You've Got To Be Kidding! E-Book

Nan DeMars

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 497

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2011

Beschreibung

What to do when you're caught in the middle of an ethical dilemma at work In today's super-stressed workplace, an ethical dilemma can come at you when you least expect it. Here's how to do the right thing without losing your integrity?or your job. You've GOT To Be Kidding will help you create an ethics-based workplace that's a joy to work in. This isn't the usual top-down, executive-only manual, but an approach to workplace ethics that's as relevant and accessible to employees as it is to managers and executives. From renowned workplace educator and author of You Want Me To Do What?, this book is filled with recognizable examples ripped from today's headlines that put ethical principles in concrete terms. * Filled with recognizable examples that put ethical principles in concrete terms * Covers such topics as topics as loyalty, confidentiality, security, office romance, harassment, social networking at work, harassment, workplace bullying, lying for your boss, and even Internet mischief * A practical manual for assessing, discussing, and resolving ethical dilemmas in the workplace With employees at all levels being held more accountable than ever before, You've GOT To Be Kidding gives businesses of all types and sizes a winning set of principles and practices to do business at the highest ethical level and serves as a guide for anyone who wants to do the right thing without losing their integrity or their job.

Leseprobe

Contents

Cover

Endorsement

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Preface

Introduction: Why Do We Care about Ethics in the Workplace?

Admins Have Always Been in the Middle of the Action

Everyone Now “Gets It!”

I’m Optimistic

Part I: Take Care of Yourself

Chapter 1: When Morals Become Ethics

A Few Definitions

What Do You Think?

Are There Morals We All Agree Upon?

Growing Up Ethical

But Aren’t Laws Sufficient?

We Grow Ethically as We Mature (Thank Heaven)

We All Have Regrets

Should We Lower Our Standards to Make Our Lives Easier?

Chapter 2: The Age of Accountability

Welcome to the Age of Accountability!

New Ethics Expectations and Rules for Employees

Thank You, Enron—You Woke Us Up

What Would You Do? How Would You Decide?

Take Care of Yourself

Take Care of Your Company and Its Customers

Take Care of Your Supervisor

Consequences of Not Following Your Ethical Priority Compass

A Few Horror Stories

Taking the Fall

Embracing Accountability Is a Two-Way Street Today

The “Puffed with Importance” Conversation

Nan DeMars’s Ethics Dilemma Audit

Chapter 3: The Twin Faces of Loyalty

The Dark Side of Loyalty

New Expectations

The Martha Stewart Trial

The “Old Loyalty” Is No Longer Relevant

“Good” versus “Bad” Loyalty

Team Loyalty Comes in Good and Bad Flavors, Too

Resolving Team Loyalty Dilemmas

“Torn” Loyalties with Bosses

Loyalty Can Be Seductive

Loyalty Is Almost Always Personal

The New Loyalty Means Being Committed to Doing the Right Thing

Managers’ Alert: Start Talking!

No More Eyes Wide Shut

Talking Points to Help Understand the New Loyalty: For Managers and Employees

Chapter 4: True Myths? It Depends!

Myth 1: “It Isn’t My Job to Police My Boss and/or Coworkers”

Myth 2: “Women Are More Ethical than Men; They Are More Moral and More Principled”

Myth 3: “What Others Do Is None of My Concern”

Myth 4: “I’m the Only One Who Sees What’s Going On, and I’m the Only One Who Cares”

Myth 5: “I Can Trust My Boss to Always Be Fair (or Unfair)”

Myth 6: “I Have to Do What I’m Told to Keep My Job”

Myth 7: “I Really Made a Bad Mistake; I’m a Bad Person”

Myth 8: “A Person Cannot Be Talked into Acting with Greater Moral Courage”

Myth 9: “You Are Born with Your Morality; You Believe What You Believe, and, By Golly, You Will Cling to It throughout Your Life”

Myth 10: “People Instinctively Do the Right Thing When Confronted with an Ethical Dilemma”

Chapter 5: Mea Culpa—I Screwed Up!

Step 1: Assess the Problem

Step 2: Acknowledge Your Mistake

Step 3: Forgive Yourself, and Then Apologize to Whomever You Need To

Step 4: Do What You Need to Do So This Doesn’t Happen Again

Step 5: Finally, Maintain a Positive Attitude

Part II: Take Care of Your Organization

Chapter 6: Zip It!

Secrets Are in Your DNA

Nan DeMars’s Up Close and Personal Confidentiality Audit with Your Manager

What’s the Big Deal about Confidentiality? Is My Company Hiding Information It Shouldn’t Be?

But Doesn’t the Public Have the Right to Know about Certain Information?

Respect Your Boss’s Personal Privacy As Well

More Unwritten Rules “Everyone Should Just Know”

No Profession Is Immune to Confidentiality Defaults

Where Do the Threats to Confidentiality Come From?

Loyalty Complicates Confidentiality Dilemmas

Inquiring Minds Do Not Have to Know

Is Firing Too Harsh?

These Two Admins Knocked the Socks off Their Bosses

The Best Defense Is a Strong Offense

Chapter 7: Security Is Your Problem (Like It or Not)!

Thinking about Security Differently

Protecting the Company’s Assets

Don’t Try to Do This Alone

Whom Are You Most Worried About?

Suggestions for Countermeasures from Your Peers

Nan’s Warning

What Will Become of Us?

Chapter 8: Gossip Over the Cubicle Fence

All Sorts of Tongues Are Wagging

Why Do We Gossip?

What’s So Bad about Gossip in the Office?

What Can the Company Do?

What Can One Employee Do?

Chapter 9: Cupid in the Cubicle

Employers Are Confused as Well

Why Is Workplace Romance on the Upswing?

Why Do Companies Discourage Workplace Romance?

The Big Trouble: Employees Reporting to Each Other

Dangers of the Triple R

The “David Letterman Risk”

Equal Treatment Today

Employee Cautions

Viva Romance!

Cupid Cops and Love Contracts

The Potential “Hostile Environment” Claim

Managers’ Alert

A Word on Adulterous Workplace Romances

Major Sea Changes

Workplace Romance: The Final Verdict?

Chapter 10: Party Up—or Party Down?

Chapter 11: Trick or Treat

The Pit-of-the-Stomach Rule

Establishing and Documenting Company Guidelines

Nan DeMars’s Vendor Ethics Audit

Chapter 12: Copyright or Copy Wrong?

