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Erläuterung der Gegensätze Angst und Liebe, denen der Mensch täglich ausgesetzt ist. Erkenne und bewältige Ängste. Du bekommst Hinweise zur Arbeit mit dir selbst und wirst zur Liebe hingeführt. Dieses Hineinfühlen wirkt sich positiv auf dein weiteres Leben aus. Ein Wendebuch, das mit der Angst beginnt und zu Liebe führt.
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
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Gunther Scheuring
FEAR damages your health LOVE heals
Gunther Scheuring
Fear damages your health Love heals
© 2022 Gunther Scheuring
1st edition 2022
Author: Gunther Scheuring
Cover photo: © Gunther Scheuring
Graphic design: Daniela Veit, Dresden
Editor: Ina Kleinod
Translator: Louise Bromby
Publisher
tredition GmbH
www.tredition.de
Production:
tredition GmbH, Halenreie 40-44, 22359 Hamburg
Bibliographical data of the Deutsche Nationalbibliothek (German National Library): The German National Library lists this publication in the German National Bibliography; detailed bibliographical information is available online at http://dnb.d-nb.de
ISBN paperback
978-3-347-77599-2
ISBN e-book
978-3-347-77600-5
This work and all its parts are subject to copyright. Its further use is not permitted without the publisher’s former consent. This applies particularly to electronic or other duplication, translation, distribution and other forms of publication.
WHAT IS A BOOK THAT CAN BE READ FROM BOTH SIDES?
A pair of opposites – in this case fear and love – are presented in a two-part book.
First read the part on „Fear“, then turn the book around and read the part on „Love“. This directly reveals the dynamics between the two, helping you to make your own personal decision.
CONTENTS
Part 1: FEAR damages your health
Ways to healing
What is fear?
Fear destroys
Fear is isolating
Helper syndrome
Facets of fear
Allergies
Compulsive buying
Phobias
Fear devours everything
Anger and depression
Fear can cause cancer
Fear as a crutch Fear of death
Fear of life
Fear as a shackle
Lies
Fear as a gift
Self-awareness
On the run
Thought patterns
Feelings of guilt
Fear of loss
Fear of contact
Excuses
Pity
Unfaithfulness
Feelings of inferiority
Addiction to love
Thinking too much
Avoiding difficulties
Fear of memories
Letting go
Sleeping problems
Fear of a new beginning
Fear of making decisions
Fear of silence
Fear of ourselves
Overcautiousness
Fear of illness
Fear as an instrument of power
Fear of the present
Fear of old age
Fear of love
Epilogue
Part 2: LOVE heals
Preface
Cycle
Fear of love
The heart
Love is abundance
Love is presence
Love under pressure
Trust
Making the change
Heart and mind
Love as a chance
Love heals
Thinking and feeling
Love is experience
Waking up
Love is silent
Self-knowledge
Divine order
Influences and habits
Love relationships
Love as a quality
Deep understanding
Divinity
The senses and intuition
Tears of love
Paradigm shift
Overcoming unfamiliarity
Reflection
Getting involved
Love for children
„Unlearning“ fear
Weathering crises
Meditation
Decisions
Love in the world
Gratitude
Epilogue
I encountered myself
Author
Gunther Scheuring
FEAR damages your health
A book to read from both sides
Fear is not inherited
WAYS TO HEALING
Our fears are there to help us heal. It may sound crazy, but how can you find your way out of a depression if you have no fear? If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t be worried, and you would have no reason to take care of yourself and nurse yourself back to health. Fear is the best healer for everything – our body, our mind and our soul. It is an important helper that shows us exactly what needs to be done, and how we should go about it. Sometimes we have to be patient and listen to it for a long time, and sometimes we have to pay close attention to it and ask a lot of questions. But at some point the situation becomes clear and we begin to understand; we gain a clearer vision of what the problem really is. As soon as we know what is ailing or unhappy inside us, and what we can do to treat it, our fear dissolves into thin air. It has fulfilled its purpose and we can send it off on its way.
So we can say that fear is not our enemy, but our ally. It allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves, to take care of our needs and to attain a greater level of self-acceptance. We need our fears, because they show us the way back to our life.
Fear is created by thought, and fear is there to help the human being learn how to understand his thought processes, to control them, to monitor them and not to leave things up to the random meanderings of the ego. The ego uses fear to keep us in a state of misery. If we are miserable and bemoan our fate, we reinforce everything deplorable that exists – this is a bad habit that we all seem to have got into. Really understanding our grievances and turning them into knowledge is the only way to open the door to ourselves. And behind this door we will find happiness and contentment – everything we have ever wanted. If we join together in recognition and knowledge, with all our fears, we will experience love. Free of sickness, we will be happy human beings.
