Coming to Terms E-Book

Dar Briexo

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Erotik
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Beschreibung

Sarah has a great job.  A great career.  Great romantic prospects.  As a senior product manager at company that's about to be bought in the next six months, she's about to see her life take off.  

But somehow, she isn't fulfilled.   Sometimes...she's just lonely. 

Every time she meets a great guy... 

Things just seem to fizzle out.  

But then she meets Chase.  

Just a few years younger than Sarah, she's got lustrous, curly black hair and full red lips.  And her smile makes Sarah's whole world light up.  

Will Sarah be able to pursue the sparks that fly between her and Chase?  Or will fear hold her back from finding true love? 

Coming to Terms is a brand new standalone lesbian romance with strong erotic themes. 

Leseprobe

Dar Briexo

Coming to Terms

BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 Munich

Title Page

Coming to Terms

c. 2016 Dar Briexo

All Rights Reserved

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Title Page

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 1

Part 1

Staring out the window, Sarah wished her mood matched the bright sunny day. It had earlier but her lunch date had been yet another in a long line of disappointing dates. She met him at a friend's party over the weekend and when they discovered that they both worked down by the waterfront, they decided to meet for lunch. He was handsome enough for Sarah to find interesting. At the busy party they had chatted for a while and he seemed nice too. Towards the end of the party, he finally asked her to lunch and she agreed.

Nothing had gone wrong at lunch. He was indeed nice and they had an enjoyable time. Dressed for work, he was just as good looking. Sarah knew that if she brought him home, her mother would fall in love with him. The fact that he was a lawyer would just be the icing on the cake. And clearly he found her attractive. Being tall himself, he wasn't put off by her height. At six feet, Sarah was used to that being an issue. But to compensate for it she had a long sleek body. Her legs usually were the first thing that someone noticed, when she showed them off which wasn't often. Even with a conservative knee length skirt like today, they still caught his eye. The rest of her body was nice but it wasn't curvy the way most men liked. Sarah was only an A-cup although that didn't bother her. On her body, Sarah didn't think anything much more would look good. Still they didn't garner her any attention. She had narrow hips that Sarah often thought were more like a boy's and her ass was nice and tight if small. Her face was pretty with dark brown eyes and high cheekbones framed by her long coffee colored hair. She let her hair cover parts of her face as if to help avoid notice. It didn't work with her lunch date. He made it clear that he found her attractive.

But for Sarah, without the assistance of alcohol, it wasn't the same. While still recognizing he was a good looking guy, she just didn't feel any spark. Despite really wanting to find one, Sarah was honest enough with herself to admit it. Having felt it before, she wasn't willing to settle for less. It may have been with she was 18 and in high school, but it didn't change what she was wanted.

When he asked her to go out that weekend, she begged off with the excuse that she had plans for both Friday and Saturday nights. It was only a half lie. She had plans with some friends for Friday night, but nothing on Saturday. He promised to call early next week to see if she was free. Sarah smiled non-committedly; secure in knowing it was always easier to say she wasn't interested on the phone than in person.

It was just as well that Sarah had not mentioned him to her mother when they talked on Sunday. She had been tempted when her mom started to complain that she was the only one of her friends without grandchildren yet. It was a familiar refrain. The height of her mother's ambition for Sarah was getting married and having kids. Sarah's graduation as one of the top three MBA students in her class didn't carry much weight with her mother. If anything, she felt it inhibited her ability to attract a man.

"Honey, men want someone they can take care of, not someone who puts their career first. They want a wife who makes family and faith her priority," she kept telling Sarah. Those had been enough for her and her mother saw no reason it should not be the same for Sarah.

At least her father was a little better. He recognized how hard she had worked in school and in finding a job with a fast rising start up. Even though she had fielded offers from the biggest high tech firms in town, Sarah had decided to take a risk. It was paying off now. At only 26, she was the senior product manager with a fair amount of equity in a company that was likely to be bought in the next six months by one of the companies she had turned down. It had taken a lot of hard work. Most of the time, Sarah was thankful she wasn't trying to juggle a relationship while working 11 and 12 hour days, plus time on the weekends. But she wasn't thankful all the time. Sometimes she was just lonely.

The last person that Sarah dated for any length of time had been back in grad school. Even then she had known it wasn't going anywhere. Grayson was a fellow student and mostly it was just convenient. He was planning on going to New York after graduation. He would have liked it if she wanted to come, but he also wasn't broken up about Sarah's decision to stay in Seattle. Even though he had lacked that spark she was looking for, at least Sarah enjoyed his company. Since then she hadn't met anyone with whom she had really connected. There had been a couple of one-night stands during the first year after leaving school, but she didn't feel good about them. For Sarah, sex was connected with feelings. Even though she didn't love Grayson, she liked and cared for him.

As the dry spell lengthened, Sarah admitted that she wasn't trying too hard. What was the point if she didn't feel that initial spark? Sarah could not see herself really falling for someone if that was not there from the start. Her friends thought she was setting the bar too high but it had been that way in high school. Sarah felt the spark and fell head over heels in love. It had been the best time of her life. It was why she was sure it could happen again.