Copyright Basics

Intellectual Property Law Basics

Requesting Permission

Cubicle Copyright Myths

Copyright Offline

When You Don’t Need Permission

Finally, Some Good News

Err on the Safe Side

Chapter 13: To Blow or Not to Blow

Lessons from Other Whistle-Blowers

Protection for Whistle-Blowers Is Sketchy

Doing the Right Thing for the Right Reasons

Final Considerations: The Big Picture

Part III: Take Care of Your Supervisor

Chapter 14: The Trouble with the Boss—Is the Boss!

That Was Then; This Is What Happens Now

Ethical Dilemmas with Your Boss

The Unique Boss/Assistant Relationship Is Unique to Its Own

Power versus Ethics

Only You Can Launch the Ethical Conversation

Truth-Telling Discussions Are Not Easy

The Trouble with Talking to Your Boss

Why Do They Do It?

Nan DeMars’s 12-Step Program to Keep Your Boss Ethical

How to Keep Your Job and Your Relationship with Your Boss

Now, a Few Tips about Your Style

Sara’s Story

Summary

Chapter 15: The Dog Ate My Laptop

Let’s Face It: A Lie by Any Other Name Is Still a Lie!

So What If I Lie? Does It Really Matter?

Is It Always Morally Wrong to Lie?

Is a Lie Ever Justified?

Little White Lies

Serious Lies

“White Lies” via the Telephone

What Do I Do If I Am Asked to Lie?

Can Lies Ever Be Excused?

How Do I Avoid Being Trapped by Lies?

Aren’t I Legally Protected If I Lie for My Boss at His Request?

The Military Gets It Right

What about Poor Bob, Whose Boss Is Lying at the Opening of This Chapter?

“Just the Facts, Ma’am”

Can I Slide around It?

Lies Will Always Be Ethically Wrong

Chapter 16: The XXX Files

Is Porn at Work Really a Problem?

A Word about Child Pornography

Chapter 17: Abuse in the Workplace

We’re Still Misbehavin’

Let’s Hear It for Common Sense—and Common Courtesy

Is It Abuse or Harassment or Bullying or Something Else?

The “Job-Affecting” Standard

The Costs of Harassment

Are You Being Harassed, Abused, or Bullied?

Nan DeMars’s Workplace Harassment Audit

What Can You Do before You Call the Lawyers?

How to Get Harassment to Stop

The Abusive Boss Owns the Company

Two Administrators Hit Their Abusive Bosses Head-On

The Abusive Coworker

Tips in Action

Employers Step Up—Most of the Time

Can You Use a Company Hotline?

Raising the Bar

Are We Going Too Far?

Part IV: You Can Keep Your Integrity and Your Job

Chapter 18: Raises, Not Roses!

The Expanded Role

Job Description or Job Conscription?

Your “Little White Line”

Personal Assistants

The Trials of the “Office Wife”

How Much Personal Service Is Too Much?

Getting Off the Slippery Slope

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

Respect Is Always the Trump Card

Chapter 19: The Ethics of Job Hunting

Be Careful

Be Confidential

Be Considerate

Do I Have to Lie about Being Fired?

It’s Never Easy

Chapter 20: Start Talking!

Talk before You Walk

Informal Ethics Discussions Can Prevent Ethical Dilemmas

Informal Ethics Discussions Can Resolve Ethical Dilemmas

Beginning the Ethics Discussion

The “What Do We Do Now” Conversations

What If the Discussion Does Not Resolve the Dilemma?

How to Up the Ante

Your Challenge

Chapter 21: Doing the Right Thing Never Looked So Right!

The Ethical Office Is Here

Good News: It’s Working!

Who Are the Bad Guys?

Bobby Jones, Role Model

You Are Who You Are

What’s the Price of My Personal Integrity?

Summary: There Are Many Keys to the Ethical Office

The Benefits

The Ethical Office at a Glance

Yes, You Can!

Back to Bobby Jones

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Index

Praise for You’ve Got to Be Kidding!

“With Ponzi schemes cropping up everywhere, social media exploding around us, and confidentiality breaches on the front page news, You’ve Got to Be Kidding! is a must read for everyone in a business setting—from mail clerk to CEO. From my perspective as an employment practices lawyer, this book is a how-to for workplace ethics. Nan DeMars spells out your accountability at every work level and recharges your inner compass. Read it and use it as a reference source.”

—Stacey A. DeKalb, Attorney-at-Law, Lommen, Abdo, Cole, King & Stageberg, PA

“Nan’s new book is a timely, well-thought-out, experience-based message on shoring up ethical performance in the workplace. She is an impressive, values-based practitioner—making a positive difference to many audiences.”

—Dr. Robert MacGregor, Author of Leadership: A Team SportSurrounded by Saints and CEOs; Founder of Center for Corporate Responsibility, University of St. Thomas

“You’ve Got to Be Kidding! is a thought-provoking guide to ethics in the workplace, which is clear, interesting, and often humorous. Every supervisor, employer, manager, politician, military officer, and employee will learn valuable lessons from Nan, who has been in the trenches and speaks from experience.”

—General Dennis Schulstad, Retired Air Force Brigadier

“You’ve Got to Be Kidding! nails what the age of accountability means to those on the front lines of business, academia, and government alike. This book is a virtual ‘one-stop shop’ for ideas and answers to real-world ethical challenges seen in every workplace. This book is highly recommended for anyone in the business world.”

—Christopher Bauer, PhD, HSP, CFS; Author of Better Ethics NOW: How toAvoid the Ethics Disaster You NeverSaw Coming

“BAM—Nan DeMars has done it again! In user-friendly, example-studded language, You’ve Got to Be Kidding! brings a black-and-white clarity to the issues that so often confront today’s employee. Nan has made the seemingly complex simple to understand and to apply.”

—Dr. Marlene Caroselli, Corporate Trainer; Author of Quality Games for Trainers

“Nan DeMars’s judgment remains the first and last word on workplace ethics. Her experience and common sense approach, reflected in her excellent new book, You’ve Got to Be Kidding!, will serve as the ultimate guideline for appropriate workplace relationships.”

—Warren Spannaus, Former Attorney General, State of Minnesota

“Nan DeMars pulls off a perfect trifecta. She’s serious, hugely informative, and entertaining.”

