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- Herausgeber: tredition
- Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
- Sprache: Englisch
Arguments are the order of the day with Maja's parents. The father strikes hard when something doesn't suit him. He humiliates and insults his wife and children. Maja's mother can no longer take the abuse. She leaves the family and leaves her three children with her husband. One day, she picks Maja up from school and abducts her. The mother flees with her daughter to Prague in the hope of being able to lead a better life in the West. Maja has to cope with the catastrophic conditions that prevail in the Prague embassy in September 1989. There are days when she doesn't even get enough to eat and her mother constantly leaves her alone. Her mother meets her future husband Bertram in a reception camp. Maja is severely traumatized. The man abuses the girl. The child fears that she will never see her siblings again and that the abuse will never stop. Maja's own mother ignores her cries for help. She doesn't want to hear about the abuse. Will Maja see her siblings again? Will her nightmare end or will she remain defencelessly at the mercy of her stepfather?
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Seitenzahl: 370
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024
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Jacqueline Padberg
1989: Maja, contemporary witness
As a refugee child in the Prague embassy
Factual report
Foreword
I struggled with myself for over a year about whether I should write Maja's biography. There were reasons for this that I don't want to go into. I decided to do it this year and hope that it can help Maja to come to terms with her past.
The story moved me, affected me and left me stunned. No child should experience as much suffering as Maja did.
In this book
Arguments are the order of the day with Maja's parents. The father strikes hard when something doesn't suit him. He humiliates and insults his wife and children. Maja's mother can no longer take the abuse. She leaves the family and leaves her three children with her husband. One day, she picks Maja up from school and abducts her. The mother flees with her daughter to Prague in the hope of being able to lead a better life in the West. Maja has to cope with the catastrophic conditions that prevail in the Prague embassy in September 1989. There are days when she doesn't even get enough to eat and her mother constantly leaves her alone. Her mother meets her future husband Bertram in a reception camp. Maja is severely traumatized. The man abuses the girl. The child fears that she will never see her siblings again and that the abuse will never stop. Maja's own mother ignores her cries for help. She doesn't want to hear about the abuse. Will Maja see her siblings again? Will her nightmare end or will she remain defencelessly at the mercy of her stepfather?
Dedication for Maja
Pride means not snapping at every bone and not cowering before every stick.
Walter Jakoby (*1958)
Jacqueline Padberg
1989: Maja, contemporary witness
As a refugee child in the Prague embassy
Factual report
Table of contents
Foreword
In this book
1Shopping for Christmas presents?
2The child abduction
3Where the hell is Maja?
4Arrival at the Prague Embassy
5Daily news from September 20, 1989
6Catastrophic conditions
7Everyday life in the refugee camp
8My diary entries
9Gröditz end of September
10Disputes
11September 30, 1989
12Great despair at home
13Arrival in Hof
14Gießen
15The people want reforms
16A trace of Maja?
17Previously with the Weißbruch family
18Dillingen, first assaults in the gym
19The fall of the wall
20Überherrn
21My nightmare in the basement apartment
22Christmas without Maja
23Further sexual assaults
24Good news
25Great joy in Überherrn
26The reunion
27The nightmares
28The threats
29Breaking the silence?
30Humiliations
31The first apartment of my own
32Legal support
33Matze and relatives
34A bitter setback
Epilogue Maja
Afterword Hannah
Afterword by the author
I was not supposed to see the light of day. The doctors had advised my mother Conny not to have me, Maja, her fourth child. My mother contracted rubella when she was pregnant with me. The doctors were therefore unable to rule out rubella embryopathy. This meant that I was at risk of developing severe damage to my inner ear, heart, eyes, but perhaps also to my brain, liver or spleen. Fortunately, my mother decided against medical advice not to abort me and gave me life.
I am grateful to her for giving birth to me. I am glad that I exist. I may have suffered permanent damage, but I'm making the best of it. I am her fourth of five children. Mother had left her first two sons at the orphanage. My half-brothers, who are older than me, have different fathers. My mother was quite busy ...