Remembering always made Sarah depressed. She did her best to push the memories to the side and get back to work. Experience taught her that it was the best way to get through the pain. Luckily there was always more work to do.

It was three hours later when Sarah realized that someone had come into her little office. Engrossed as she was in the customer research report, Sarah took a few moments to finish highlighting one more sentence. When she raised her head, she immediately flushed a little. It was her boss, the Vice-President of Marketing and one of the company founders. Sarah was thankful that Jim was someone without too big of an ego. She didn't mean any disrespect and was fairly sure that he wouldn't think she had.

"Sorry Jim, I didn't want to lose my place," Sarah started to say before he waved her to silence.

"You did right. This is no big deal. We finally replaced Peggy and I wanted to introduce her to you," Jim said. Peggy had been his assistant but had to leave when her husband was transferred. Like everyone, Jim was used to having to wear several hats and replacing Pegging hadn't been a priority. Having a vacancy meant he could hire another marketer. It worked until the CEO complained that the real work wasn't getting done because Jim was spending too much time doing the things that Peggy had handled. Under strict instructions, Jim started looking for a new assistant.

Sarah had been aware of all that. She just hadn't realized that he was at the point of actually hiring someone. Sarah hoped she would be good. Peggy had kept things running smoothly and her absence had been felt. Like a number of others, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief when Jim was ordered to replace Peggy.

Jim stepped back out the door so that there was space. Coming into the doorway was a young woman. "This is Chase," Jim said from behind her. Like Sarah, Jim was tall and she could easily seem him towering over the new woman. "Chase, this is Sarah. You've heard me talk about her. She's our number one Product Manager. Employee number 12, isn't it?" he said.

Sarah nodded as she stared at Chase. She was extremely good looking. Sarah guessed that Chase was a few years younger than she was. She had a perfectly shaped triangular face with high cheekbones and framed with lustrous curly black hair. Her full red lips curled upward into a genuine smile. She had brilliant blue eyes that lit up along with her smile, making it seem to touch her whole face. Chase was quite short and petite, although her breasts were fairly big for her size, and along with her hips gave her a classic hour-glass figure.

Looking at the gorgeous woman in front of her, Sarah was struck dumb for a moment. She only had a reaction like that twice in her life. Finally, she stood up and reached her hand out. "It's nice to meet you, Chase. Welcome to the family," she said. Sarah towered over the other woman. At six feet, she was used to feeling tall but she had to be close to a foot taller than Chase.

"It's great to meet you. Jim has been telling me all about you in the interviews. You sure have done a lot!" Chase replied. Her voice sounded more grown up than she looked. It was strong but still with a potent sexy undertone. It sent a second little rush through Sarah.

"He exaggerates. It's the team that gets things done," Sarah said as she blushed. Both Jim and Chase thought it was from the praise. She let them think that.

"Well we should let you get back to work," Jim told Sarah. "Oh, but I was hoping that you would take Chase to lunch tomorrow. I want her to get to know the key people as soon as possible."

Sarah tried to keep her eyes on Jim as she responded. She didn't want to stare any more at Chase. "Sure, I'd be happy to," she said as she sat down. It didn't normally bother her, but she felt relieved to no longer be standing. She was used to it, but today she felt awkward again, like back in high school.

"I'm looking forward to it," Chase told her as she looked her in the eyes and once again Sarah found herself trapped looking at her. If anything, Chase's smile got warmer. When she turned to walk away, Sarah's eyes were caught by the sight of her heart shaped rear. Nervously she shifted her eyes back to the report and tried to pick up where she had left off.

Thoughts of Chase kept intruding and making it hard to concentrate. And they weren't just thoughts of Chase. Long suppressed memories came back. Sighing deeply, Sarah swiveled to face towards the window; while keeping the pretense that she was still reading. She wasn't. Sarah just gazed out the window, lost in her thoughts.

Growing up in a small town north of Seattle, Sarah had always been expected to fit into the norms of the society there. Her parents were the pillars of their small fundamentalist church. God was part of their life on a daily basis. When she was young, Sarah never questioned that. She attended Sunday school and learned all the Bible stories by heart.

Faith is the belief in something when there isn't proof and until she was eleven, nothing happened to make Sarah question her faith in God. Then her older brother was killed in a head-on collision with a drunk driver.

Sarah had idolized her brother. David was seven years older and had always been a good guy. Very athletic and smart, he had been the captain of most of his sports teams. He was good looking too. Although he would have gotten dates with any of the girls in his high school, he had a steady girlfriend through most of it. Even though he took some ribbing from his friends, they had waited to have sex. He wasn't sure if he has going to wait until marriage but he didn't want to rush it. Like the rest of the family, Sarah's brother took his faith in God seriously.

When faced with a senseless death, a person of faith can emerge from the test strengthened; tempered by the ability to find solace in the knowledge that things happen as part of God's plan. For Sarah's parents, this is what happened, especially her mother. She pulled herself through it by immersing herself in the church, surrounded by her friends there. If there was ever a moment when her mother questioned, Sarah never saw it.