In reality, fear does not exist. We as human beings create fear through our thoughts. Our thoughts are directed towards the outside world, the things that happen around us, rather than focusing on what is inside us, in the place where there is no fear. This is where we cause ourselves the most damage. We hide behind our fear, ignoring the fact that we created it ourselves with our thoughts. Only by understanding it and getting it out in the open can we transform it into the healing power of love.
Healing comes with insight. All we have to do is to recognise reality, and all our fears will disappear. The way to healing leads through fear directly to reality.
Fear leads to insight. Insight leads to healing.
WHAT IS FEAR?
Fear is a kind of mental construct. It creeps into our thoughts unannounced, in various ways. The media is at the top of the list as an instigator of fear. Because people believe just about everything they see on television, hear on the radio or read on the Internet or in newspapers, they are literally visited by fear. Media consumption has become so „normal“ today that we leave the door wide open to various sources of information 24 hours a day. Fears simply walk into our life without us even noticing that we have uninvited guests. And once they have settled down and made themselves nice and comfortable in our everyday lives, it is not easy to get rid of them. They don’t usually come alone; on the contrary. They bring so many thoughts along with them that they keep us occupied on a continual basis. That makes us feel safe – we somehow think we have everything under control.
If we imagine our fear as something more intrinsic, the following image emerges – it places sentries inside and outside our body to „take care“ of us. These guards are only thought constructions, which are there to lead and „protect“ us. At least that is what we believe, because it is what we are familiar with. Although fear is reallyonly an illusion, we have the feeling that our countless guards are there just for us. Unsuspectingly and unconsciously, we are constantly bound to our fearful thoughts, as though they could save us. But save us from what?
Without our fears, we feel deserted and alone. They not only keep us busy, but even pretend to be our closest friends. We actually believe that they are always there for us. We rely on them completely and do everything they tell us to do. We simply give up our selfdetermination. Once we have taken this step, we have more or less given our life away. We are no longer in control of our thoughts and senses, but are simply „driven“ through our lives. We lose sight of ourselves altogether. Our fear governs our mentality, and we do not notice that we are giving up our authentic nature.
Of course, we are not all born as scaredy-cats. As children we follow our own free spirits and go through the day fearlessly and courageously. We stand up tall and do not doubt the kindly nature of being. If we did not gradually begin to lose our primal self-assurance on the way to becoming adults, there would probably not be so many fear-inducing guests sitting on our sofa. We would love ourselves and others freely, and enjoy a deep connection with our soul. It would have been worthwhile being born on this Earth.
Love is an almighty power, there is nothing else we need. All the questions that fear poses find their answer in love. Love leads people more safely through life than fear could ever hope to. All it requires is trust. Love is omnipresent, and it is both our helper and our healer. It is the miracle that cannot be influenced by the human being. It is not possible to deserve it or not to deserve it. Love leads to inner balance. Once you have found it, it will last forever.
The path of life is experience.
FEAR DESTROYS
If you are afraid of becoming ill, the fearful thought alone is enough to make you contract an illness. Fear cannot cope with happiness hormones, so it eats them alive. In so doing, it takes away our stability, which we need to heal or remain healthy. Fear is a kind of omnivore – it fights against any positive aspect of humanity, whether it be freedom or love. It is extremely damaging, especially for people who are seriously ill, for example with cancer. Migraine, allergies, depressions, Alzheimer and many more conditions are also connected with feelings of fear. Finally, fear is the most frequent reason for suicide.
Instability, particularly mental imbalance or physical frailty, is almost always built on fear. Without fear, we humans would not be able to perceive the fact that we are alive. Fear keeps us in constant motion, and an overpowering feeling of fear can even result in a compulsive disorder. We rush through our lives and find no peace, because we are always afraid of something. We are worried about our job, our marriage, our children, we are afraid of our boss, of politics and climate change. Fear has become a permanent part of our lives, and it urges us to protect ourselves against everything and everyone.