Together with my siblings Hannah and Henry, I searched for my half-brothers for years. Unfortunately, the search was fruitless for decades. It was only a few years ago that we found out that my mother's first-born lies in the cemetery. He took his own life when he was only thirty years old. We miss him very much. He was never able to come to terms with the fact that he was abused by my parents as a child and sexually abused by my father. I don't have any contact with my other half-brother. I don't want to either, now that I've learned what matters to him in life. He hasn't worked for a good twenty years, is financially dependent on his adoptive mother and scrounges his way through life. He even told me in writing that he likes to live at the expense of the general public. That shocked me. He goes even further. He calls people who work hard every day stupid. My half-brother laughs at people who work for a living and get up every morning to earn their money. He mocks and ridicules taxpayers who enable him to receive citizens' income. I have worked all my life and that is the reason why I avoid this half-brother and no longer want to have any contact with him. I have no sympathy for such an attitude to life.
One day, my mother got together with Hermann, my father, and married him. My parents first gave birth to another child, my brother Henry. When my older brother was born, my father was serving another long prison sentence. He was in prison more than once. He had to serve prison sentences for fraud, receiving stolen goods, child abuse and assault. He was not a respectable citizen. Henry therefore grew up without his father for the first few years. When I was born four years later, my father was at large. Three years after I was born, I had a little sister. Her name is Hannah. We grew up together in a small town in Saxony.
We lived in modest circumstances. My parents often argued. Father regularly hit my mother and my brother. He also liked to drink. He didn't beat me up, but he never missed an opportunity to humiliate me. Due to my cognitive deficits, which I have had since birth and which were caused by the rubella during pregnancy, I was sent to a special school in the former GDR after kindergarten. That didn't suit my father. He constantly belittled me and insulted me for being a stupid and lazy child. That often made me sad. I tried very hard to live up to my parents' expectations. But I rarely succeeded. My room was never tidy enough. I wasn't smart or pretty enough for them either.
I was chubby, with red hair and freckles. My father often said to me that red-haired children were descended from the devil, were in league with him and were evil people. That hurt me. My parents always found a reason to mock me, humiliate me or scold me. It was the same with my brother Henry. He also went to a special school. I don't know why he didn't go to secondary school.
I still have a good relationship with my older brother to this day. We have been fans of the same pop star since we were children and regularly attend concerts of our favorite artist together. It often made me sad that my brother had to put up with just as much humiliation as I did as a child. Henry was also locked up and beaten by our father. Sometimes my father would lock him in his room for days as punishment. I would have loved to help him then, but I didn't know how. When I begged Dad to let Henry out of his room, he would pull me away from the door, in front of which I would sit crying and shouting.
"Stop crying and go to your room immediately! Otherwise you'll be in for a shock. You're such losers and stupid students. You'll never amount to anything in life. That's for sure. I shouldn't have brought you into the world. That was a big mistake, that's a fact. You take after your mother and are just as incompetent and mendacious as she is."
His harsh words hit me right in the heart. I often cried my eyes out when he sent me to my nursery with sentences like that. Until my father died in 2018, I still always hoped that one day he would tell me that he was proud of me. Unfortunately, my wish didn't come true. Before he died, his last words to me were that there was nothing about me that he could be proud of. That hit me hard once again. I really regretted visiting him when he was dying.
No daughter likes to hear that from her father, especially as I have spent my whole life trying to prove to my parents that I am lovable and that they can be proud of me. I didn't succeed. I still wonder today why they couldn't love and accept me for who I am and how I have developed. I found out a few years ago that my father left school in the seventh grade. He had neither a school-leaving certificate nor any vocational training! By the time he was 25, he had already changed jobs over twenty times because he couldn't cope in any company. That's what it says in his Stasi file, which I received from my sister Hannah. And someone like that leaves the world with the words to me that he has nothing to be proud of? I don't understand that. Do I have any reason to be proud of him now that I know the truth? I don't know myself.