It wasn't so easy for Sarah. She was extremely bright. There hadn't been a grade when she wasn't the top student in the school. Her mind was already highly analytical and, to her parents' dismay, rational. Before the accident, there had been nothing to cause her to examine her faith. But now that she did, Sarah couldn't help find fault with it. She wanted to understand why the brother she loved so much had been taken away. There had to be a reason.

For as long as she could remember, Sarah had been told that her life was part of God's Plan. He made all things happen. For the most part as a child, God had been a warm loving god. Little of what she had been taught up to then contradicted that. Now she faced the ultimate test of faith: why do bad things happen to good people.

With her parents struggling to cope, Sarah couldn't talk to them. In any case, they fell back on simplistic answers that didn't satisfy Sarah. She felt fortunate that the pastor of their church was a grandfatherly man who was very approachable. After Sunday services, Sarah sought him out and asked if he didn't have some time when they could talk. They agreed on Sarah coming by after school the next day. When she told her parents, they were both assumed that she was turning to the church for comfort and were pleased.

The next day Sarah met the pastor in the chapel. He listened patiently as she told him about not understanding how God could do that to her family. They had always lived their lives according to His rules. No one had a bad thing to say about her brother.

"How could God kill him?" Sarah said in the end. The pastor was surprised at how calm Sarah was. At her age he expected her to be more emotional, but she really wanted to understand. Unfortunately, his answers did not satisfy Sarah any more than her parents'.

It wasn't that she didn't understand his point that God may test people so that they would be able to see how strong their faith was and to help it grow stronger. She already saw that happening with her parents. It was that it brought her no comfort for the loss of her brother. If losing her brother was the price, Sarah could not see that it was worth the cost.

Nor did it help to hear the pastor's assurance that while she couldn't know God's plan, she needed to know that in the end it was all for a greater good. In the pain of the moment, Sarah could not understand how any good could come from her brother's death. More than that, she didn't want to. David had been a shining example of all that was good. What type of god would sacrifice him to prove a point?

In the end, Sarah had mouthed the words her pastor said, but she couldn't accept them. From then on, she found it increasingly hard to reconcile her feelings with the church. Because of her parents' increased devotion, Sarah kept her doubts to herself. And even with their belief, living with the loss was excruciating for all of them. Sarah didn't want to add to her parents' stress.

About the same time, Sarah was starting to notice that she felt different from her friends. While they were starting to notice boys, Sarah's feelings didn't seem to be changing. She didn't grasp the crushes that developed and then changed as quickly as they formed. She still preferred to spend time with her girlfriends and felt uncomfortable in joining in the gossip about who liked whom.

If anything, Sarah found that her attention was caught by some of the girls in her class in the same way that they talked about boys. It embarrassed her. Even more, it confused her. She wasn't sure why she noticed them or what she wanted. And unfortunately there was no one that Sarah could talk to about these feelings.

The more her parents found solace in religion, the more doctrinaire they became. They started to get active in pro-life groups. And they were vocal in deploring the emerging tolerance for gay lifestyles. In their minds, homosexuality was an abomination and accepting it as normal was an example of how America had lost its moral compass. While Sarah didn't quite equate her feelings with homosexuality, there was still no way she could talk to either of her parents about them. Plus she was going out of her way to make things as easy as possible for them. Losing their son took them almost to the breaking point.

There weren't any other adults around that Sarah felt comfortable enough with to talk to them. Their circle of friends mostly revolved around their church. None of the ones she knew well enough to go to for advice were likely to be any more open minded than her parents.

As for her friends in school, Sarah lived in dread that anyone would think she was different. Like any school, cliques formed and they could be vicious to outsiders. And more than once, Sarah had seen what happened to girls within the clique who violated the accepted standard for behavior. Sarah was in with a group of popular girls and she didn't want to do anything to lose them. Getting through losing her brother had brought her much closer to her girlfriends. It scared her to think about not having their support.

So Sarah struggled through the confused feelings on her own, always hiding them. There were enough other changes for her. She was starting to get the growth spurts that would make her the tallest girl in school until she joined the much larger high school. She felt awkward and ungainly as she tried to adjust to her changing body. Then shortly after she turned twelve, she got her first period. Unlike some of her friends, at least it happened on a weekend and she was saved embarrassment at school.

Her body was changing in other ways as well. The most obvious was that her breasts started to get bigger. At least here she was relieved when they never got too big. While she didn't get as busty as some of her friends, her whole circle of friends including Sarah attracted the attention of boys. How welcome that attention was depended upon the girl. Still in her effort to be normal, it reassured Sarah to find the boys paying attention to her. When she was with a group of her friends, Sarah joined in the mild flirting that went on with groups of boys. None of them had taken it beyond that when fifth grade ended.

With her parents feeling more distant, Sarah found herself spending more time with her friends during the summer break before starting middle school. Frequently that meant sleepovers. More and more the topic of conversation turned to boys. They went on and on about who liked which boy and which girl they thought each boy liked. A couple confessed to having had their first kisses as the summer progressed.