Fears multiply so quickly that we are unable to avoid their influence. They create the illusion that we must obey their commands at all times. They exercise a great power that accepts no limitations. They more or less force us to capitulate – as though the possibility of freedom did not exist for us. That is why we feel so dependent on the external circumstances in our lives, for example other people or official authorities. We are often under the impression that life is basically hostile and threatening. We convince ourselves that other people are our enemies, and that their intentions are always bad. This applies not only to people we don’t know, for example people from different cultures, or the people standing next to us on the underground, in the department store or at the supermarket checkout. We even distrust those who are close to us, such as our family, neighbours and colleagues. Gradually we give our lives up to the power of our overanxious thoughts, our ego. Unfortunately, this gives rise to even more fear rather than making us feel more secure. Our doubts grow stronger and stronger, until at some point we completely lose our trust in ourselves and in others.
People who are eaten up by fear can be recognised through their facial expression. They usually look sad or frightened, with their shoulders hunched forwards a little and their head bowed. They walk around like that, almost tripping themselves up as they go. Their bodies seem tense and stiff, their movements are robotic. And if you look into their faces, they seem almost absent. If all these people were really in touch with their inner selves, they would feel a violent pain in their chests from their heart trying to free itself.
They would cry because they felt so trapped, caught up in all the fears of life. And if they cried, it would signify the beginning of their healing process.
Fear is a powerful mental force that will never capitulate as long as we continue to entertain a single thought. Fears and thoughts are an established team. That is why it is not possible to conquer our fear patterns through our thoughts. There are many methods that rely on the power of our mental capacity, but in this case „positive thinking“ on its own does not help. It is as though we were running around in circles. If we chase after thoughts with thoughts, things will only get worse. The problem is that we actually believe the things our thoughts suggest to us, and end up being afraid of being afraid. Believing that our fear has a position of authority, we use „counter-thoughts“ in an attempt to defeat it. But it doesn’t work, all that happens is that a battle of thoughts arises in our head – desperate positive thoughts fight against desperate negative thoughts, but there is no sign of a peaceful solution.
Under the governance of fear, we are no longer able to assess the situation and ourselves. We lead a tortured existence, convinced that there is nothing we can do about it. If we knew that we had actually made up our fears ourselves in the first place, and then proceeded to believe them, we would have the chance to realise that they have no power at all over us. On the contrary, we have power over them. We would immediately stop thinking fearful thoughts.
We would simply tie up all our fears into a bundle with a piece of strin and set fire to them
Fear is an invention of the human mind, completely unrelated to what is happening around us.
FEAR IS ISOLATING
We are always striving to achieve greater things in our lives, with a strong desire to reach the next step on the ladder of success. On a mental level it doesn’t quite seem to work out that way, so our ego creates a higher status for us. We wish to appear to be of greater value on the outside than we are able to achieve inwardly. Through fear, our ego drives us ever onwards into a masquerade, a solution that is no more than pretence. It envelops us in illusions until we begin to believe that our life is nothing but a career ladder, and all we have to do is climb up it. But in reality, we have our feet on the brakes all the time, because we cannot overcome our fears. They stand in the way of our will to progress in life. They bombard us with thought structures that make us feel we are flying high, even though we were grounded long ago. Too many ego thoughts have built up; there is no longer space for real life, an authentic life of freedom. But our own ego never gives up – it continues to torture us until the very last minute.
We always wish to seem greater than we are. And we believe in this irrational illusion of greatness because our thoughts encourage us to do so. They chain us to an illusion of grandeur that does not really exist, and this ruins our prospects for the future. It would be helpful if we were honest to ourselves, but that is exactly what we find difficult. We prefer to run away from ourselves, because it appears to be easier. We rely on our fears, which continue to lead us astray. We blindly follow this alien power, and it accompanies us up into old age.
Fear makes demands that seem to be minimal and easy to fulfil. All we have to do is follow our fearful thought patterns and remain in the loop, and the same thing will happen again and again – one fear will follow the next, until it has become a habit. The cycle is actually easy to see through – all you have to do is to say „yes“ to everything that the fear of the ego suggests, and the reward will be the next fear, which will in its turn advise us to say „yes“ to something or other. In this way, we can comfortably avoid any kind of confrontation. On the other hand, however, we will never find real peace.
If we look at ourselves, we have to admit that we have completely fulfilled our potential for fear. We are so full of conditions, demands and requirements that we have become blind to what we actually are – loving beings. For most people, even love means living in a state of fear. They cling on to their fear, because it seems to be carrying them through life. All the goals they set themselves are shaky ideas that are only valid in the short term, until they are destroyed by the next fear.