—Dr. Robert F. Premer, Clinical Professor of Orthopedics University of Minnesota; Emeritus Chief of Orthopedics Minneapolis VA Medical Center

“Nan DeMars does more than suggest you ‘do the right thing’ when faced with moral and ethical dilemmas in today’s workplace. She tells you exactly how to maintain your personal and professional dignity and integrity above all else. Nan’s wit and compelling examples make this an engaging and eye-opening must-read book for employees at all levels of an organization.”

—Erin O’Hara Meyer, PHR, Author of Administrative Excellence:Revolutionizing Our Value in the Workplace

“Before I read any of Nan DeMars’s books or heard her speak, ‘ethics’ to me was a deadly dull subject from the musty pages of an ancient book. I was totally wrong! Nan brings ethics to life with humor and real-life stories that illustrate how much she understands our challenges in the workplace. Her genuine empathy and ‘Ethical Priority Compass’ guide us to the correct path, and You’ve Got to Be Kidding! is the perfect template to maneuver in a digital world where issues and demands for decisions appear at lightning speed. Everyone’s phone should have an app for Nan!”

—Alberta Esposito, Assistant to Chairman, President, and CEO, The McGraw-Hill Companies

“Nan DeMars owns the topic of workplace ethics. This book will assist all career-driven professionals (and their bosses) in the practicality of communication and mutual respect.”

—Susan K. Shamali CPS/CAP, 2010 IAAP® International President; Office Services Coordinator, PricewaterhouseCooper LLP

“Nan DeMars has written another engrossing ‘page-turner’ on workplace ethics. This is a book everyone should have on their desks to remind them about the importance of accountability and following their Ethical Priority Compass.”

—Mary Ramsay-Drow CPS/CAP, 2011 IAAP® International President; Executive Assistant, Harley-Davidson, Inc.

“This book (like her previous books) is actual, factual, to the point, and easy to read and use. Especially in a time of recession and aggression, it is a wonderful tool to learn how to handle sticky situations, what is acceptable and what is not. Thank you, Nan!”

—Ilja Kraag, SCPMG Legal Department; Executive Assistant, Kaiser Permanente

“Nan DeMars knows ethics inside out. In a world where integrity seems to be hard to find, Nan’s knowledge of the subject is complete and her insights are very helpful.”

—Gerri Kozlowski CPS, Executive Assistant; Past IAAP® International President, M&T Bank

“Read this book and, you will know that, when it comes to ethics in the workplace, Nan DeMars ‘gets’ the pressures today’s management and their staffs are under and understands the workplace from the trenches because she’s been there. Do yourself a favor—when Nan DeMars speaks, listen!”

—Barbara Adelman, Virtual Assistant

“As we say in the South, Nan ‘practices what she preaches.’ If there is ever a question about workplace ethics, just ask Nan—keep this book at your fingertips! She is the authority!”

—Ina Simpson, HRD Professional; Past IAAP® International President

“Nan provides ethical solutions to unethical situations and coaches the reader to meet these challenges with integrity, perseverance, and accountability. She offers real-time scenarios where men and women have succeeded in their endeavors to perform at a high level when faced with difficult decisions. Nan’s delightful sense of humor and respect for office professionals will engage you until the end.”

—Nancy Torell, Executive Assistant to President/CEO Kemps

“Nan’s insight and common sense approach to ethical behavior both in the workplace and sharing space on this complex planet is, in one word … brilliant. With wit and wisdom, you will learn that being honest truly is a virtue, and you will fall in love with Nan.”

—Terri Hill, Executive Administrative Assistant, Opportunity Partners

“As a human resource professional, time is of the essence in resolving employee issues in a satisfactory, all-inclusive manner. Keep You’ve Got to Be Kidding! at your fingertips—it will provide you with a positive outcome for all involved in any workplace ethical dilemma.”

—Rochelle Hummel, Human Resource Generalist, Spring Lake Village

“Nan DeMars is the foremost expert on ethics in the workplace. With humor, this book takes our complex ethical issues and shines on them the light of integrity and personal dignity. You’ll enjoy this read!”

—Pat Sandkamp, Executive Administrator, Northstar Balloons LLC

“After opening my door to FBI agents who questioned me about the conduct of an attorney I worked for early in my career, I can especially relate to Nan’s chapter on loyalty.”

—Karen Eide, Professional Executive Administrative Assistant

“We’re excited about this book at Monsanto! In the spring of 2010, our Administrative Professional Network (APN) invited Nan DeMars to present two office ethics seminars to its approximately 300 administrative professionals. We bridged the seminars over the lunch hour with a talk by our own business conduct director. Even he learned something from Nan! For those who have encountered unethical situations and felt alone (and who hasn’t ?), You’ve Got to Be Kidding! will show you how widespread these types of situations are and provide concrete information about what to do. Nan’s new book (along with her training) should be required for all.”

—Connie Verberkmoes, Sarah Faraone, and Tina Gonzenbach, Monsanto

“Nan DeMars has written another groundbreaking book on workplace ethics. This book is a primer for all employees in the workplace who find themselves, from time to time, in the crossfire of ethical complexities. Here are the practical guidelines to deal with those dilemmas in order that you, your boss, and your company all share a collective win. This book should stay front and center on everyone’s desk!”

—LaWayne Reuter Yaeger, Executive Administrative Assistant to the Chairman, President, and CEO Sempris, LLC

“In my 48 years as an executive administrator to CEOs, I have seen much of what Nan writes about. Today is a different world, and Nan DeMars has brought business ethics to the forefront and given each of us guidelines to live by. Nan’s real-life stories are written with humor, which makes her work easy and fun to read. Every company should provide every employee with this book to set the tone of the company’s expectations. Enjoy and learn!”

—Peggy Jo Danielson-Fortner, Executive Administrator to CEOs at General Mills, Ziegler, Toro, Valspar, NCS, and PLATO

“Nan DeMars’s books always make you stop and listen to that little voice in your head when something doesn’t seem ethically right. This book is a must–read for the newbie as well as the well-seasoned assistant.”

—Gale Shuster, Executive Assistant, Xcel Energy, Inc.

“With passion and dedication, Nan gives you the tools to work with as she walks you through some of the ethical dilemmas she has encountered in her work and provides you with guidelines. You’ve Got to Be Kidding! is a must for every human resource department, administrative professional, leader, and educator. A company with good ethical standards will have a good reputation.”