Sarah tried to participate. To not to do so would have marked her as different. When pressed on which boys she liked most, she chose safe ones, who were the objects of much admiration while confessing that they would never be interested in her. Since the other girls also liked those boys, they didn't try too hard to convince her that she was wrong. The rare times that anyone pressed her harder, she would bring up her brother as to why it was difficult to think too much about boys. That shut up her friends.

One night in early August, Sarah was at a sleepover with four other girls. Most weren't her best friends. A number of the girls with whom she was closest were on family vacations. Another girl named Dawn was one of the few really close friends who were still around. The sleepover was at her house.

They had stayed up quite late talking about boys as usual. The other three girls were all ones who had confessed over the summer to sneaking away to kiss boys. Most of the night they had been bragging about how much more grownup they were than Dawn and Sarah. For the most part, they were good natured about it but every once in a while, one of them would make a snide comment. It didn't bother Sarah but Dawn seemed increasingly hurt by them.

When everyone finally crashed for the night, the other girls seemed to fall asleep without any problem. For Sarah it was very different. She lay on her back wondering why she couldn't get obsessed like her friends. The idea of kissing a boy seemed just as unwelcome today as it had in the third grade. Most of the time boys were rude and arrogant. While she recognized which boys were cutest, there was no strong natural attraction on her part.

Like sometimes with the other girls, Sarah tried to blame the loss of her brother as to why she was different. It made her feel more vulnerable and alone. She also was very wary about having her feelings hurt. Deep down, however, she knew it wasn't true. Feeling this way had started before David's death. She had even talked to him once about it. He was the only person she had ever opened up to about boys. But he hadn't helped much. He assured her that everyone grows up at their own pace. One day she would wake up boy crazy, like every other girl. David smiled and told her that he was glad that she wasn't there yet. It was much easier not to have to worry about her and boys.

It was almost a year since they had that talk. As she lay in her sleeping bag, Sarah wondered if her brother would ever be proven right. It worried her that it hadn't already happened. Maybe it never would was the thought that kept her awake. She sighed and rolled over, trying to find a little more comfortable spot.

"Suz?" Dawn whispered. Sarah was sleeping right beside Dawn's bed.

"Yeah?"

"Are you awake?" Dawn asked and then giggled as she realized how silly her question was.

Sarah giggled too before answering. "No, I'm sleeping like a baby," she said which prompted another round of giggling.

"Shhh," Dawn finally said. "I think the others really are sleeping. I don't want to wake them." They both were quiet for a minute as they listened. The steady breaths of the other three girls confirmed that they were indeed asleep.

Slipping out of her bed, Dawn kneelt down next to Sarah and whispered in her ear. "Follow me." She stood up and quietly crept to the door and waited for Sarah. Curious about what her friend wanted, Sarah got up and followed her. They made their way through the darkened house to the family room. When Dawn sat down on the couch, Sarah sat down close beside her so that they could both talk as quietly as possible.

"I get so tired of them bragging about how they are kissing before us. Don't you?" Dawn asked.

Sarah hesitated before answering. The truth was she was tired of the whole topic but she didn't want to tell Dawn that. "Yeah, so tired," was all Sarah said.

"I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about it and I heard you sighing and turning over. I figured you were having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason." Dawn paused expectantly.

Again, Sarah didn't want to let on what really was bothering her. She simply replied, "Yeah."

"I think I want to kiss a boy, you know like Billy," Dawn said, mentioning one of the boys she had confessed to liking. "But I know I won't be the first girl he's kissed. I don't want him to know he's my first, you know?"

Not sure where Dawn was going, Sarah nodded. There was enough light from the back porch that they could see each other now that their eyes had adjusted. Sarah could see Dawn nervously fidgeting.

"I was thinking. You have the same problem, no experience. Maybe we could practice a little together just so we know what to do," Dawn said in a very tentative voice. It was clear that she was worried about how her friend would react.

"You want to kiss me?" Sarah asked in surprise. At the same time, she felt her heart start to beat a little faster. It wasn't just surprise making her voice quiver. She just hoped that Dawn did not notice.

"Just so we don't look like total dorks when we kiss our first boys. Not because I want to kiss a girl!" Dawn's voice sounded slightly indignant as she said the last bit.

"Of course not! Me neither!" Sarah instantly replied. She felt like Dawn must be able to see through her lie but apparently she was convincing.

"So do you want to try now?" Dawn asked, her hesitant tone returning.

"Now?" squeaked Sarah. She could feel her hands get a little moist as her nervousness grew. She wasn't entirely sure she did want to try. "What if I enjoy it too much?" she thought to herself.

"Yeah now. When else will we have the chance and the nerve?" Dawn told her.

Sarah could never remember how long their practice went on. It seemed like a wonderful dream to her. Their first attempts were clumsy and completely embarrassing but slowly they got better. Surprisingly Sarah often led them in exploring. When they finally stopped, she was mostly worried that she had been too enthusiastic but it didn't seem like it had bothered Dawn. Both of them were feeling very tired and agreed that they should go back to bed.

"Thanks for teaching me how to kiss," Sarah said

"You didn't need much teaching, Suz, You are going to make the guys who get to kiss you very happy!" Dawn replied.

"The boys are going to like your kisses too, Dawn," Sarah told her as she got up. Her thoughts were jumbled up and she welcomed going back to bed. It was safer.