My mother is almost eighty years old and has been living in a retirement home since last year. I still hope that she will tell me one day that she loves me and that she is proud of me. So far she hasn't done that. I still hope that one day my mother will. Why? I can't answer that, but I long for her recognition. I still don't understand why our parents often humiliated us so much. It's not Henry's and my fault that we had to attend a special school as children. What's so bad about having deficits? I often didn't even know what we were being punished for. My parents were often in a bad mood and constantly bickering. They didn't need a reason to humiliate us. Sometimes I had the feeling that our parents took pleasure in humiliating us. I was always relieved when my father wasn't angry with us or when he didn't come home drunk and hit either my mother or Henry. He could also be a good father. There were days when he had nothing wrong with his children. That always made me and my older brother particularly happy. He would take us on outings or just buy us sweets. We enjoyed that. Mother was unhappy with father and us. She scolded us a lot. According to her, we children only made a mess and were naughty. She liked it best when we sat quietly in a corner, didn't play and didn't eat cookies that crumbled. That was a nightmare for her. She would immediately start sweeping, screaming and tearing the cookies out of our hands. She then grabbed us roughly by the arm and dragged us into the children's room. We had to stay in bed and spend hours thinking about our naughty behavior. That was exhausting. We couldn't make a mess or get anything dirty in bed. This punishment often depressed us as children. We were bored to death when the sun was shining outside and we weren't allowed to get up.
I had my little sister Hannah just three years after I was born. At first I loved her and helped her with washing and dressing. Years later, that was no longer the case. I didn't like her as much as I used to. It bothered me that she could do everything better than me, even though she was even smaller. She was a real smart mouth, a pain in the neck and father's favorite. That annoyed me. Hannah later didn't go to a special school, but to secondary school. That made me envious. My older brother and I were annoyed that our father always portrayed our little sister as a clever and pretty child and constantly called us losers. It wasn't Hannah's fault that Dad did that. We were still angry with her and didn't like her very much. We ostracized her, rarely dealt with her and didn't always behave fairly. Henry and I got on really well, though. We listened to music together, sang, danced and fooled around. I have fond memories of these wonderful moments that I was able to experience with my brother in my childhood.
One day, unfortunately, something sad happened that has stayed with me to this day, that I will never forget and that has shaped me for the rest of my life. When I was ten years old, the most terrible time of my childhood began. I would now like to tell you in detail what exactly happened back then.
One day, my mother could no longer bear the constant humiliation and beatings from my father and disappeared. They had both filed for divorce years ago and were divorced. My father had been given custody of my siblings and me. That was quite unusual, even for the GDR. We don't know the exact background.
My mother came to visit me one day and picked me up from school. That surprised me. But she made a fatal decision that day that had consequences for me and traumatized me for the rest of my life. I was sitting in class when there was a knock on the door. My mother entered the classroom and gave me a friendly wave. My parents were living in different cities at the time and we children hadn't heard from our mother for months. I was therefore delighted to see her again and beamed at her. She went to Mrs. S., my teacher, and whispered something in her ear. Shortly afterwards, my class teacher called out to me.
"Well, let's go then! Let's go, Maja! Your mom has come to pick you up. She wants to take you to Riesa to buy Christmas presents for you and your siblings. Isn't that great? Then quickly pack your things in your school bag and go with her! That's all right. You have the rest of the day off school. Your father knows about it and won't mind. I hope you have lots of fun with your mom."
I was so happy and couldn't believe my luck. I didn't hesitate and put my exercise book in my satchel. My mother claimed that my father had allowed the trip. That was true, but she didn't tell him that she had planned something else with me and I had no way of knowing at the time.
I had the rest of the day off school and was incredibly happy. That was all that mattered to me. So I hurried and didn't question anything. My classmates envied me the day off school. I promised Carola and Werner, my best friends, that I would bring them something nice and said goodbye to them quickly. I was afraid that my mother might change her mind if I wasn't quick enough. And, of course, I wanted to receive great Christmas presents from her! Mrs. S., my teacher, smiled sweetly at me once more before I left the classroom. At the time, I had no way of knowing that I wouldn't see her and my best friends again for years.