—Geri Ronningen, Executive Assistant to Chairman/CEO/CFO, Despatch Industries

“Thanks to this new book (and the teachings) of Nan DeMars, management and ethics are no longer just a polite oxymoron! Nan has empowered employees with the tools and courage to do the right thing, even if it means challenging those in positions of authority. Thank you, Nan!”

—Jennifer Fuller, Executive Administrative Assistant, CarVal Investors

“Workplace ethics seems to be a no-brainer, until you come face to face with reality. Then, all the complexities that surround these issues rear their ugly faces. This book gives you the tools of communication to peel back the layers and face the issues. This is thought-provoking and practical—a must-read for all professionals.”

—Lynda B. Boulay, CPS/CAP, Director, IAAP® Trust Foundation

Copyright © 2011 Nan DeMars. All rights reserved.

Ethical Priority CompassTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 1997. The Ethical OfficeTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 1997. Ethics Dilemma AuditTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 1997. Up Close and Personal Confidentiality Audit with Your ManagerTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 2011. Vendor Ethics AuditTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 2011. Workplace Harassment AuditTM is a registered trademark of Nan DeMars © 1997. CPS® and CAP® are registered marks of IAAP®, International Association of Administrative Professionals®.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada.

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ISBN: 978-0-470-94751-7 (cloth) ISBN: 978-1-118-08650-6 (ebk) ISBN: 978-1-118-08652-0 (ebk) ISBN: 978-1-118-08660-5 (ebk)

This book is dedicated to—

1. The three greatest men in my life: Hans Wessel, my father; Lou DeMars, my husband; and Judd Ringer, my first boss. These men of honor, far ahead of their times, proved to me it’s always good business to take the ethical high road.

2. All of you who so candidly shared with me your stories and insights. I’m so proud of your quest to do the right thing without losing your jobs.

3. And especially the administrative professionals throughout the world who are too often caught in the ethical crossfire of business activities. You are all my everyday heroes.

Preface

Iwas recently in Gillette, Wyoming, getting ready to present a citywide Office Ethics Workshop, and I was delighted to see a group of employees from a local mining company enter the room. Several rugged-looking coal miners dropped themselves into the front row, arms crossed, and looked me over with a what-the-heck-am-I-doing-here attitude!

Nevertheless, they soon warmed up. They were great contributors, especially to the lively discussions at the tables about “real-world” case studies. One miner’s comments were particularly poignant. He cornered me during a coffee break to profusely thank me for the session. He went on to say that he and his buddies hadn’t wanted to come to the workshop and wondered why their boss had insisted they attend. Then, tears welled up in his eyes, and he said, “Nan, at about 11:00 this morning, you hit on the exact ethical dilemma I have been struggling with for months. And now I know how to proceed!”

I was surprised and, of course, wanted to hear more. But he was gone before I could ask him what his dilemma was, and, later on, we were surrounded by attendees that made it difficult for him to share. Though the moment had passed, the pained look in his eyes stayed with me.

This coal miner personifies what I believe to be our collective reality today: everyone faces ethical dilemmas from time to time, even when their “office” is in the bowels of the Wyoming mountains.

My first book, You Want Me To Do WHAT?: When, Where, and How to Draw the Line at Work (Simon & Schuster, 1998), helped administrative professionals—the artists formerly known as “secretaries”—resolve their most common ethical dilemmas. As someone who’s been there/done that myself, I’ve been a champion of the admin profession throughout my office ethics training programs. In my mind, the person in this particular role is in one of the best positions to improve office ethics. Because they’re usually in the middle of the action, they have lots of leverage to influence coworkers’ behavior by virtue of simply being a good role model. I am extremely proud to hear that the book has become something of a must-have “bible” for all admins.

I find myself writing this book today because admins—and everyone else in the workforce, miners included—tell me they still get stuck by ethical dilemmas in the workplace, and there are plenty of new ones out there to drive us crazy. I am the number one advocate for the Ethical Office—no matter what kind of “office” you work in. I am happy to see that admins are being treated more often as the professionals they are. However, I am worried that we don’t yet fully understand that being a professional also means living up to a stricter code of ethics and being 100 percent accountable for our actions—no exceptions.

I’ve written this book to help with that. There’s no preaching or finger-wagging here because I know you’re smart enough to draw your own conclusions from the stories. I also know that ethical dilemmas are causing more stress because the ranks of employees left standing after recent rounds of layoffs are stretched pretty thin. This stress hits productivity—and profits—hard. Based on my seminars, the so-called Great Recession seems to have brought a lot of ethically suspect situations to a boil all at once, thereby forcing many people—admins and nonadmins alike—to choose between their ethics and job security.

This book invites you to help me expand the national dialogue about what it will take for us to build a culture of ethical offices. Everyone who works with others makes choices about how to treat their coworkers, so every one of us can contribute. If we want more ethical offices and all the benefits that come from that environment, we need to up the ante and tackle the tough “what if” questions before a crisis of conscience overwhelms and paralyzes us.

As it has with my ethics training, this book has morphed into guidance for all employees in the workplace. I witness more and more people who find themselves in the ethical crossfire of business activities. It’s simply become a fact of professional life! Together, we can learn to navigate the thorny and often treacherous minefield of ethical choices employees face today.

This is a how-to handbook for the practical resolution of common workplace ethical dilemmas. I hope you find it useful, even indispensable. I am especially hopeful for those of you worried about keeping your job during these difficult times, in perhaps the toughest job market in decades. I know that employees everywhere are feeling the pressure to accomplish more with fewer resources, so the temptation to cut corners is ever present.

We are making significant progress toward our goal of more ethical offices. The time during which we will be tested is when it’s most essential to stand up for what we know is true: doing the right thing is best for business success (and your own personal success) in the long run. To those asking, “Is it possible to keep my ethics and my job?,” I say, “Yes, it is—and, yes, you can!”

Introduction Why Do We Care about Ethics in the Workplace?

Are We Really That Vulnerable? More than Ever Today!

“Nan, why do I need ethics training anyhow? I’m ethical, my boss is ethical—in fact, the whole darn company is ethical!”

I love to hear this question because it means managers aspire to run an ethical ship, and most employees want to get on board!