Once they settled back down, it seemed to Sarah that Dawn fell quickly asleep. Her breathing became steady and Sarah couldn't hear any movement. It was much harder for her. Sarah lay there, unable to lose the memory of Dawn's lips on hers. They haunted her and it wasn't until sometime around 2 AM that she fell into an exhausted sleep.

While Sarah remained good friends with Dawn for a couple of years, neither one of them ever brought up that night. When they went off to middle school, Dawn was one of the first girls to find a boyfriend. Most of Sarah's circle of girlfriends were timid like Sarah and did not start going out for a year or two. Over time, Dawn just started to move in a different circle of friends and they saw each other less and less.

Sarah's first date was late in her 7th grade year with a boy she knew from church. Both of her parents became much more protective of her after David died. In general, they frowned on her forming any attachment with boys during middle school. The 9:30 curfew they imposed was part of that. In truth, Sarah did not mind. She still joined in with her friends to talk about boys, but her enthusiasm remained low. When her girlfriends started to go steady, Sarah used the excuse that her parents wouldn't let her as an excuse to never get to close to any one of the boys.

That did not stop Sarah from experimenting with kissing a few of the nicest boys. Whenever she let it happen, Sarah would kiss them like she had kissed Dawn, hoping to recapture that excitement and feeling of longing. The truth was that every kiss seemed to be lacking in comparison. Sarah never felt that longing for something more.

When Sarah went to high school, it was a bit of a shock. Through eighth grade, her classmates had all been from the same small town. She knew most of them very well. The high school served a big area and it was hard for her to adjust. She already felt like she didn't fit in at times. The big school magnified that feeling. Sarah had continued to excel in her classes and she end up taking all honors and AP classes. Since only a few of her friends were in them, she found herself outside her normal social circle. Making new ones was the same challenge it had always been.

The adjustment was even harder given her height. By 9th grade, Sarah had adjusted to having such a tall body. Most of the time she had a good grasp on where her body was and she was no longer as ungainly as even one year before. Still it was yet one more way for her to feel different. Sarah would have liked to be short enough to hide; instead, it was impossible to avoid notice.

While she maintained her friendships with many of the girls from her hometown, very slowly Sarah built up a new group of friends. Many of them were from her honors classes while others were girls she got to know on the volleyball team. As soon as the girls' sports coaches saw her, they all wanted Sarah to play on their teams. Unfortunately for the basketball coach, Sarah did not have much of an aptitude and even less enthusiasm. With volleyball, Sarah was at least a fair talent and she enjoyed it. When combined with her height, she ended up being on the varsity team all four years of high school. Sarah really was more interested in having it on her record for colleges to see, but it was still fun and she formed some good friendships.

There was one thing about being tall that Sarah did not mind. Through most of high school, she was taller than a high percentage of the boys. A relatively small group of guys was interested in dating someone who was taller than they were. Even when she was shorter, a lot of them still preferred to go out with average height girls. It didn't bother Sarah very much. It was a natural excuse as to why she did not date much.

Even though she lived in a small conservative rural area, Sarah was not naïve. Gay awareness was not big around there but still Sarah recognized that her attraction to girls might just be who she was. Certainly she wasn't finding that her interest in boys was growing. Her brother had been wrong about that. Sarah felt like an outsider in yet another way.

It might not have been so hard if she had anyone with whom to talk, but all her friends seemed to be happy with their boyfriends. In addition, the last thing Sarah wanted was for others to see her as different. Being the tall geeky brain was bad enough without people calling her a lesbian. There had been a rumor that the principal was going to designate one counsellor as a gay ally to give students someone they could talk to. But some of the parents got wind of the rumor and went to the school board. That put an end to any further talk of gay allies.

What made it worst of all for Sarah was that her parents were among the complaining parents. Her mother was actually one of the leaders. Already scared that her parents would discover how she felt, Sarah was even more closed after that.

Continuing her pattern from middle school, Sarah dated a couple of different boys from church. Unlike some of the other boys from church, the guys she went out with were devout believers. They had signed chastity pledges, just like Sarah, and they took them seriously. The most that she ever did was kiss and she felt no pressure to do anything else. Her parents were happy with her dating experience, although for somewhat different reasons.

In particular, her mother was just happy that her daughter was a good girl who rejected the immoral ways of too many of her friends. There were a number who had even gotten pregnant. Mostly it was just rumors, but some of the girls went through with their pregnancies. Dawn was one of them. As soon as she heard, Sarah's mother had forbidden her from doing anything more with Dawn. Loyal to her friends, Sarah just made sure that her mom did not find out about the times when she hung out with Dawn. She wasn't going to drop her friend, even though they had drifted apart. Dawn needed friends and Sarah didn't let her down.

More important to her mom was the idea that Sarah would stay a virgin until she was married and the settle down to raise a family. After all, she had been a housewife and had a pretty happy life, except for the tragedy. If anything that only made her want to see Sarah married more. By now her son might have had children and she really wanted grandbabies.

