse of Core Values
What Are Core Values?
Finding Your Core Values
Why Have People Stopped Being Bothered?
Want to Know Why This Stuff Bothers You? It's Simple
Get Ready for Life to Be Much Easier for You!
A Test for Knowing Whether Something Is a Core Value
You Can Always Spot Someone's Core Values
Chapter Two: What's Wrong with People
From Today's News
People Cater to the Lowest Common Denominator
Let's Keep Digging into This
People Have Lowered Their Standards
People Are Self-Absorbed
People Either Can't, Don't, or Won't Manage Their Money
Why Most People Believe They Don't Have Money
Become Committed to Your Commitments
People Are Either Too Gullible or Too Skeptical
People Use Bad Grammar and Can't Spell
People Let Their Emotions Rule Their Lives
People Follow Their Dreams Instead of Going to Work
Starting Your Own Business Is Not a Dream, It's a Nightmare
Why Do Most Businesses Fail? Lack of Preparation
People Are Entitled
Entitlement Is the Enemy of Self-Reliance
The Government Is Feeding Entitlement Mentality
People Are Full of Excuses and Blame
People Are Dishonest and Lack Integrity
We Have Become Way Too Tolerant of Dishonesty
People Are Mean
Business Has Become Mean
People Are Lazy
People Are Disrespectful and Uncivil
Respect and Racism, Sexism, Ageism, Wealthism, and Homophobia
Respect Is Not Just about Respecting People
People Are Offended By Damn Near Everything!
Luckily Some People Are Speaking Up Against This Stupidity
People Allow Technology to Rule Their Lives
Chapter Three: What's Wrong with Business
Why Do Businesses Exist?
The Biggest Challenge Facing Business
Employees Must Constantly Add Value
Fiduciary Responsibility
Chapter Four: What's Wrong with Education
Parental Involvement
Failure Is an Option
Beyond School Systems
Chapter Five: What's Wrong with Our Government
Welcome to Helicopter America
Dear Government: Mind Your Own Business!
We Have Too Many Laws
Politics and Politicians
Chapter Six: The Big Question: Are We Able to Turn All This Around?
In Your Business
In Your Family
In Your Own Life
Are You Willing to Live By These Core Values?
You Can't Change the World
About the Author
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
Chapter 1
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What's Wrong With Damn Near Everything!
How the Collapse of Core Values is Destroying Us and How to Fix It
Larry Winget
Cover Design: Michael J. Freeland
Cover Image: Courtesy of Randall Bohl
Copyright © 2017 by Larry Winget. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.
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Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Names: Winget, Larry, author.Title: What’s wrong with damn near everything! : how the collapse of core values is destroying us and how to fix it / Larry Winget.Description: Hoboken : Wiley, 2017. |Identifiers: LCCN 2017010800 (print) | LCCN 2017033664 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119417040 (ePDF) | ISBN 9781119417071 (epub) | ISBN 9781119417026 (hardback)Subjects: LCSH: Social values. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Motivational. | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Careers / General.Classification: LCC HM681 (ebook) | LCC HM681 .W56 2017 (print) | DDC 303.3/72–dc23LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017010800
This Is Another Larry Winget Book
If you are a fan of my work or have read any of my six best-selling books, listened to or watched my speeches or online videos, or follow me on social media, then much of what I say in this book is not going to be new to you. When it comes to some of this stuff, I am a broken record. That's one of the reasons I am called The Pitbull of Personal Development®; I grab on and don't let go—just like a pitbull.
That's because what I talk about and write about comes from my core values, my experience, and my research. These things don't change much from week to week or even year to year. They don't even change too much over a lifetime—some, but not much—and that is why all of it shows up in all that I do and say and write. So, if you are a fan, you are going to see some familiar ideas. But you are going to see a lot of new stuff here, too. Grittier stuff. More “I can't believe he said that” stuff. At least I hope so. I didn't hold back on any of it.
