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When unfortunate circumstances brought Jha'helia back to her Xelurian home world, she didn't expect to find her lost balance in the arms of a Nimaran stranger. This erotica short story is a love letter to the culture and society of Xeluria, a planet far away in a parallel universe. It is a spinoff to the series "Kind zweier Welten" that had been published in German language.
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It gets dark so I can see the stars
1. Auflage 2022
Text and Coverdesign:
©Julia Zabries
Covergrafik:
©robob3ar (Krešimir Jelušić)
Julia Zabries
Lutherstr. 15
39112 Magdeburg
eBook/Druck:
epubli – ein Service der neopubli GmbH, Berlin
it is so much darker when a star fades away,
than it would have been if its light had never been seen.
this ebook is dedicated to every soul out there, who knows how this feels like and sometimes you just have to embrace the darkness to see the stars within.
It happened somewhen during last summer that I was about to visit the space station of Xelor Prime. Not that seasons in space would count anyway. Usually, my days were filled with darkness. Lots of it. As the void mostly consisted of the absence of any kind of material or even light, all you can usually see when travelling through space is sheer darkness, streaked with stars.
There was I, Jha’helia.
Ever since I could remember, my heart always belonged to the stars. So it was no wonder that I strived to attend flight academy. I always dreamt of being a highly regarded pilot one day, the best of the whole space marine, but there were others who also shared my dream and happened to be way better than I was, so I only made it to a freight pilot. But even though my ship, the Nalthor, was more a shabby wreck than anything else, being rusty and causing more failures than I was able to get my hands on necessary spare parts, at least it brought me up into space. I’ve been all alone for way too long and I’ve seen too many people in all those years who lost their minds due to the oppressive darkness that a life in space entails, but I always loved the stars way too fondly to be fearful of the dark.
But from time to time, even I felt something that was a bit like a void in my own soul, a vague wish for some kind of not being all alone, just for a night or two.
It was during my last job on Endar IV, where I had to pick up some freight, when I first noticed that feeling coming up again. First it had been just a fleeting thought, easy to ignore. But after a week of being back in space and being kind of halfway on my way to the agreed rendezvous point for drop off, I was just in the kitchen putting one of the usual food rations into the processor, like I always did at the same hour, when this feeling came back and hit me right into my stomach.
It wasn’t that I considered myself being lonely, not at all. Unlike almost everyone else of my people, I really even embraced being alone. I was a Xelurian. My folks were a species of empaths, communicating intensively via feelings and perceiving the slightest changes in energy patterns around us. For them, being social and sharing the connection together was as elementary as breathing. For me, it had only ever been exhausting. I struggled enough with my own inner balance that I never felt like I had any capacities left for dealing with others’ feelings on top. So I clearly preferred the solitude of being all alone just for myself. Okay, except for the company of some bots and androids on board, but at least they didn’t have any feelings and I only had to talk to them. That was the level of social communication I was fine with.
Usually, those semblances of loneliness occurred for short periods only. Mostly I felt a bit weary for a couple of days, used to fill the void inside myself with loud hard beats that caused my hearts to vibrate in my body until they aligned their measure to the rhythm of the music, and when I reached my next stop, my head was so full of my duties that the feeling vanished as quickly as it had occurred.
But this time something was different. It came and was obviously determined to stay. Neither unloading the freight was able to chase away the strange dragging inside of me, nor the argument with the rogue Edoorian schmuck who unfortunately also was one of my regular distributors who guaranteed me one of my most valuable freight routes.
So when my assemblance of ship scraps subsequently decided to report a critical failure in the synaptic gel of secondary life support, I finally caved in and set course to the next repair station within one day flight’s reach, which happened to be Xelor Prime, my home planet’s spaceport.
A load of mixed feelings rushed through my mind when the impressive station with the vibrant turquoise characters on its dark anthracite surface appeared on my screen. Perfectly coordinated, lots of ships arrived at and departed from the station in an almost choreographed flight that had always reminded me of a busy hive.
»Landing clearance received. Deactivating main drive,« the system AI informed me in its neutral voice.
I nodded as if it had made any difference.
»Well then, I take over and bring us in,« I said, stretched my fingers and switched to manual flight control.
Slowly the Nalthor slid through the entry airlock whose rim glowed in a welcoming turquoise. I squinted my eyes when bright light surrounded me at an instant.
My hands were steady while I used the maneuvering engines to hover gracefully through the hangar. It felt like eternities had passed since I had been here the last time. The last few years I had managed to artfully avoid it consequently to return. I already felt the energy that was so typical of this place, the faint hint of the collective perception of something that we Xelurians called the Big Whole. Unable to decide if the feeling inside of me was rather more like coming home after such a long time or the urgent need of immediately wanting to turn around and run as fast as my engines would make it. My pulse quickened with every moment I was back on Xelurian ground.
A flock of orange-yellow signal lights directed the ship to the dock where I was supposed to land. When I reached my final destination, the Nalthor floated in position for a few seconds until the signal lights switched to the intensive turquoise of clearance, then the ship touched down and I shut off the engines. I exhaled deeply, as if that had helped to release my inner tension.
