S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On) E-Book

Paul McGee

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 198

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012

Beschreibung

This is the long awaited second-edition of Paul McGee’s international bestselling personal development heavyweight S.U.M.O. Weighing in with humour, insight, practical tips and personal anecdotes, it’s a thought provoking – and possibly life–changing – read. S.U.M.O. has helped tens of thousands of people fulfil their potential, seize opportunities, succeed at work and respond to adverse situations with a positive attitude. Now comprehensively expanded and even more interactive, the 2nd edition, will help S.U.M.O. fans – and S.U.M.O. virgins – get even more out of this popular, straight-talking guide.

S.U.M.O. stands for Shut Up, Move On. It's a phrase to say to ourselves (and sometimes others) when we are acting or thinking in a way that is hindering our ability to succeed. It doesn't necessarily mean 'get over it' or 'pull yourself together' (although there may be occasions when both responses are necessary). 'Shut Up' means stop what you're doing, take time out to reflect, let go of baggage and beliefs that hinder your potential. 'Move On' means tomorrow can be different from today, look for new possibilities, don't just think about it, take action.

There are six S.U.M.O. principles that are designed to help you create and enjoy a brilliant life. If you are wrestling with life's challenges, these principles will help you do so more successfully.

1. A brand new principle: E+R=O – Event + Response = Outcome. It's not just what happens to you but how you respond to it that shapes your life – you do have control.
2. Change Your T–Shirt – take responsibility for your own life and don't be a victim.
3. Develop Fruity Thinking – change your thinking and change your results.
4. Hippo Time is OK – understand how setbacks affect you and how to recover from them.
5. Remember the Beachball – increase your understanding and awareness of other people's world.
6. Learn Latin – change comes through action not intention. Overcome the tendency to put things off.
7. Ditch Doris Day – create your own future rather than leave it to chance. Forget the attitude 'que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be.'

'A superb book' Allan and Barbara Pease, bestselling authors of Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps

'The S.U.M.O. approach is powerful, simple and effective. Anyone who reads it is sure to look at themselves and the world differently as a result' Octavius black and Sebastian bailey, co-founders of The Mind Gym

Leseprobe

Contents

Cover

Title page

Copyright page

Dedication

About the Author

Preface

Introduction

Why SUMO?

What Events have you experienced?

Self-Awareness can unlock the door to a brilliant life

Chapter 2: Change Your T-shirt

The great BSE crisis

Chapter 3: Develop Fruity Thinking

The TEAR model

What influences your thinking?

Chapter 4: Hippo Time Is OK

When Hippo Time might be necessary

Understanding our emotions

How do you help someone during Hippo Time?

Chapter 5: Remember The Beachball

What is the beachball?

Understanding does not mean agreeing

The joy of a new perspective

Chapter 6: Learn Latin

So why do we procrastinate?

Where do we go from here?

Chapter 7: Ditch Doris Day

Why Doris Day?

What kind of future do you want?

SUMO in Africa

The Personal Postscript

Want to know more about SUMO?

SUMO4Schools

Bring Paul to your organization

SUMO and Act4Africa

About Act4Africa

Act4africa Programmes

Seven questions to help you SUMO

Index

What people say about Paul McGee’s SUMO presentations and workshops …

‘May I on behalf of everyone at Manchester United who attended your session, thank you for a great presentation. The feedback has been excellent and all very positive, and I know the ideas within your SUMO message are greatly appreciated.’

Kenneth Merrett

Former Club Secretary, Manchester United FC

‘You inspired the audience with your SUMO techniques. You were practical, motivational and entertaining.’

Miles Standish

Managing Director, UK Life and Pensions, Towry Law Group

‘The feedback has been unbelievable! Delegates were using some of the seven questions during the conference. Lots of fun, but at the same time, lots of learning.’

Philip Turner

Operations Director, NHS

‘I’ve absolutely no doubt that your approach can help build resilience and enhance the quality of people’s lives, in both medical and educational settings. The clarity and simplicity of your explanations are accessible to everyone and I know many patients who would benefit from adopting this approach.‘You use SUMO as a way of having a legitimate and life-enhancing conversation with ourselves, forcing us to reflect and aim for what really matters.’

Dr Phil Hammond,GP, journalist and broadcaster

‘Paul, you did not disappoint. Staff morale needed to be lifted during this period of change and your approach injected new life into our conference. Aside from your truly motivational presentation, we also appreciated the copious amounts of humour.’