Why on Earth have we decided to live according to our fears? All they do is torture us, but somehow we cannot find a way to get away from them. We feel powerless and uninteresting because we constantly fail to succeed at shaping life on our own, without fear.
We invent all kinds of things to distract ourselves, but we are unable to commit ourselves and make decisions. We doubt, grumble and complain. That is the basis of our lives. But as long as we are obsessed with fear, the meaning of life will be lost to us.
Fear is an addiction.
HELPER SYNDROME
In order to escape from feeling fear, many people develop a so-called helper syndrome. They believe that everyone else is automatically more important than them. They then proceed to project their own suffering onto others by being helpful. They set out to do other people good because it seems easier than taking care of themselves. Sacrificing themselves for others makes them feel good in the short term, but soon afterwards they begin to feel even worse than they did in the beginning. If someone unduly wears himself out for others in this way, he will often end up being confronted with his own feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness. In actual fact, all he needs to do is to correct this false conviction, but he has not reached a high enough level of self-recognition to do this. On the one hand there is too much awareness, and on the other too much traditional thinking, which reinforces the idea that someone is egotistical if he takes care of himself first before helping others. Most people believe that focusing on other people’s problems instead of their own amounts to love, but in actual fact they are acting out of fear. As long as they are taking care of other people’s problems, they will have no time to acknowledge the fact that they have their own difficulties in life. They are running away because they are afraid that they will be unable to solve their own conflicts and face up to their own challenges. If they really knew love, they would love themselves and make sure that their own needs were fulfilled.
Nevertheless, everyone is of course searching for love; it is every human being’s deepest wish to find it. But if we are on the path of fear, there is no way we can make contact with love. Because we are full of fear, we cannot feel the love, although it is always there. Instead, we use all our energy in trying to do things that make others appreciate us. By sacrificing ourselves, we believe we can earn love and affirmation. We would give the shirt on our backs to help others, just to receive their gratitude. But our expectations are usually not fulfilled.
The helper syndrome is a skilfully manipulated fear strategy on the part of our ego. If we have committed ourselves to the mission of helping, sacrificing ourselves to others has become our own personal life concept. In reality it is an illusion to think our behaviour is future-oriented and that we have both feet on the ground. Finally, we are just seeking an escape through meaningless activity, in a desperate attempt to find some kind of meaning in life.
We can only truly help someone else if we are not in need ourselves. If you throw yourself into helping others because of your own despair, all you will succeed in doing is to increase your own suffering. Secretly you are making others beholden to you, making them feel they have to be grateful or return the favour in some way. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love others. However, most people do not recognise the truth of this. This means that a large number of unhealthy connections arise between people who help too much and people who allow themselves to be helped too much. The latter category is of course also afraid; that is why they need so much help.
Facing up to your own fear is one of the greatest challenges in life. It requires not only honesty and the courage to acknowledge your fear, but also a firm determination to understand it. If you consciously analyse your fears, you will have the chance to free yourself of them. As soon as you realise that your continual misgivings are tantamount to being in an internal prison, you will have the chance to find the key to your cell. You can learn to stop allowing yourself to be controlled by your ego. First you must gain a clearer understanding of the fact that your ego constantly produces new fears. Then you must distance yourself from the voice of your ego in order to find your way back to self-determination – the path chosen by your heart. With this, you are giving yourself a precious gift. Living in a self-determined manner brings true joy, and if you feel this joy within you, you will be in a position to give joy to others.
I am the most important person in my life.
FACETS OF FEAR
Fear is certainly not a beacon of hope. The way it makes us feel towards ourselves doesn’t exactly have us singing and dancing all day. Any self-respect we might have had seems to dissolve into thin air – we seem to be constantly running away, trying to escape from the fear. We chew through a vast number of problems every day in our thoughts, and lose track of our lives. We sit there biting our nails, so to speak.
Fears are unpredictable. They always turn up when we are not expecting them. And if several of them join forces, they can build up to create a real internal thought explosion. Then we feel real panic. We no longer have ourselves under control. We raise our hands in surrender, and possibly even end up on the psychiatric ward. We all have the occasional panic attack to a greater or lesser extent. Most of us are plagued by doubt or secretly think about killing ourselves. The only crazy thing about it is that we think we are afraid of something outside, whereas we are most afraid of something inside us
– fear! It is a little like a hall of mirrors.