Mother took me by the hand and we walked to the station. I talked a mile a minute and wanted to know which stores we were going to visit in Riesa? I also told her what my siblings and I wanted for Christmas. She asked me to calm down and barely said a word to me. She seemed nervous and was hectic. She kept turning around as if she was being followed. Mother walked briskly. I got a stitch in my side and couldn't run as fast as she could. She squeezed my hand tightly and whined at me to move forward while she pulled my arm. I found her behavior strange and it worried me. Nevertheless, I made an effort to pick up the pace. When we arrived at the station, we stood on the platform waiting for the train. I was out of breath and preoccupied with my side stitch. Mother was looking at her watch the whole time and was still tense. When the train arrived, she looked relieved. We found a seat and took the train towards Riesa. But we didn't get off there. I didn't understand that at all. When we arrived at the station and my mother made no move to leave the train with me, I became suspicious and thoughtful. I wondered what this meant? Had my mother been dreaming or had she not noticed that we had arrived at our destination? Or was she up to something else? A thousand thoughts ran through my head.
I thought for a moment as some people got out, and shortly afterwards I pulled my mother by the sleeve of her jacket. I shook her vigorously and begged her to get up. She didn't move and made no move to finally leave the train. I was unsettled and panicked.
"Mum, come on, we're in Riesa! We want to go shopping for Christmas presents. We have to get off the train! Otherwise the train will go on. ... Why don't you get up? What's going on? Why are you looking at me like that? Please say something! Mom!!!"
My producer gave me a diabolical look and told me to sit down again. I should keep my mouth shut and not shout. The people were all looking at us. She pulled me roughly towards her on the seat and held me tight. I slowly calmed down and turned to face her. I looked at her questioningly and didn't know what she was up to. What was she going to do with me? Where did she want to take me? My mother took a deep breath, kneaded her hands and smiled.
"Calm down now, Maja! We're not getting out here. We're not going shopping for Christmas presents either. I was just saying that. We're leaving today. We're going over to the West (FRG). Isn't that a nice surprise? Aren't you happy, my child? Just mom and you! We'll soon be free and start a new life in West Germany. You'll like that, don't you think? Isn't that a great idea, my little one?"
I looked at my mother in horror and got scared. I thought of my siblings Hannah and Henry, my classmates, my best friends Carola and Werner, my class teacher Mrs. S. and my father. I already missed them. Was I never going to see them again? No, that couldn't happen. I struggled to hold back the tears because I didn't want to miss all the people who were dear to me. Sure, Dad often scolded me and I didn't like Hannah as much as my big brother, but I didn't want to leave them for-ever. I also didn't want to lose my father and my friends. I would have preferred it if my parents had made up again and I could have continued to live at home with my siblings and mom and dad. My eyes began to water and I was filled with enormous fear. I cautiously checked with my mother.
"But where are we going if we don't go shopping for Christmas presents, Mum? And what about Hannah and Henry? Why can't they come with us? I don't understand. I can't leave them in the lurch. We're siblings and I love them very much, even if we sometimes quarrel. And what about dad? I'm sure he'll be sad and look for us. We can't just leave without telling him. We can't do that. He'll get angry and scold us. I want to go home, Mum, please! I don't want to go to the West without Dad, my brothers and sisters and my friends. Please let's turn back! I want to go home."