Fiona TuffsMarketing and Development Director,North East Chamber of Commerce

‘I know that many people personally thanked you on the night for your inspired message and how they had been challenged to change the way they deal with situations. However, it is remarkable that two months on, the messages that you gave us are still remembered and talked about. Our teaching staff have gone on to give positive “can do” messages to the pupils and frequently refer to SUMO and how we can “Move On” to greater things both as individuals and as a school.’

Julia CareyHeadteacher, Victoria Community Technology School

‘SUMO may sound very simple but it is the truth of life!’

Archana SchaferManaging Partner, EMA International, Dubai

‘After listening to your presentation I have made some radical changes to my coaching plans and techniques. You have opened up my way of thinking with your extremely motivational and thought-provoking SUMO approach.’

Mark TolleySports Coach, Cumbria County Council

‘Your day in the store made a big difference. The average score of how people felt able to cope with change moved from 71% to 94%; a great move, especially starting from a reasonable base. Your SUMO ideas are frequently used.’

Paul SandersStore Manager, Marks & Spencer

‘Paul McGee speaks from the heart and has a passion that makes his content even more powerful. This passion isn’t one of those “showman types” but is based on a deep-seated belief in what he has to say and what he has to offer his audience.’

Paul BridlePast President of the International Federation for Professional Speakers

‘Out of all the presentations at the conference, your SUMO principles had the most impact on me. SUMO is spreading like wildfire in South Africa as I tell all and sundry! Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.’

Melodie de JagerDirector, The BG Connexion Ltd, South Africa

‘Paul, you’re not a motivational or inspirational speaker … I actually think you’re a life-changing speaker. You give people the tools to change their lives.’

Nigel RisnerTelevision presenter and speaker

What people say about Paul McGee’s SUMO book…

‘Don’t be deceived by this book’s simple approach. Beneath the surface it’s packed with wisdom and insights communicated in a practical, humourous and inspirational way. Make sure you read it.’

Haydn Roberts,Head of Player Care and Support, Manchester City Football Club”

‘We live in a complex world. Paul McGee’s messages stand out because they’re clear, simple and above all they work. We have a short time on this planet and we need to make the most of it. SUMO shows you how. By applying these ideas I believe you can make a BIG difference in every area of your life, personally and professionally.’

Marie MoselyBusiness Psychologist

‘How can we sum up this book and the SUMO approach to life? Quite simply. No bull. No boredom. Just brilliant ideas. Get ready to SUMO and enjoy the ride.’

Steve McDermott and Philip HeskethCo-creators of The Confident Club

‘Paul’s SUMO principles are essential life tools, nothing less. I refer to his seven questions on an almost daily basis. They have been massively useful for dealing with issues both personally and professionally. Paul, I cannot thank you enough.’

David ThomasInternational speaker, author and memory world record holder

‘SUMO is a brilliant book, packed with simple, inspirational and innovative ideas that can be applied to any aspect of your life, whether it be personal, business or recreational. Paul’s knowledge, enthusiasm and ability to clearly explain these methods is unsurpassed. I heartily recommend this excellent read.’

Damian Hughes, Sports Psychology Consultant to Great Britain, England and Warrington Wolves Rugby League.

This updated second edition first published by Capstone Publishing Ltd (a Wiley company), 2011© 2011 Paul McGeeIllustrations © Fiona Griffiths

First edition published 2005Mass market edition published 2006

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Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

ISBN 9780857081292 (paperback), ISBN 9780857081834 (ePdf),ISBN 9780857081520 (ePub), ISBN 9780857081537 (eMobi)

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Dedication

To Paul ‘The Philosopher’

with deep gratitude and appreciation

for sharing your friendship, wisdom and laughter.

From The Sumo Guy

Proverbs 18 : 24

About the Author

PAUL McGEE is an international speaker, a best-selling author and performance coach. He’s Managing Director of his own training and education company and also the proud creator of SUMO (Shut Up, Move On®).

Paul’s main aim is to help people achieve better results in life, whilst having more fun in the process. He has spread the word about SUMO in 33 countries across the globe to date. Paul has worked with major organizations in both public and private sectors as well as small businesses and charities. Paul is founder member and fellow of the Professional Speakers Association, a fellow of the Institute of Sales and Marketing and an associate of the Chartered Institute of Personal Development.

His latest passion in life apart from seeing Bradford City climb up the football league is to spread the SUMO message into schools.

He is married to Helen and has two teenage children Matt and Ruth who are perhaps his biggest teachers in life and remind him not to take himself too seriously.