But I am a realist. Human relationships—and the ethics that guide our conduct—are dynamic, unscripted, and imperfect. As certain as you are that you, your boss, and your company live in a state of grace, I’m equally certain that you and your company will be surprised time and again by moral dilemmas. This is the nature of the workplace, where personal ambition, organizational goals, egos, and work styles compete. To the extent that this competition is offset by cooperation, you will have more or less of an ethical office. But, because people are people, ethical dilemmas will always exist. This book can help you prepare for their inevitable—and hopefully infrequent—occurrence.

Let’s review the basics. An ethical dilemma occurs when we must choose between two negatives, for example, disobey our boss or defy our conscience. The costs can be high: Dilemmas cause stress that hurts our personal health and productivity, while the company’s reputation and profits eventually suffer as well. Dilemmas can cost us our jobs and put us behind bars. And since everyone has a boss (even top executives have to answer to boards of directors, shareholders, and their financial institutions), no one is beyond a dilemma. Our never-sleep business environment often means that ethical dilemmas come at us too quickly to take time for mature reflection. We’re usually forced to make a decision and take immediate action, before the ax falls or the dam bursts.

What did it look like when you first encountered an ethical dilemma at work? Was it when you were asked to “fudge” an answer to someone on the phone? When you were asked to falsify attendance or inventory or expense account records? Was it when you were tempted to show favoritism to a vendor because of a gift? Were you on the wrong side of a lawsuit because of a breach of client confidentiality or computer security? Maybe you had your reputation shredded by gossip and innuendo, or you were the last one standing in a take-no-prisoners financial scheme?

These are a few of the more egregious dilemmas that will hopefully never cross your work threshold. However, there are somewhat more minor daily situations that frequently challenge your ethical and moral standards. Ethical dilemmas come in all shapes, sizes, and dollar amounts—and can occur when you least expect them.

Admins Have Always Been in the Middle of the Action

Administrative professionals do not work in isolation—far from it, in fact. They see coworkers, bosses, vendors, and customers being their best and worst selves. Because they could be deemed the “nerve center” of the office, they’re usually among the first responders to a mess. Anyone who manages to keep their ethics without losing their job is a hero in my book!

As a pioneer in the workplace ethics field, I’ve had a front-row seat to a parade of ethical dilemmas, especially those administrative professionals encounter. I myself was an executive assistant to a CEO for years, and then had the privilege and good fortune to lead the International Association of Administrative Professionals. As international president and a six-year member of the board of directors, I was privy to the “big-picture” challenges we faced behind closed doors. Some of the stories I heard would shock and anger you. You would probably ask—as I often did—“What planet are these people on?”

The legal protections against discrimination and harassment were not always present, and a lot of tears were shed for the wrong reasons. In 1981, I helped our association write and adopt the first code of ethics for the administrative profession. It was a defining milestone that signaled to the world that we have the same responsibility—and deserve the same respect—as other professionals.

I launched my executive assistant search firm during this time. I also began to present my ethics workshops and keynote presentations to companies, organizations, associations and educational institutions that had become aware of their office ethics problems and wished to change their culture by incorporating my principles of the Ethical Office. This is when I really got an earful. Indeed, some of the ethical (or unethical) situations seminar participants related would set your hair on fire. Gradually, I saw the patterns of dysfunction that made corporate cultures toxic and unethical.

I poured everything I’d learned into my first book, You Want Me To Do WHAT?: When, Where, and How to Draw the Line at Work (Simon & Schuster, 1998). It was a true labor of love that, I hope, helped a lot of people. I also authored several international surveys of admins to get an accurate measurement of what was going on in the trenches at companies of all types and sizes. The results grabbed a lot of headlines because they reflected both qualitative and quantitative dimensions.

Then, almost overnight, it seemed that employees at all levels of responsibility were finding themselves on the witness stands! Enron … Martha Stewart … WorldCom … Arthur Andersen … Bernie Madoff and dozens of other “Ponzi schemes” became emblematic of scandals in the headlines. Suddenly, workplace ethics became a part of the national discussion as we all wondered, “How could these people do what they did?”

Fast-forward to today. Unscrupulous behavior has become a mainstay of the blogosphere and the 24-hour news cycle, and falls from grace regularly occur in the political, environmental, medical, educational, and commercial work world. Codes of ethics and conduct can be found from large companies on through the mom-and-pops. Job descriptions have been written for the newest type of organizational leader, the ethics director. “Hot lines” to report ethical lapses are common; so are “point persons” designated to handle ethical dilemmas and “do’s and don’ts” in expanded employee handbooks. The number of colleges and universities with ethics curriculums has grown from less than 10 to more than 300 in less than a decade. And ethics training has become the most popular training on the professional development docket.

Everyone Now “Gets It!”

Unlike my previous title, this book lands in a “we get it” climate. Not only are employees recognizing their accountability and resulting vulnerability in the workplace today, but employers are recognizing the same as well. By using real-world examples—some ripped from current headlines—this book will increase awareness of ethics in the workplace in the twenty-first century—from both the employee’s and employer’s perspective. This is an employee- and employer-friendly book.

You’ve Got To Be Kidding! is filled with comments and stories from my OfficePro column readers, seminar attendees, and talk show call-ins, all of which reflect the many ethical dilemmas with which employees and employers alike struggle. Some participants have identified themselves while others are given a false first name because they wished to remain anonymous. But all of these stories are taken from real-life experiences. My husband, Lou, says I am now “unshockable” because I’ve heard it all before.

However, I’m not so sure. I am still surprised by the things people do at work. Stuff happens; people are still people, and they sometimes behave badly. French novelist Alphonse Karr put it this way: “The more things change, the more they remain the same.”

I’m Optimistic

Though this book has a few snapshots from the past, it focuses mostly on the future. I refuse to resign myself to the fact that people will always disappoint and misbehaving companies will always deny. I have witnessed firsthand what can happen when improvements take hold, and I assert that we are much closer to the universal Ethical Office than ever before. Never mind that we still have a ways to go; you care, and your bosses care, and that’s more than a good start. Together, we make zillions of small, everyday decisions to do the right thing, and this truly makes a difference.

This book is for everyone trying to do the right thing and keep their job. It is packed with ideas, suggestions, tools, and strategies to help you “see” the ethical problems in your workplace and “remodel” to fix them. What might appear at first glance to be a lose-lose scenario (e.g., lie and keep your job or be honest and lose your job) doesn’t have to be. This book offers many suggestions to handle your current ethical dilemmas—and possibly head off future problems.