Sarah's father had a different perspective. Although a very religious man, he recognized how the world had changed. Few families could get by on a single income. A woman who was completely dependent upon her husband was in an unenviable position. He wanted his daughter to be able to take care of herself, just in case. And today that meant college which would be hard for him to afford. When Sarah put studying ahead of boys, he heartily agreed and even supported her when his wife pestered Sarah to go out on dates. Anything that improved her chance at a scholarship was fine with him.

For most of her time in high school, the balance that Sarah was seeking worked. Looking back later, she realized she wasn't particularly happy, but at least she wasn't unhappy either. It seemed like a fair bargain at the time. Things could have been much worse.

The equilibrium in Sarah's life was finally thrown off during her senior year. A new girl named Chloe transferred into school. The fact that she moved there from Los Angeles caught everyone's interest but no one more than Sarah. She found herself fascinated by Chloe.

They met on Chloe's first day of school. Her mother had been through a divorce and moved back in with her parents who still lived in Sarah's small town. It turned out their mothers knew each other growing up which made it logical for Sarah to be asked to show Chloe around.

It did not take much for them to become friends. They were both discontented with the stifling life of their small town; Chloe because she missed Los Angeles and Sarah because she longed to breakout. Although Chloe tried to adopt an image of indifference to school, the truth was that she was smart and did very well in the same honors and AP classes as Sarah. The two of them started to spend more and more of their time together.

Although they were both 18, physically Sarah and Chloe were close to opposites. While Sarah was tall and slender with dark eyes and long dark brown hair, Chloe was short and curvy with sapphire blue eyes to go with her short blonde hair. She was not overly buxom but she definitely had a lot more there than Sarah did. The rest of her was also much more rounded than Sarah. The first time that Sarah had met her, Sarah was stunned by how good looking she was. She was so tongue-tied, just talking was hard to do. Chloe was so nice that it didn't last, but Sarah always remembered how that first time felt.

The fact that she came from Los Angeles, combined with her good looks, meant that almost every guy in the high school lusted after Chloe. Even the ones with steady girlfriends would try to flirt with her. It did not take long for them to find out that Chloe had no interest. It was like hitting a brick wall. Sarah watched as Chloe shut down every one of them. Most of the time, Chloe was pleasant about the unwanted attention. The attached guys got the worst of it. She did not seem to mind humiliating them.

"What a scumbag," Chloe told Sarah after she harshly shot down a boy who was dating one of the cheerleaders. "He's got a gorgeous girlfriend; yet it isn't enough. I hate how they all act like I'm easy just because I'm from LA."

"Not all of them have girlfriends. Don't any of them interest you?" Sarah asked. She was actually glad. Having become good friends, she didn't really want to have to share Chloe with a boyfriend.

"Well, the truth is that I was kind of going out with someone back home. We didn't make any promises but I'm trying to be faithful," Chloe told her. It seemed to Sarah that Chloe's face was slightly guarded, as if there was more to it than that. She still wasn't comfortable enough with Chloe to ask anything more. Sarah just nodded and accepted the explanation.

Over the next couple of months, Sarah and Chloe hung out together more and more. Now when Sarah was asked out, more often than not she found an excuse not to say yes. Between school and volleyball, there was always a reasonable excuse; most of the time Sarah even believed it herself. Occasionally she admitted that it would have taken time away from Chloe. It didn't matter what they did; whether it was studying, carpooling back to town or just talking, being with Chloe made Sarah happy in a way she couldn't remember ever being.

Slowly however things seemed to be changing. At first, it was just Sarah noticing how cute Chloe was. When Chloe was distracted or looking away, Sarah often found herself taking the chance to look at Chloe's body. Always wanting to blend in, Sarah had become pretty good at the surreptitious glance. But more frequently, Sarah found herself gazing at Chloe's pretty face. After Chloe caught her a few times, Sarah started to avoid consciously looking at her in the face. It was too easy to be trapped by her stunning blue eyes and left stammering. Chloe never asked what was going on, but sometimes she would get a little smile on her face before looking away. It worried Sarah. She was afraid that she would somehow offend her friend. Even worse was the fear that her attraction to girls would be discovered.

Although they had not been close back in school, Sarah and Chloe's mothers renewed their friendship. Especially with their daughters spending so much time together, it was natural. For Sarah's mother, it was also fun to have someone around who was new. Never having left her hometown, her circle of friends was the same as it had been when she graduated. Occasionally all three parents would go out for dinner and leave the girls behind. They appreciated the chance to have an adult night out.

The Friday before Thanksgiving, Chloe's mom had called and suggested going to a dinner and a movie. They asked the girls if they wanted to come but it was clearly a movie for an older audience. Neither one of them was interested. Instead Chloe came over to spend the night with Sarah since their parents didn't expect to get home until late.

As soon as the adults left, the girls ordered pizza. It didn't take long for it to be delivered. Sarah noticed that for once, it seemed like Chloe was the one who was more ill at ease. She did not talk nearly as much as Sarah did and seemed lost in thought at times.

"Are you okay, Chloe?" Sarah finally asked. It was so unlike her friend.