In order to examine the dynamics of fear more closely, we often have to go back as far as our childhood to find the fear structures and traumatic experiences in which they are rooted. Over the course of the years, many other fears have become layered over these first deep impressions on our soul, developing to become complete fear structures. Within our world of fears, a large number of different facets of fear rush around, communicating with one another and interacting. They distract our soul and keep it so busy that it can no longer find its way back to itself, even when we are adults. It is constantly on the run, trying to satisfy the voices of all these different facets of fear. Every time our soul anticipates the wishes of a certain voice of fear and fulfils them, it then has to ruffle up its feathers and try to assert itself over the other voices.
Our internal world is the scene of many voices of fear, all fighting for affirmation, acknowledgement and affection. We can only achieve this affection or love if we have played through all the roles on the stage of the theatre of fear inside our heads. We have to pass through all the movements of our internal fear before we can learn how to love. Among the messages of all our voices of fear we will find a gentle, unseen hint of the hidden potential of love. We have to listen to it very carefully, making sure we do not react with a blind reflex. We must learn to perceive our fears more fully and serve them less, and then we will have the chance to discover love. It is always there, buried beneath the fear, which keeps it imprisoned. Liberating it is easier than we think.
Fears are good actors.
ALLERGIES
Allergies are the most frequent excuses made by our egos. If our ego cannot cope, it lets us know in the form of various indications of overtaxing, oversensitivity or intolerance. Allergic reactions to certain foodstuffs or ingredients found in cosmetics are particularly common. Our body’s defensive reaction, which can be extremely unpleasant or violent and sometimes affect our organ system, are a tactic employed by our ego. It diverts our attention to other enemies – gluten, lactose, histamine, strawberries, nuts, the nickel that is found in necklaces, the surfactants in shampoo, etc. There are people who suffer from multiple allergies and are more or less unable to eat anything without having skin problems. Some overreact to environmental stimuli, while others live their lives with chronic physical reactions such as hay fever or neurodermatitis.
Allergies & co are some of the daily diversion strategies devised by our ego. It keeps us busy and never allows us to relax. We are caught up in a loop of fear, worrying about the restrictions in our choice of foodstuffs and spending hours at the doctor’s or doing research on the Internet. It would be far easier to listen to our inner voice, our intuition, and ask it what to do, but we have usually lost touch with it.
Allergies and intolerances are a particularly clear indication of the ego’s stubbornness and arrogance. The ego refuses to believe that it prevents us from being more benevolent in our approach to ourselves, but in fact the underlying causes of allergies are generally frustration, lovelessness, unfulfilled wishes or deep sorrow. The body is defending itself against our internal neglect. Our immune system refuses to function, telling us in no uncertain terms that it is time to take care of ourselves. The only problem is that we are unable to understand the message that is being given to us.
Allergies are often the basis of other illnesses. They show us that something is completely awry in our lives. On the one hand, we follow the ego, which constantly urges us to be someone we are not, and on the other we feel mentally and physically weighed down, which makes us weaker and weaker. At the same time, the anti-reactions of our physical and psychological system keep us in check, and we are completely at odds with ourselves. Under constant pressure, we believe that we have to ignore our own feelings, i.e. disregard and humiliate ourselves. As a consequence we feel even more unloved, or even disrespected, without noticing that we do not give ourselves the love and respect we deserve. It breaks our hearts.
We live our lives enslaved to all our fears, which order us around and maltreat us. We become ill because we do not have an opinion of our own; instead, we allow ourselves to be governed by the opinions and belief patterns of the ego. Fear and ego are our two slave drivers – they allow us to function until our body is so weak that it develops symptoms. It cannot bear the burden any longer, and is unable to regenerate. Finally it cries for help, for example by developing an allergy. By this time at the latest, a change of direction is badly needed to bring about emotional release. What prevails, even in the midst of the deepest suffering, is the soul’s natural desire to find its way back to itself. Its wish is to embody the being that we really are.
Body language sends us very clear signals. Allergies can have many different emotional meanings, but they usually indicate a lack of kindness, affection and true support. The soul wants to be loved, and it wants to live according to its own feelings. It wants to be free of the influence of others and not allow itself to be destroyed by them. It wants to be free of stress by day and to sleep peacefully at night. Only when the soul is in harmony will the body return to its natural balance. The reason for our illness disappears and the smile returns to our eyes. We are contented.
Allergies reflect an energy-related imbalance between the body, mind and soul. They point towards a weakness in the system, signalising that it is vital to take some time out in order to rid ourselves of negative energy. The mind is overloaded with the fearful thoughts circulating around in it. It no longer has the capacity to find its way back to a creative level of performance. A deep dissatisfaction arises, which the body expresses through defensive reactions.