On the other hand, if you are completely new to my work, you are going to find out pretty quickly that I have very strong opinions, I don't mince words, and I say exactly what I believe without apology. And you will disagree with me a lot. To that I say, “good.” If you disagree, then you are engaged. There is nothing better than becoming engaged by new and different ideas. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Even when you hate what I've said and end up hating me because I've said it, that's okay because you will have more clarity about what you believe by reading what I believe.
By the way, if you are one of those hypersensitive, smiley-face types who gets offended by blunt, straight talk that steps on your fragile little toes, you are in for a really rough ride.
Okay…giddy-up!
Preface
The first time I announced the title of this book to a group of people, there were a few who said, “Why do you have to be so negative? Why can't you write a book called, “What's right with darn near everything”? I laughed. That wouldn't be my style at all. Most importantly, it's not what's right that is our problem; it's what's wrong that we aren't doing a damn thing about that is our problem. In this book, I'm not going to spend much time on what's right, instead I'm going to spend my time talking about what's wrong, why it's wrong, and what we can do about it.
Face it: things are a mess. I bet you will find it hard to argue with that statement. Our government is a mess: it's too big, it costs too much, and for the most part, it's ineffective. You can top that off with the fact that people have completely lost confidence in it and the politicians who run it. Recent polling says that 68 percent of people believe we are headed in the wrong direction.
It's not just government; businesses are a mess, too. Many have forgotten that businesses exist to fill a need, solve a problem, serve their customers well, and be profitable while doing it. A strong work ethic in employees has become a thing of the past. Too many leaders confuse leadership with popularity.
Families are no exception, either. Too many parents are indulgent, overprotective, and don't communicate or teach morals, ethics, or values. They are raising narcissistic brats who have no respect for others or for themselves. And while the economy is a mess in our country, it's simply a reflection of the disastrous way we handle our own money as individuals and in our families. People spend money they don't have buying things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
Individuals blame instead of taking responsibility. They rationalize their behavior. They are personally offended by almost everything even when it has nothing to do with them. They demand things, believing they are entitled to them instead of earning them. We even have a huge segment of society that has moved back in with their parents instead of sucking it up and figuring out how to make it on their own. They put more thought and more money into their grande half-caf Mochachino Frappuccino Crapacino than they do their savings accounts. They distract themselves with social media instead of working. I could go on and on and on, and every one of you reading this could add 50 more statements that would be true about what a mess people have become.
Education might be the area where it is the worst. College campuses are now full of safe zones where grown men and women can run and hide to protect themselves from the hurtful words of others. And yes, 18 years old is grown. We have 18-year-old men and women dying while defending our country so I consider 18-year-olds grown. Colleges have become bastions of uber-liberal ideas that charge exorbitant amounts of money to nurture oversensitivity instead of challenging thinking and encouraging growth.
Some of us wake up every day and read or watch the news and barely recognize the world we live in. And some of us never read anything and only watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians or The Bachelor or other drivel and are totally clueless about the world we live in.
Is all of what I've said here a series of broad, sweeping generalizations? Of course! But that doesn't make the statements any less true. They don't apply to everyone but they apply to more than enough. I recognize there are exceptions to each of these points. Not all leaders, families, businesses, schools, or government officials are a mess. But those are the exception and not the rule. I hope you are one of the exceptions to every one of the statements I've made. However, whether you are the exception to these statements or whether you are the epitome of one of these statements, you are going to have to admit that I'm right: things are a mess!
To be very, very clear: I am not saying that nothing is going right. I am not ignoring or discounting all of the good in the world. I see it. I acknowledge it. I applaud it. But that is not what this book is about. This book is not about what is going right. This book is about what is going wrong and what we must do to fix it. I am a firm believer that it is impossible to fix a problem unless you recognize and identify your issue as a problem, then go to work to fix it.
And we are already making some efforts to fix these things. But I believe that for the most part, we are going about fixing things backward. We are working at fixing things from the outside in. That rarely works and it is typically a temporary fix at best. You almost always create long-term change when you fix things from the inside out. But that requires more time and energy and sweat than most people are willing to invest.