Looking up, Chloe seemed for a moment to be unable to talk. Reaching over to pick up her glass of Coke, she took a big gulp. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said, still sounding hesitant. Finally, as if deciding to plunge in, she looked directly into Sarah's eyes. Once again, Sarah found herself starting to feel lost in them. This time was not as disconcerting since Chloe had initiated it.

"You remember how I told you that I had someone back home?" Chloe quietly asked. Sarah nodded. "Well I decided to just end it. Long distance relationships are tough, especially at our age. Anyhow I'm finding myself falling for someone here; and it just didn't feel right otherwise."

Her jaw dropping open with surprise, Sarah could not help bursting out, "What? Who is he?" At the same time she thought, "How can she be such good friends with me and keep this from me?"

Seeing the hurt look on Sarah's face, Chloe reached out and touched her arm. "No, it isn't like that," she told her friend. "I should have told you this earlier. I never said the person in L.A. was a guy." Carefully watching Sarah's face, Chloe continued. "I had a girlfriend in L.A. I'm a lesbian, Sarah."

The hurt look slowly disappeared and was replaced by one that Chloe found hard to read. At least there was no trace of anger or disgust. That had been her worst fear. It was promising enough to encourage her to go on.

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I wanted to be honest with you but down there, it wasn't a big deal. Up here in Bumfuck, USA ... it is. And my mom knew it would be. She's supported me but she suggested that I be careful about it here. She said the transition would be hard enough. And she was right. I'm okay with who I am, but I also just wanted to keep it private." Chloe stopped talking and waited for Sarah to say something.

When Sarah spoke, she sounded extremely nervous. She didn't say anything at all about Chloe's confession. All she asked was, "Who are you falling for?"

There was almost a look of panic in Chloe's eyes as they darted around the room, trying desperately not to look Sarah in the face. Wanting to get a little control back, she took a deep breath. Chloe could feel how she was trembling. She could not remember ever feeling this vulnerable. Taking a couple more breaths did not help much.

Reaching out, Sarah put her hand on Chloe's arm. "Chloe, it's okay. It doesn't bother me. I just want to know who."

The touch helped Chloe to focus and get her nerves under control. She looked at Sarah. "Who? Sarah, it's you of course," she said in almost a whisper.

Sarah felt her heart constrict. "Chloe is falling for me?" she thought. Her feelings were so mixed up that she couldn't tell one from another. There was exhilaration accompanied by sheer terror. After a moment, she realized that Chloe was waiting for her to reply. As much as she wanted to say something amazing, all that came out was one word.

"Me?"

Her response made Chloe laugh a little. "Yes you, Sarah. Who else could it be? I said I was falling for someone, not attracted to her. You're who I spend all my time with." She desperately wanted to move her hand and take Sarah's, but Chloe found she couldn't. Her hand felt paralyzed. "And while you make it hard to read, I think maybe you feel the same way."

"You do?" Sarah said and immediately kicked herself for how she was continuing to talk like an idiot. She wanted to say more but her brain felt all foggy.

"Yes," Chloe said with a tiny smile. "My gaydar went off just enough to have a little hope. But most of all, I hope I haven't screwed up our friendship. Even if I'm wrong about you, I can't lose you as my friend."

The clouds suddenly lifted from Sarah's mind and she found she could form coherent thoughts again. "Oh Chloe, don't worry," she told her friend. Sarah took Chloe's hand in hers and squeezed it tight. "You are my best friend! Nothing is going to change that!"

Chloe answered the pressure from Sarah's fingers with her own. Her nervousness lessened just a little bit. At least Sarah had not run from the room. It has been one of her worst fears. But she still wasn't sure how Sarah felt.

Even with Chloe having confessed her feelings, it didn't make it any easier for Sarah. That part of her had been locked up for so long. Since the time with Dawn, she had never acted upon it. Most of the time, she tried not to even acknowledge it. Sarah knew what she wanted to say, but it was hard to start.

When she still didn't say anything, Chloe finally asked. "Am I wrong about you?" Her voice cracked in a heartbreaking way.

That was all it took. Now she was hurting Chloe. "No, you're not." She tightened the grip she had on Chloe's hand and looked her in the eyes. "It's hard, you know? Chloe, I've kept this part of me secret, from my friends, from my parents, from everyone. But yes, I fell for you a while ago."

The way that Chloe's face went from crestfallen to ecstatic made Sarah's heart clench again. This time however it was in a good way. The affection showing in Chloe's eyes was something amazing. Sarah hadn't realized how much she had longed for it.

Although she wanted to move closer to Chloe, all the time suppressing her feelings made Sarah hesitate. Having been out, Chloe had none. She scooted over and reached out to stroke Sarah's face. The way that Sarah closed her eyes and leaned into the touch told Chloe everything she needed to know about how Sarah felt. When she lowered her hand, Sarah's eyes opened again. The way they were sparkling made Chloe want to melt. She pulled Sarah into a big hug with her chin resting on Sarah's shoulder. For a moment Sarah did not respond, but then with a sigh she put her arms around Chloe like she had dreamed of doing. It felt as good as she imagined it would.

As they relaxed the hug and looked at each other, Chloe grinned. "So you never guessed about me?"