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about Carola and Werner. I had had so many wonderful experiences with them and remembered them. My mother told me to stop crying. I should also keep my head down and be grateful that she was now going to give me a carefree life. Hannah and Henry couldn't come with me and didn't deserve to grow up in the West, she told me. At the time, I didn't know exactly what mother meant when she said that we would start a new life. But I was worried that it might mean never seeing my siblings again. I didn't want that and cried bitterly. She then promised me that I would get sweets every day in the West and that she would get me great toys and clothes if I would just stop crying. She also warned me not to tell anyone that she was running away with me in case we were stopped by the police. No one was to find out that she had taken me with her. It had to remain our secret. I promised, but I couldn't stop thinking about my siblings. I cried again. Mother hissed at me. She hit me hard on the head with the flat of her hand and again demanded that I stop crying. I pulled myself together and tried to distract myself. I thought of all the nice things that mother had promised me a few minutes ago and that I would get from her in the West. She even promised me new friends and assured me that everything would be better in West Germany. I believed her and covered up my sadness. I didn't want to be beaten by her again or scolded. I looked out of the window for the whole journey and played with the raindrops running down the outside of the window with my fingers and hummed. Mother fiddled with the zipper of her handbag. She kept taking documents out of her handbag, checking them and putting them away umpteen times. She repeated this countless times. It was raining cats and dogs outside and it was unusually cold for September. Mother didn't care about me and remained silent the whole journey. When we had to change trains somewhere along the way, the wind whistled in my ears on the platform. I was hungry. My mother had two large cloth bags and her handbag with her. I was carrying my satchel on my back and wondered what Hannah and Henry, my siblings, were doing when our train arrived.
We got on another train. Mother told me that we were now going to Dresden. I just nodded and dutifully followed her into the compartment. The train ride was boring as hell. It was already pitch dark when we finally arrived in Dresden. My hands were freezing cold. Mother took me to a conductor and asked when the next train to Prague was leaving. She kept looking around to make sure no one was following us. In Dresden, after talking to the conductor, she got me something to eat. I asked her what was going to happen next as I spooned up my soup. She was annoyed and didn't feel like making small talk with me. She kept quiet and only gave in when I wouldn't let up. She gave me a fierce look, asked me not to talk while I was eating and hissed at me.
"Shut up at last! You're babbling and babbling. Eat your soup and don't ask so many questions! We'll have to spend the night here at the station if you want to know for sure. Unfortunately, there's no other way. There are no more trains today, Maja. We'll hide when you've finished eating and we have to make sure the police don't find us. Do you understand that, my child? Your father has been given custody of you. If it gets out that I've taken you away, mummy will go to prison and you'll go to a home. Then the dream of the West will be over. Then there'll be no sweets or toys for you. That's why we have to be careful! Got that? The next train to Prague doesn't leave until tomorrow morning. I know that's not very pleasant, Maja. But there's no other way. Don't pull such a long face! We have to spend the night here. You have to hold out for one night and be brave, then we'll make it. I promise you that. You have to be strong and a big girl!"
Of course I didn't want to go to a home and hid with my mother at the station that night. I can't remember where we slept. But I remember that terrible night. I was so cold and the constant rain was terrible. Mom had given me her jacket, but I still didn't get really warm. There was a draught from all sides. My whole body was shaking like a leaf and I was freezing tot he bone. I hardly slept a wink that night and kept thinking about Hannah and Henry. I turned to the other side when I was sad so that mother couldn't see my face. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I folded my little hands and closed my eyes.
Please, dear Lord, I don't actually want all the presents that my mother promised me. Come to think of it, I think the West is stupid. I want to go back to my family, and Mom should come with me, too. I want her and Dad to get along again. I want everything to be okay. Give me back my brothers and sisters, my friends and my teacher! Please!!! I'll always be good and listen to my parents. I promise.
I wiped the tears from my cheeks and sobbed quietly so that my mother wouldn't notice that I was grieving. At some point in the middle of the night, my eyes closed from tiredness. Early in the morning, when it was still dark outside, my mother woke me up very rudely. She jabbed me in the ribs with her sharp elbow and told me to get up. She took me to a bistro at the station. There I was given a hot chocolate and a sandwich. I warmed my little hands on the hot cup for a long time and was so glad that I had finally survived the night of horror. The warm chocolate did me good and warmed me from the inside. I would have liked a second cup of cocoa. But my mother wouldn't let me do that. We had to hurry and not miss our train. I ate my sandwich on the way to the platform. My mother pulled me into the compartment when our train arrived and reassured me.