Yes, these stories reflect the tough dilemmas employees face. But, more important, they reveal the ways in which office professionals—regardless of title—are solving these problems. Their stories will make you proud and ratchet up the “ethics IQ” of your coworkers, your bosses, the people you supervise, and your employers. As we become collectively better at recognizing and resolving our ethical dilemmas at work, we will all enjoy a higher, more sustainable quality of life, do a better job of serving our customers, and improve our bottom lines. Doing the right thing is good for business after all.

Gertrude Stein once said: “The difference—to be a difference— must make a difference.” You—just by focusing on ethics in the workplace today—are making that difference!

We are being the change we want to see!

—Mahatma Gandhi

Part I

Take Care of Yourself

1

When Morals Become Ethics

Your Beliefs Become Your Behaviors

Whatever we want our children to be, we should become ourselves.

—Carl Jung

A gentleman stood up in one of my citywide seminars in Knoxville, Tennessee, that many University of Tennessee students were attending. He announced that he was “only speaking to the young people in the audience” and went on to tell the story below. I’m so glad he did:

I had just graduated from college and had my first job with an oil company in Oklahoma City 25 years ago. Jobs were scarce at the time, and I especially needed mine because my wife was pregnant. My boss called me into his office one day and gave me two envelopes—one with a round-trip ticket to Phoenix, the other with $10,000 in cash. He told me to fly to Phoenix and give the envelope to the chief of a Native American reservation in the area. I don’t know where I got the nerve at the time, but I remember asking him “why?” He replied, “We are trying to buy the oil rights of his reservation.”

To this day, I can tell you the suit I was wearing, the color of my shirt and tie, and how my knees were wobbling. I mustered up my courage and replied, “Then, this is a bribe?” My boss immediately responded, “No, no, no—this is just the way we do business!”

Now, I had a choice, and it turned out to be the choice that framed my future business career. In a slightly shaky but firm voice, I replied: “Then, I can’t do that.”

I can’t remember my boss’s exact words, but they were something to the effect of “my way or the highway.” And I never did figure out if, in that moment, I was fired or I quit! Regardless, I was on the street.

After a good amount of time and trauma, I eventually found another job in the banking industry. I am now executive vice president of (a major bank) in Knoxville.

I am telling this story to you young people out there for two reasons: First, I don’t care how old you are, you can stand up for what you believe is right. And, second, every ethical decision I had to make in my career from that point on was easier to make!

The applause seemed to go on and on.

This man probably didn’t get up in the morning on the day that he refused to deliver the bribe and declare, “Today, I will stand my ground and behave in an ethical way.” His decisions came automatically from within—from his moral compass, the internal guidance system that pointed toward what was right and away from what was wrong. In short, his moral beliefs directed his ethical choices. He learned early on in his professional life that “doing the right thing” means making the difficult choice even when there is a steep price to pay, or even when no one at all—except you—would ever know the difference.

A Few Definitions

Before we proceed, I want to share my definitions for values, morals, and ethics. These terms are commonly used interchangeably since they each provide behavioral rules. However, you have to appreciate their distinctions to understand why good people sometimes behave badly. So let’s split a few hairs:

Values by themselves are not a matter of good versus bad, moral versus immoral, or ethical versus unethical. Our values are personal; we choose and assign to them varying degrees of importance. Not all are equal, and they change as we grow and encounter various life experiences. Some of our values might be qualities like comfort, stress, accountability, friendship, security, honesty, stability, achievement, status, autonomy, loyalty, competition, cooperation; it’s a long list. But whatever values we choose, those that are most important to us are essentially what define us.

Morals are the principles of a person’s character that are deemed “right” or “good” according to a community’s standards. We learn morals when we are very young, and they do not change. Ethics describes the social system—like your office—in which those morals are applied. Ethics usually refers to a set of rules or expectations that are accepted by a group of people, whereas a person’s morals stay private. A useful way to think about how morals and ethics relate is this: We accept our morals and choose our ethics based on our values.

These distinctions allow us to talk confidently about social, medical, office, company, and professional ethics, but not about moral or immoral people. We cannot know another person’s moral code; however, we can observe a person’s ethical behavior. When we refer to another person as moral or immoral, we impose our moral standards on them and presume that we know their internal character, their innate “goodness” or “badness.” We’re better off simply saying that someone is ethical or unethical, based on whether we observe their behavior to be aligned to our group’s accepted code of conduct.

What Do You Think?

I attended a holiday party a few weeks after Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scandal erupted in New York City. A gentleman came up to me and posed this question: “Nan, I sit on the board of trustees of a prestigious college on the East Coast. A few months ago, the college received a huge monetary gift from Madoff. The money is currently in the bank but has not been allocated to any particular branch of the college yet. Can we keep this money?”

I started to give my standard disclaimer, as I often do: “I’m not an attorney, nor am I a licensed CPA . . .” when he interrupted me with, “I know you’re not, but you’re an ethicist. I would like your opinion on what we should do!”

I looked him right in the eye and replied, “It’s not your money!”

Well, to say he went “ballistic” would be an understatement. He peppered his justifications at me at rapid pace: “We were given and accepted the money in good faith” and “We are totally innocent in the Madoff scheme.” His defensive diatribe went on so long it brought to mind Shakespeare’s line: “Methinks you doth protest too much!” Why was he even asking me the question in the first place if he had no doubt about what he should do?

When he finally ran out of steam, I caught two attorneys who are friends of mine by the sleeve, brought them over, and asked the gentleman to ask them the same question. He did, and both of them immediately responded: “It’s not your money, so you have to give it back!”

We discussed at length how this was a unique ethical dilemma because the money had not yet even been allocated to a particular branch of the college (it was just sitting in the bank). My attorney friends both said if the funds had been already spent, you could argue it was too late to do anything. However, there was a clear choice in this case. This was also a great example whereby the gentleman was justifying keeping the money because “We’re not doing anything illegal.” But was it the right thing to do?

Fast-forward a few months. I was chatting with a golfing friend, Andy Weiner, about this very subject, when he shared the following story with me. Andy was serving as a board member of Faith’s Lodge, a Minnesota-based charity that supports families facing the loss or severe illness of a child. At their annual fund-raising event, Andy said the chair was standing at the podium ready to close out the evening when “a nice-looking gentleman in formal business attire took the stage and told the story of losing his son—and then handed him a $25,000 check!” Andy added, “We were all elated. What a wonderful way to wind up our fund-raising year!”