We are building walls around our country to keep the bad guys out. And while I think that is a fine idea, we have bad guys we have created right here that are doing us just as much harm simply because parents are teachers and society didn't take the time to do the work to teach people that valuing life and respecting others and not committing crimes is a better way to live.
We are also building walls around our personal beliefs, ideals, biases, and prejudices. We create safe zones to protect us from the harmful words of others, instead of teaching people to be strong enough to withstand harmful words and kind enough not to say harmful words. To make matters worse, we have redefined a harmful word to mean anything you don't agree with. And while I agree that our individual rights should be protected, it seems that we only want protection for our rights, not the rights of anyone who disagrees with us.
We don't allow kids to play tag, hide-and-seek, or other games—or in some cases even have outside recess because they might get hurt. Or worse, their feelings might get hurt. We have even gone so far in some cities as to pay criminals not to commit crimes. Again, this is just an external solution to an internal problem. How about letting kids know that you don't always get picked and when you play, sometimes you get hurt. How about teaching people not to be criminals instead of rewarding them for being a criminal.
Our outer world is collapsing and needs to be fixed, no doubt about it. But as the old saying goes, “As within, so without.” Our outer world is only a reflection of our inner world. Our outer world is a mess because we are a mess.
I do believe we are facing the collapse of society, but it won't be because of the government, the liberals, the conservatives, ISIS, foreign enemies, the economy, obesity, cigarettes, drugs, or any other external factor. Our society will collapse if we continue to let our core values collapse. We have to fix the issues I am going to discuss in this book. However, here is the problem:
People typically only take action to fix their problem when it's damn near too late.
My goal is that people read this book, realize how bad things are, and decide to take action to fix things before it's too late.
Chapter OneThe Collapse of Core Values
What Are Core Values?
When I want to figure out what something is, I often begin by figuring out what it isn't. That's how I determined the definition of what a core value is for this book.
In researching the definitions of core values, I discovered what others have expressed to be their core values. I looked at what various companies and organizations and individuals said their core values were. I saw lots of words like teamwork, passion, enthusiasm, punctuality, safety, fun, flexibility, ethics, love, creativity. These are all fine words, but none are core values.
These words might be principles for your life or business to practice. Some are simply ideals. Some are just nice things to say on your company website for your customers to read. But they are not core values by my definition.
Core values are different from traditional values. The idea of traditional values has been hijacked by various political and religious groups using those words to promote their particular beliefs. You won't find any of those things mentioned here. For me, core values run deeper.
So for more help on what a core value is, I went to some of the published definitions:
According to yourdictionary.com, the definition of core value is:
The core values are the guiding principles that dictate behavior and action. Core values can help people to know what is right from wrong; they can help companies to determine if they are on the right path and fulfilling their business goals; and they create an unwavering and unchanging guide.
According to BusinessDictionary.com, the definition of core value is:
A principle that guides an organization's internal conduct as well as its relationship with the external world.
On the website for the National Park Service, they answer the question, “What are core values?” with these words:
Core values are not descriptions of the work we do or the strategies we employ to accomplish our mission. The values underlie our work, how we interact with each other, and which strategies we employ to fulfill our mission. The core values are the basic elements of how we go about our work. They are the practices we use (or should be using) every day in everything we do.
I also like The Four-Way Test of Rotary International from rotary.org:
The Four-Way Test is a nonpartisan and nonsectarian ethical guide for Rotarians to use for their personal and professional relationships. The test has been translated into more than 100 languages, and Rotarians recite it at club meetings:
Of the things we think, say, or do
Is it the
truth
?
Is it
fair
to all concerned?
Will it build
goodwill
and
better friendships
?
Will it be
beneficial
to all concerned?”
These definitions are more closely aligned with my views. I especially like the idea that core values create unwavering and unchanging guides that determine everything we do.