"There you go, my little girl. Now everything will be fine. You'll see. We just have to make it to the embassy in Prague. Once we're there, we'll be safe and nothing can happen to us. From the camp we're guaranteed to get to the West. They will release us. I promise you that. You'll love it in Prague, and you'll soon make new friends at the embassy and stop feeling sad about your brothers and sisters. Cheer up, my little one! Everything will be fine. I swear to you."
I didn't know what we were supposed to be doing in the Prague embassy, nor did I know what mother was fleeing from. I also wondered what kind of camp it was that we were supposed to seek refuge in. I was worried and hoped that she would be right and that it would be better there than at the station in Dresden that night. I never wanted to have to spend the night at a train station again. I thought that was terrible. And when my mother said it would be better now, I believed her. But I asked her how far Prague was from home? When she replied that it was very far away and far enough that father would never be able to find us again, I became sad and thoughtful again. We had only been away for a day and I already missed my siblings and friends terribly. But I pulled myself together and didn't cry. I wondered if Dad, Henry and Hannah missed me as much as I did at the time. I had no way of knowing at the time that they did. I only found out later from my siblings what happened at home the night my mother kidnapped me and what my father did to find me. Hannah and Henry's world fell apart when they found out that my mother had taken me. My siblings say that the time without me was the worst time of their childhood. They suffered a lot from my abduction. Not a day went by when they didn't miss me. Many tears were shed when I was away. I will now tell you how unbearable it was for Hannah and Henry without me.
Hannah and Dad were at home that morning when I was kidnapped. The day turned into her worst nightmare. Mother had announced her arrival that morning to collect some personal belongings that she had not yet taken with her after the divorce. Our father wondered why she was only now, months later, coming to collect her personal belongings. She didn't answer his question. Mother didn't take any clothes or anything from the household. Only a handbag was important to her, and she rummaged through the cupboards for papers and documents. Father was puzzled by this and it made him angry. Our parents quarrelled again that morning. My father asked my mother to hurry up. He kept looking at his watch while yelling at her. He also reminded her not to forget to take her aprons and clothes with her. He had to go to the lunch shift and he was uncomfortable visiting our producer. She took her time and insulted him as a criminal, child abuser and wife beater. After the argument, she picked out something nice to wear, cleaned the hallway and went to take a bath at our house. Dad shook his head and thought there were more important things to do than clean the stairwell. He didn't understand what it all meant. He wondered who she was styling herself for? Hannah asked her mother if she could come with her? She found her mother's behavior strange. She had a bad feeling. She wanted to go shopping in Riesa. She asked what exactly Mom had planned with Maja and why she wasn't allowed to come? Mom put on an artificial smile and looked at Hannah.
"No! You're not coming with me! And don't bug me, child! I don't know yet what I'm going to do with Maja when we get to Riesa. It'll be great, and we'll get presents for you and your brother. Don't worry! I can't take you with me, Hannah. ... No!!! You're ill and have to stay with your dad and Henry! It's too much for me with two children. I'm only going with Maja today. Next time I'll take you with me. Don't be sad and take care, Hannah."
My mother closed the front door behind her and quickly disappeared. My little sister had a strange feeling in her stomach and was worried about me. She ran out onto the balcony. She stood there for a while with Dad, watching Mother walk through the old colony with two cloth bags in her hands and her handbag on her shoulder. They watched her until she was out of sight. My little sister's tears rolled down her cheeks and she sobbed as she looked at Dad.
"I don't know what she's up to, Dad, but I won't be seeing Maja again. That's what my gut tells me. She's not taking her shopping for Christmas presents. That's a lie. I can feel it. My sister isn't coming back. She'll never come home. You have to warn Maja and pick her up from school! You have to stop Mother from taking her away! She's up to no good. Now! Please run after her, Dad!"
Dad just waved her off and asked Hannah not to talk such nonsense. He thought it was ridiculous what his youngest daughter was claiming and imagining.
"What nonsense, Hannah. Where did you come up with such nonsense? You'll see that Maja will be sitting at the dinner table at home again tonight. I'm sure she'll bring you something to snack on. Want to bet? Don't drive yourself crazy, sunshine! You're starting to see ghosts. It would be kidnapping if your mother did that. And why would she take Maja with her? She didn't want you in the divorce and has never had any love for you. She even gave up her first two sons to the home back then. ... A kidnapping? That's ridiculous. Your mother won't do that. I wouldn't put it past her, but kidnapping? No. She's certainly not doing that, my child. Calm down!"