Four days later, the man who presented the check, Tom Petters, was arrested for heading a “mini-Madoff” Ponzi scheme. (Petters has since been sentenced to 50 years in prison.)

I asked Andy, “What did you do?” He replied, “We immediately had an emergency board meeting via e-mail and we unanimously voted to return the check.” Andy looked me right in the eye and said, “Nan—it wasn’t our money!”

Are There Morals We All Agree Upon?

Yes. There is a short list of universal moral principles that appears to be accepted by all religions, cultures, and societies:

EmpathyThe ability to distinguish right from wrongResponsibilityReciprocityCommitment to something greater than oneselfSelf-respect, but with humility, self-discipline, and acceptance of personal responsibilityRespect and caring for others (the Golden Rule)Caring for other living things and the environment

While each culture may label and express these universal moral principles in slightly different ways, you can look for them anywhere and you’ll find that common moral sense is always the same.

Ethics, then, is a system of moral values. We all start with universal moral principles and, as we mature, choose our most important values based on our upbringing and social networks. If our morals and values are in alignment, we can relate to others in an ethical way. We can also look at ourselves directly in the mirror while shaving or tackling bed hair in the morning. Even Mickey Mouse used to say, “You have to be yourself!”

While it’s difficult—nearly impossible—to change another person’s morals, their values may be negotiable, and this is where hope for the Ethical Office lies. If we can align our coworkers to a commonly accepted code of ethical behavior—that is, our professional ethics—our ethical dilemmas will disappear, and productivity will go through the roof!

Growing Up Ethical

Where do our morals—these “generally accepted standards of goodness and badness in conduct or character”—actually come from? It is widely thought that we do not choose our morals, but rather learn them and accept them from our culture—some combination of our parents, teachers, religious leaders, media, coaches, friends, and experiences—at a very young age, hence our societal imperative that children receive sufficient care and nurturing. In the words of James Baldwin, “Children have never been very good at listening to elders—but they have never failed to imitate them.”

I once sat with radio talk show host Danny Bonaduce in his New York City studio for a live interview. You may recall Danny, at a young age, as the little red-haired, freckle-faced actor who played the banjo on The Partridge Family TV show. Danny took our workplace ethics conversation seriously, but he also teased me (and his listeners) with questions such as: “Nan, I don’t make much money here, so what if I take the dictionary home and keep it for my kids? Is that ethical? What if I just take the Scotch tape home every now and then? Is that ethical? Everyone does it—what’s the big deal?” Ms. Ethics (me) kept responding to his questions, “No, Danny, that’s not ethical.” Finally, at one point, with a twinkle in his eye, he replied with frustration, “You remind me of my TV mom—Shirley Jones! She never let me get by with anything, either!”

I told Danny he reminded me of one of my favorite cartoons featuring a little boy who was suspended from school for stealing pencils. His father was driving him home and scolding him all the way: “Johnny, how can you possibly be suspended from school for stealing pencils?” In the last cartoon frame, the papa says, “What do you do with all the pencils I bring home from the office?” It certainly makes one think.

However we come by them, our morals provide the context, or framework, for our actions. These are our most fundamental beliefs—our core values. These are the principles and values we have internalized. We make moral decisions without a lot of thought because they are based on the principles in which we believe most deeply. Morals are a part of who we are—our internal guidance system.

In order to live happily and at peace with ourselves, we have to live in ways that are congruent with our morals. For us to work happily and productively, we need to share common ethical standards with our coworkers. Therefore, we encounter a classic ethical dilemma when the ethics in the office are at odds with our personal values. And the larger the gap, the greater your level of stress. That’s what makes the discussion of what the Ethical Office is, and how to build one, so essential to the quality of your professional life. You have the power to choose whether to behave in ways that are congruent with your values and morals, and you have the power to act to influence the group’s ethics.

Acting on what you believe is “right” creates a positive and productive workplace, whereas acting in opposition to what you know is “right” causes discontent, low esteem, angst, frustration, pettiness, and—surprise, surprise—low productivity. I have observed this time and time again in my consulting work and have found that an ethical workplace outperforms an unethical (or ethically conflicted or confused) workplace every time.

But Aren’t Laws Sufficient?

Unfortunately, no. Laws are the minimum, essential requirements that maintain social order. They apply to everyone and are attractive because they are actually written down. However, conforming to a standard that is merely the minimum for behavior is hardly an achievement.

Laws are poor substitutes for ethical awareness and conduct at work for two reasons: First, you cannot possibly codify all aspects of the interpersonal relationships that comprise an office environment. If someone in the workplace is going to treat someone else unfairly, he will find a way to do it. Second, it is possible to satisfy the letter of the law even while still committing an act that most reasonable people would consider unethical or immoral. It may be technically legal to accept a gift from a supplier, but does that make it the right thing to do?

Still, it’s tempting to use a simple, minimal legal standard for our conduct. When called to account for our questionable behavior, how many of us would hide behind the flimsy statement, “I did nothing illegal,” or “What I did was perfectly legal,” as if legality equals “rightness.”

Let’s sum it up in reverse order.

Legal standards are the minimal standards that provide the outer boundaries of conduct (“If you go beyond this point, you risk going to jail”). They tell you what you cannot do, but provide no positive guidance about what you should do. Workplaces that are guided solely by the law tend to be negative, petty, and mean-spirited. We, of course, must comply with the law, but it’s not enough.

Ethical standards are the next step up. Ethical conduct is the set of behavior standards established for, chosen, and accepted by a group of people working together in the same place, group, or profession. There may be differences among corporate, professional, office, and personal ethics, depending on your situation.

Values are the bridge between morals and ethics. They are personal, variable, and adaptable. They carry no “rightness” or “wrongness” in and of themselves, but they must be aligned to morals and ethics to avoid dilemmas and the accompanying stress.

Moral conduct implies the highest standards of conduct guided by universal principles. If the law is the minimal standard, and ethical standards a reasonable expectation, then a moral code is the highest personal standard.

In short, the law tells you what you should not do, ethics tell you what you should do, and morals tell you what you should aspire to do.