Allergies are a body language that is clear and easy to understand. In order to heal, we must learn to read it. We must give ourselves a break from our thoughts so that our mind can rest, perhaps through mediation or yoga, going for a walk or other relaxing activities. If we heed this, we can be our own best healer. The activation of our powers of self-healing is worth far more than any medication or therapy. There are no unpleasant side effects, only deep relief and joy. When we learn to manage our energy balance correctly, the fears that caused the allergy in the first place will also disappear.
Allergies are a direct expression of our yearning for love. If we acknowledge this and give ourselves the affection we need, not only our soul will feel happy and fulfilled, but our body will also be returned to its full health and strength. Our vitality returns and our lust for life reawakens.
Live in the truth of your heart.
COMPULSIVE BUYING
One of the most important mottos of our time seems to be: enough is never enough! Our society measures the value of a person on what he possesses. Once you have enough of everything and finally seem to have fulfilled all the necessary requirements, the next set of „essential“ items will appear on the list. The ego continually presents us with the fear of not having enough, owning enough, getting enough. It drives us on incessantly, convincing us that we have to earn more money, drive a bigger car, invest in securities and shares, etc. etc. It speaks to us in such a compelling way that we believe we desperately need all of these things, even though it is obvious that we actually don’t need them at all, or at least have no use for them. The main thing is that we keep on buying things, no matter what they are.
Compulsive buying stems from the fear of not sufficing. This feeling of inferiority awakens in us an irrational desire for status and image cultivation, material possessions and showing off. Another reason for excessive shopping and compulsive buying is the fear of not being loved and respected enough, of being neglected or overlooked. We try to compensate for these painful feelings by buying useless things, for example new clothes that are never worn, or hobby paraphernalia that is never used. For many people, possessing new things creates a feeling of abundance, at least for a short time. However, since it is not inner wealth, the moment of happiness quickly fades away. It provides nothing but a momentary satisfaction, and a few hours later the buyer is sitting on the sofa again, feeling lonely and worthless. He turns on the laptop and immediately continues to search for what he’s going to buy next, so that he can feel happy again for a few minutes.
Every day, people are driven by their fears to buy unnecessary things. Even people who have little money at their disposal become adept bargain hunters or experts on swapping services or flea markets. But whether we are talking about an expensive boutique or a second hand shop, it is the same dynamics of inner emptiness that lead people to compensate a lack of love and human interaction with material possessions and external wealth. Inner restlessness caused by loneliness, or the feeling of leading a meaningless life, creates instability in the soul. The internally impoverished individual ends up becoming addicted to spending money on more and more objects, exclusive leisure activities or ridiculously expensive gourmet cuisine. His behaviour leads him into situations that are threatening or stressful, such as getting into debt or taking dangerous financial risks. However, as long as he continues to give in to his greed, he will never be satisfied.
In extreme cases, an additional fear is added to the continual compulsion to buy: not being able to let go of things. We’ve all seen television documentaries on the so-called „hoarder“. If he has no money to buy things with, he will collect a certain amount of items every day, for example simple newspapers, empty bottles or objects that other people have thrown away. Our throw-away society offers enough opportunities to achieve material satisfaction, even without financial means.
Fear leads to addiction and compensation.
PHOBIAS
The sun is blinding, the daylight is too bright. The night is not dark enough, so you are unable to sleep. Going through life as a blind person requires a lot of energy. Not seeing where you are treading and what life can show you drives you to despair. But it is the not wanting to see that tortures you, your inner resistance to the supposed injustice of life you think you are subject to.
Not wanting to see is a protective measure against the outside world, but in reality it is a form of protection against your own self. You are not ready to open your eyes to life. You want to stay in your world of make-believe because you know nothing about yourself. Fear of life itself becomes a phobia, a way of experiencing some kind of boundary. You are not ready to recognise the fullness of life. A phobia is a highly concentrated fear that keeps us away from any form of joy and happiness. We are so afraid that there seems to be no way out, and we create an artificial boundary that appears to protect us. We can hide behind it so as to live with our insecurities. A blind fear of something particular, for example lifts, crowds or spiders, is a „crutch“ that can be used to avoid taking a glance at our own life. We are unable to experience what a huge gift it is. Phobias keep us locked away behind closed doors created by our thoughts, imprisoning us in deep, dark cellars.