He stroked Hannah's hair and went to the lunch shift. My sister didn't move. She stood on the balcony and looked down at the old colony. She told her brother Henry when he came home from school what had happened that morning and that she was convinced Mother was planning something terrible. He couldn't imagine that Maja wouldn't come back and went to his room. Late that evening, Hannah was still standing on the balcony looking down at the old colony. Dad couldn't understand why she was awake and staying there in the cold. He was afraid that she would catch a cold and get a fever again, as she had done in the last few days. He wanted to take my little sister to her room. She reacted stubbornly, clung to the banister, cried and screamed that Maja was gone. Dad ran into Maja's room and found that she wasn't in her bed. Henry was standing next to him in the hallway. He had tears in his eyes.
"She's not here, Father. Maja hasn't come home. Maybe Hannah's right?"
Dad looked for me in every room and then shouted at his son in the hallway.
"Where is she? Where the hell is my daughter? Why isn't she home by now? Where is your mother and where the hell is my child?"
Henry lowered his head and looked sadly at the floor. Hannah shouted at her father.
"I told you straight away that we wouldn't see Maja again, Dad! Mother ran off with her! She's never coming back! Never again! We've lost Maja forever. It's all your fault. You should never have allowed her to go away with Mum and you didn't believe me. Get my Maja back! I want my sister back now. She's gone. Forever! Forever, Dad. We've lost her."
Hannah couldn't calm down. She ran out onto the balcony, looked back into the old colony and screamed.
"Maja!!!! Please, you have to come back! Maja, where are you? Please come back. Please!!!"
Dad dragged Hannah off the balcony and sat her on the couch in the living room. Then he told Henry that he was going to go to mother's parents' house to find out where we were. He was sure they knew something. Hannah and Henry prayed that I was with Grandma and Grandpa and that Dad would come back with me. Dad had asked his youngest daughter to go to bed before he left. She didn't sleep a wink and was nervous.
He came home in the middle of the night with teary eyes. Grandma and Grandpa didn't know where I had gone or where my mother had taken me. They could only say that their daughter had been visiting them a few days earlier and had told them that she would soon be leaving to start a new life. She had mumbled something about ''Prague''. Grandma and Grandpa hadn't questioned exactly what she meant by her statements and hadn't thought anything more of it. Their daughter talked all day long.
Father didn't understand at first when he heard about the conversation from his parents-in-law. Mother told a lot of lies. Her parents were aware of this and didn't take everything their daughter said at face value. Father then realized that his ex-wife was planning to leave the GDR with Maja. A world collapsed for Hannah and Henry. Mother had kidnapped me, and now my siblings were never going to see me again? Dad sat down at the kitchen table with both children. All three of them had to come to terms with the abduction and cried for me. The initial shock was profound. That night, Dad had asked neighbors and acquaintances in the neighborhood if they had noticed anything? No one could tell him where Maja was and no one had noticed anything. He apologized to the people for bothering them at such a late hour. The neighbors were understanding and kept their fingers crossed that I would turn up again and that it was all just a misunderstanding.
The next morning, Dad went straight to the police and reported me missing. Hannah and Henry were allowed to stay at home for the time being. They were now both on sick leave. They were in a very bad way and they cried for me every day. They wanted their Maja back. Dad often stroked my photo, which was on the wall in the living room, and promised that he would get his fat little Maja back. He swore to himself and his children that he would. My siblings hoped so with all their hearts.