I contend that most people haven't spent much time determining the unwavering, unchanging guides that direct everything they do. For the most part, neither have most businesses. Or most churches. Or most schools. Neither has society.
To be clear, I'm not talking about rules or regulations. And I'm not talking about laws. There is no shortage of rules, regulations, or laws and we are still in a mess. So, obviously, the fix to our problems is not more laws for society or rules and regulations for our businesses. It has to go deeper.
What are your core values? Have you ever given it much thought? Do you even know where to start?
Finding Your Core Values
Stuff bothers me. Sometimes, stuff bothers me a lot! As you read this book, that fact will become completely evident to you. But here is something I firmly believe:
It's not what bothers you that matters,
it's what has stopped bothering you.
I never want to reach the point that things stop bothering me. Too many have done that already. By the way, I completely understand that the made-up world is sometimes more attractive than the one we actually live in and that we all need an escape from time to time. I get it. But you can't fix the real problems of the real world when you stop paying attention or bury your head in the sand. And in this case, sand means five hours of television per day and nine hours of playing on your device (i.e. your phone, iPad, or laptop).
I care about things and want them to get better. Because of that, I consciously work at staying bothered, although it really doesn't take much work. I know that flies in the face of some of what many of you believe. If you like a world of nothing but positivity and your Facebook cover photo is a unicorn with a rainbow, then you are going to think, “How sad, Larry; you work at being bothered,” all while shaking your pretty little head and saying, “tsk, tsk.” Yes, I do work at staying bothered. Because when I stop being bothered by injustice, dishonesty, a lack of integrity, and by what is wrong in the world, I will stop bothering to try to make it better. I couldn't live with myself if I just stopped bothering to make things better.
Yet, that seems to be what has happened. People aren't much bothered and they aren't bothering to fix the few things that are bothering them. Parents have stopped bothering to teach their kids about life and money and respect and how to be self-sufficient. Managers have stopped bothering to make sure employees come in on time. They have stopped being bothered by missed commitments and upset customers. The government has stopped bothering with creating jobs and expecting people to take care of themselves because it's easier to just write them a check not to work rather than going to the trouble of creating jobs so they can go to work. Overall, people and institutions have stopped being bothered with the mess we are in except to complain about it.
What I hear from most folks is a whole lot of “oh well” when what I really would love to hear is “oh hell no!”
Why Have People Stopped Being Bothered?
Maybe it's because they feel things are so bad that they're too far gone to fix.
Maybe it's because they don't know where to start.
Maybe it's because they don't know what to do to fix what's wrong.
Maybe it's because they never gave much thought to what was causing the problem so they just can't comprehend how all this could happen.
Maybe they have resigned themselves to the idea that the world is going down the tubes anyway, so nothing they do is going to make any difference. After all, how much difference can one person really make in the big scheme of things?
Maybe it's because they got lured into the idea that things aren't as bad as the Pollyanna liberal media or the mean-spirited conservative media (take your pick) has made it out to be. (I actually believe it is much worse than any of the media sources have made it out to be.)
Maybe it's because they honestly don't care about what happens. There really are people who don't care. They live in their own little world and as long as it doesn't affect them personally, they don't care what's going on. I hear these excuses all the time: “I don't have any money in the stock market, so I don't care.” “I don't vote so it doesn't matter to me who the president is.” “I'm old and not going to be around much longer, so I don't care what happens to the planet.”
Maybe it's because they are lazy. Way too many recognize the problem and know they could contribute to fixing it but are just too lazy to put out any effort to turn things around.
Maybe it's because they are afraid to speak up. Sadly, too many people just won't speak up for fear of being ridiculed, made fun of, or put down in some way. Speaking up and expressing their opinion might offend someone and they certainly don't want to do that.
And maybe, just maybe, it's that they think we are headed in the right direction.
This last group scares me the most. And there are plenty of people in this category. I hear from them every day. They tell me that my thoughts on personal responsibility and doing the right thing and being