Shaking her head, Sarah's expression was more serious. "No, Chloe. I've been hiding so no one can guess about me. I don't know any ..." She paused for a moment and then went on. "Other lesbians. I guess I've got no gaydar."

Remembering the uncertainty that she had felt just moments before, Chloe gave Sarah another hug. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I shouldn't tease you." She looked into Sarah's dark eyes and saw that they were welling with tears. Chloe knew that she was screwing things up and making her friend feel terrible. "Oh Sarah, I didn't mean anything by it!" Chloe said desperately trying to fix things. She gave Sarah a tight hug.

"It's not that. I'm just not alone now. Someone knows; someone I trust." Sarah said as she sniffed and tried to hold back the tears. It didn't work and a few tears started to run down her face. Despite that, she smiled at Chloe. "Someone I wished I had the guts to tell," she said in almost a whisper.

Chloe felt Sarah pulling away from her and once again looked her in the face. Tears continued slowly to run down her face with no sign that they were going to stop, but she was looking intently back at Chloe. Hesitatingly, Sarah brought her face close to Chloe and gave her a little kiss that gradually grew. Their lips slowly moved against each other as they shared their first kiss. It did not last long but the ending was filled with yet to be fulfilled desire. Sarah's lips caught Chloe's and lightly pulled on it until it slipped away.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Sarah said shyly. "I never really thought I would." The tears had stopped and despite the redness of her eyes and the tracks of tears on her cheeks, Chloe loved the smile on her face. It steadily got wider and wider. There was a twinkle in Sarah's eyes as she said, "It was as good as I imagined."

That put a big grin on Chloe's face too. "You do that pretty good for a church going girl. You must have been practicing with someone." Seeing how Sarah's cheeks blushed, Chloe giggled. "Ah, who is ..." she started to ask before pausing. Chloe suddenly connected the dots and finished. "She?"

"Yeah, it was a she. But it was a long time ago, and it wasn't like that. It was just practicing for boys." Sarah said, hating the rise in the pitch of her voice. She didn't really want to tell the story but Chloe wouldn't let her off the hook. Finally, she told the story.

"But that's the only time with a girl?" Chloe asked when Sarah finished.

"Yeah. I mean I've kissed boys but that was the only time where it was with a girl. I was too shy to bring it up and Dawn never mentioned it. I think she forgot about it after a while." Sarah's voice became wistful. "I never did."

Despite herself, Chloe felt a tiny spike of jealousy. She knew it was ridiculous. Dawn didn't even remember, and certainly didn't have thoughts about Sarah. But even still, there was a part of Sarah that still thought about Dawn. Chloe chided herself. Sarah was with her and already told her that she felt the same way as Chloe.

Somehow Sarah sensed what Chloe was thinking. She embraced Chloe and gave her a little kiss. As it ended, she reassured Chloe. "Oh, I don't mean Dawn. I just meant kissing a girl. Up until now, Dawn's kisses were the best kisses ever. Not anymore."

With that, Sarah slid her hand up onto the nape of Chloe's neck and pulled her into another kiss. This time the restraint and tentativeness were gone. Her lips pressed hard against Chloe's. After a moment, Sarah parted her lips a bit. Slipping her tongue out, she stroked Chloe's lips. They parted automatically and Sarah's tongue pushed in. At first she didn't go deep. Her tongue caressed the inside of Chloe's lips. But when Chloe's tongue touched hers, Sarah extended it fully so that she could play with Chloe's. Their tongues rolled together as the kiss deepened and became more active. Both of them were softly gasping as they let their passion out.

When Chloe put her hands on the small of Sarah's back and pulled her closer, Sarah gladly pressed her body against Chloe's. She knew that her own nipples were erect and she felt Chloe's poking out against her. "God, I hope she is as into this as I am!" Sarah thought. It had been a long time coming and it felt so good now that it was happening. Even though she was the aggressor in the kiss, she did not know how to take the next step. She was not even sure she was ready. She had never done anything more than kiss with someone.

Something of her thoughts must have come through. Slowly Chloe began to tone the kiss down. She didn't just want to pull away. Sarah was at too fragile a moment to give her the wrong impression. But Chloe cared too much for her and wanted to let them take their time. There were lots of bridges to cross if they were going to be together. Gradually Chloe's tongue disengaged from Sarah's. She also began to kiss around Sarah's mouth rather than just on it. They were softer and more sensual kisses, but restrained at the same time. Chloe could tell how excited her friend was. It would not take much to break down any resistance, but she didn't want it that way. Running her hands up and down Sarah's back, Chloe finally ended the kissing and just held Sarah in her arms. Both of them looked in each other's eyes.

"You don't know how many times I almost kissed you. I dreamed about it for so fucking long," Chloe told her.

"Why didn't you? I wish you had!" Sarah said with a little smile.

Chloe looked back at her with a much more sober look. "Oh you say that now and knowing how you feel makes me wish I had. But Sarah, I didn't know. There was a chance, and it seemed huge, that you'd be horrified and I would lose you as even a friend. You're kind of known for being a good church girl, you know." Taking Sarah's hand, she squeezed it. "I guess I just decided I would rather have my best friend than risk it."