This way of thinking explains why and how there can be several acceptable answers to ethical dilemmas. While I certainly don’t want to suggest that you lower your standards, I must tell you the truth. Sometimes the best you can do in the practical world is to choose the answer closest to your personal values. They define who you are, and the closer you are to your “true” self, the happier and more satisfied you will be at work. Each of us has to make choices about keeping things confidential, respecting coworkers, telling the truth, and so on—choices that routinely test who we are and what we stand for.

We Grow Ethically as We Mature (Thank Heaven)

People will continue to grow ethically as long as they continue to be challenged. One of my favorite stories about maturing is the father who devised a method of disciplining his young son. Whenever the boy was naughty, he had to drive a nail in the fence. Whenever he was good, the boy was allowed to remove a nail. Simple rules, right? One day, the boy noticed that the fence was all full of holes and looked bad. He remarked about this to his father and said, “I can take the nails out, but I can’t remove the holes” (an important observation). His dad was wise to point out that, although we may balance our mistakes with good deeds, sometimes the mistakes still leave their mark.

This potential for predictable moral growth is the single best hope for building a more ethical office environment. Questioning and discussing the ethical dilemmas that take place in the office prompts everyone who participates to move a little further toward their next stage of development.

So there is hope! The ethical dilemmas you are thrashing out this year with your supervisors, peers, and coworkers are actually helping people grow, which hopefully means you will not have to deal with the same dilemmas next year. There’s still no guarantee that your boss will “see the light” and stop submitting bogus expense reports on her own; after all, she has her own set of values. But as you learn to identify and handle these dilemmas better, your boss’s ethics might even improve a bit (albeit often at a glacial pace)!

Fortunately, we have choices about how to handle our ethical dilemmas, which means we have some power over what happens to us professionally. Good thing, too, because dilemmas, by definition, defy simple, black-and-white decisions. We’ll see this recurring theme time and again in this book because the decision you make depends on the given situation’s unique circumstances.

I received the following letter that presents a classic dilemma, which pits moral standards against job obligations:

Dear Nan:

I am a legal assistant to a high-profile attorney who often takes on controversial cases. I love my job because it’s never boring and challenges me daily. My boss’s new client is an abortion clinic in our city; he is defending the clinic in a malpractice lawsuit. I am a staunch pro-life supporter and campaign often for candidates of my persuasion and, for that reason, I do not want to support my boss in this case. I know that if I have to do so, my personal feelings will prevent me from doing a good job. Do I have the right to refuse? And, if so . . . how do I do it?

—Elenita in San Antonio, TX

I know my seminar attendees struggle with this situation because the room is always split on this particular issue. The conundrum is: You are not being asked to do anything illegal, immoral, or unethical; you are simply being asked to do your job! But you are struggling with the question: Can I keep my personal morals out of the job—and do I have a right to express them? Again, you have a choice.

Keep in mind that you have been hired to do your job, and one of your responsibilities is to support your boss in his or her job. You haven’t been hired to pick and choose which part of your boss’s responsibilities you wish to support. What if your boss were defending a child abuser? That case would kick us all in the stomach. Legal assistants who are familiar with these dilemmas remind us that, when you join a law firm, you accept two principles: (1) everyone has the right to a vigorous defense, and (2) everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

This woman’s options were as follows: She could do her job while trying to separate her emotions about her personal morals from her performance. She could also talk to her boss about the situation, explain her objection, and express her concern about being able to perform at top level. If she works for a large law firm, perhaps they can find another assistant to work on this case and/or hire a temp to do so (both of which are, unfortunately, costly solutions). If it is a small law firm, neither of these solutions may be an option. This assistant may be fortunate to have an understanding boss who will make an adjustment for her, or this may quickly become a nonperformance black mark in her next review. She may even be fired on the spot. All of these outcomes are legal, and she would have no recourse. But, again, everyone has the right to say “no” to anything—and the price you may pay for not being able to separate your personal beliefs from your job responsibilities may be too high for you. Then again, it might be a price you are willing to pay. Only you can decide.

Phew. Whoever said these jobs were easy?

We All Have Regrets

Jean was a Midwestern secretary who worked for the fund-raising arm of a nonprofit operation. Her specialty was planned gifts, and the executive she worked for was an attorney. Her organization encourages donors to seek their own attorney’s counsel for document preparation during the estate planning process. One particular donor, who procrastinated in having her will made out, was, according to Jean, “sort of coerced into signing a will we made out for her.” Jean’s boss asked her to prepare a will for the elderly woman to sign and put their organization in it for $50,000, which she did, and “we became beneficiaries of this gift.” At her boss’s request, Jean destroyed all evidence “that we drew up the will.” She was also instructed to have “no memory of this situation.” Jean claimed to have a good relationship with her boss and that she “always did what he asked.” Despite the fact that she knew at the time that what she was doing was wrong, she went ahead and followed her boss’s instructions. The elderly woman died, and Jean’s organization received its gift accordingly. However, Jean will forever have regrets that she did not object to her boss’s request. She also realizes now that, if the family ever contested the will, “I could be taken into court for questioning.” Jean considers this to have been a substantial ethical, moral, and legal lapse in her judgment.

Mark was chief operating officer of an engineering firm. He told me that he once “sat in the CEO’s office while the CEO ranted, raved, and scolded (complete with expletives) one of my subordinates!” He added, “I knew this was verbal abuse of the worst kind, and yet I did nothing about it.” Mark confessed to me, “Today, I would have stood up, told the CEO I would handle this myself, and made a fast exit with my employee in tow.” He added that while he knows this would have made the CEO furious, he would have sat down with him later and explained how this kind of behavior falls into the hostile environment slot of harassment guidelines and the like. To add to Mark’s regret for not defending his employee at the time, he told me he also lost him to a competitor shortly thereafter. And, as he said, “I can’t blame the guy for leaving.”

A woman named Julie told me she was an executive at a privately owned industrial firm. Her boss, the CEO, was a staunch supporter of a particular presidential candidate and party, and Julie happened to be supporting the opposition. The CEO often held fund-raisers at his home, which, according to Julie, he “expected his executives to attend and, if they could not attend, to at least write a personal check to the candidate.” In addition, a few weeks before the national election, he “brought in posters of his candidate for each of us to put up in our private offices and also handed out bumper stickers.” Julie said while all of this made her furious, she wanted to “remain in good stead with my boss . . . so, I plugged my nose and put up the poster but could not go so far as the bumper sticker.”