When Hannah went back to school a few days later, she told her what had happened at home. Her teachers showed a lot of understanding for the little girl. There was also great sadness in my class when my father made his way to my class teacher, Mrs. S., and told her the bad news. She was shocked, shocked and horrified that I had been abducted by my own mother. Carola and Werner were terrified that they wouldn't see me, their best friend, again. Mrs. S. informed all my classmates about the sad incident. The classroom fell silent and everyone made a worried face. That's what my teacher Mrs. S. told me when I met her again. I also found Carola and Werner again. And there was also a class reunion with almost all my classmates in the past. It was very nice to meet them again. At this meeting, my former classmates told me how terrible it was for them when they found out that I had been kidnapped. Hannah and Henry walked around like ghosts for the first few weeks after my abduction. Their eyes were swollen from crying and they didn't eat enough. They got up in the morning, brushed their teeth and cried incessantly. After lessons in the afternoon, they lay down in their beds and cried their eyes out. During this difficult time, they hardly had an appetite and didn't feel like doing anything outside with other kids. They thought about me all the time and feared that they would never see me again. As soon as a neighbor opened her front door and politely asked if there was any news about me, they started to cry. They answered in the negative with a shake of the head and Hannah called out to a neighbor:
"No, she's gone. Forever. Maja must be living in a big city now. Dad thinks Berlin. We won't be able to find her again. Berlin is so big. Dad says that the search for Maja is difficult. Like looking for a needle in a haystack. That's how Henry and I are supposed to think of it. It's pointless. He still won't give up, but he's afraid he won't find her. And so are we. We've probably lost her forever. That hurts so much. We miss her every day. We have to think about her all the time and hope that she's okay. We don't understand why mother did it. Dad says it's the worst thing you can do to children. Separating siblings hurts so much. I think he's right. It hurts so much here."
The neighbor was heartbroken when Hannah stood in front of her and pointed her fingers at her little heart. She then took my sister in her arms and comforted her.
"I know, Hannah, and I'm so terribly sorry for you. I can imagine how great the pain must be deep in your heart. But you have to stay confident, do you hear me? The police and your dad will definitely find your sister. Then everything will be all right again. You just have to keep believing! Please don't give up hope that Maja will be found!"
Hannah wiped her tears on her jacket sleeve, nodded, gave him a big hug and went to school with Henry. She hoped that the neighbor was right. My older brother and she withdrew completely and just mourned at home. They no longer even voluntarily went out with friends when they visited them. Their grief was too great. Father often cursed. That was the last thing a mother could do to her children. Our mother had taken Hannah and Henry's Maja and torn us siblings apart without thinking about the damage she was doing. He was constantly berating us at home.
"I'm going to get my fat little Maja back. I will find your mother and then God have mercy on her. She will atone for her mistake and pay dearly. She will get her receipt for what she has done to us. I promise you that."
Hannah and Henry agreed with Dad and immediately burst into tears again. Every time they thought of me or looked at a photo of me, they couldn't suppress their pain. I'm really sorry about that.
Hannah couldn't calm down at all and cried bitterly. Her two teachers were concerned about my sister. They took her by the hand and took her to another room. They had intense conversations with Hannah and encouraged her that she would see me again one day. At the time, my little sister couldn't imagine that she would ever be able to hold me in her arms again and tell me how much she loved me. Hannah and Henry swear to this day that this was the worst time in their lives, when mother tore us apart without notice. The pain was unbearable for them and pure horror.
Henry often lay on his bed after class and stared at the ceiling. He would listen to music on his Walkman for hours. He would cry to himself and not talk to anyone. He also suffered a lot from the fact that his favorite sister was no longer with him. He had always gone to school with me. Now he had to walk to school alone, could no longer share our common hobby of listening to music with me and felt lost in the world. He was very scared that something might happen to me and often kept quiet. Hannah later told me that Dad didn't scold my siblings much during this time. "Someone has to stay strong," he always said. He also had to constantly remind Hannah and Henry to eat something when he had cooked. He didn't want them to lose any more weight. He cared about my siblings' well-being back then. He didn't even scold them when Hannah and Henry got bad marks at school because of their many absences. He thought it was understandable and he wasn't surprised after Maja had been taken away from them. That's what he told Hannah and Henry's teachers when he was invited to talk to them at school.
And what happened to me after that horrible night at the station in Dresden?