Preface

When a baby is born there are numerous questions that are immediately asked. Is the baby healthy? How much does it weigh? Have they decided on a name? I’m going to let you into a secret. Authors can be a little bit like parents of a newborn child. Once their book is published, a flood of questions well up instantly. Are the major stores stocking it? Will people find it a good read? Most importantly of all, will it sell?

Well, so far I’ve been delighted with the response to my SUMO book. It seems the messages that I’ve sought to communicate have struck a chord with thousands of people. What has thrilled me has been the range of people who have found the book helpful. One woman told me how her 82-year-old mother had read it (I would have loved to have been present when this lady received a book from her daughter entitled SUMO – Shut Up, Move On) and how her mum remarked that she wished she had read it when she was 20. Equally, I heard from a former government minister who, having read the book, wanted additional copies to give to some friends and colleagues. He felt that the SUMO ethos was essential for business success.

Although delighted at the response to the book in terms of feedback and sales, I believe personally that the SUMO message needs to spread further. I feel like a football manager whose team has won their opening three matches of the season … it’s a great start, but there’s still a long way to go.

I’m immensely grateful to all the people who’ve contacted me as a result of reading SUMO. When the book was first published I seriously questioned if people would find it helpful. Irrational maybe, but perhaps we all wrestle with some degree of self-doubt at times. The following comments, from what were at the time total strangers, gradually helped to replace this tide of uncertainty with a sense of great privilege and personal satisfaction that SUMO was indeed beginning to make a difference.

Paul McGeeThe SUMO Guy

Feedback on the book

Hi Paul, a colleague of mine suggested I read your SUMO book as they wanted to introduce your SUMO principles into the workplace. To be honest, I’m a little sceptical of some of these self-help books, particularly when I knew it was written by a motivational speaker! Well I stand corrected. Having read the book and heard you speak, I’m now a fully signed up convert. Your SUMO principles make a lot of common sense and are written in a way that is easy to grasp and apply to every aspect of life.

Adam Smith,Director, jjFox

Dear Paul,

Just wanted you to know that I found your SUMO book both stimulating and instructive. The world of business moves on at such a pace that I believe the SUMO ethos is an essential part of the business persons DNA.

Lord Digby Jones,

Paul,

I was made redundant on Friday. It was a dull but well-paid job – I wallowed (for half a day). Then, still feeling angry and let down, on my way home, I bought your book in Heathrow Airport and read it from cover to cover while waiting for my flight. I have always been the type of person to see the opportunities when faced with adversity, but your book has given me the insight, courage and determination to pursue my dream career. Thank you!

Nikki Ritchie

Dear Paul,

I recently finished your SUMO book and loved it. I read if looking for better ways to motivate the kids I work with … having finished it, I’m the one who was motivated. I’ve seen the damage we can do to ourselves when we are trapped by our behaviour and past problems. Your SUMO concepts offer an achievable process for overcoming the restrictions of our past.

Eric O’Halleran

Hi Paul,

Loved the book! Was able to pick it up and read it in a day. Got into trouble with my wife though, when I started quoting from it – she’s been telling me much of the same stuff over the past 27 years together!

Brian Bennet,Communications Director, UCB Radio

Paul,

I’m an avid SUMO supporter! Our senior management team were recently given your book and I immediately embraced the ideas/concepts. I’m now running a programme for ‘budding’ leaders of the company and they have each received a copy of SUMO. I’ve even developed a short quiz based on your book and have requested that over the next month, they specifically look for ways in which the SUMO principles will help them in their working/personal lives.

Rose Hurley

Hi Paul,

Just want you to know what a huge difference your SUMO book has made to my life. I strive to listen to my Inner Coach now and I truly feel positive and good about myself and my life. I have left the demons and mistakes of the past where they belong (in the past) and I have moved on to living the life I want and deserve. Thank you and keep up the good work.

Carol Chalmers-Hunt

Paul,

Just a quick note to say how much I enjoyed your book. Clients and colleagues (I bought several copies) have found the book to be motivational and entertaining. I particularly loved your personal stories which brought the book alive and made it so easy to read.

Helen Ralston,Director, Personnel Dynamics

Hi Paul,

I just wanted to congratulate you on your SUMO book. It was a great read and by far and away the best in the self-help category that I have read recently. I coach people for a living and having read a lot of these types of books, believe many fail because they are too abstract or difficult to put into practice. Your book, however, is full of practical things you can do straight away to start to make a difference. I particularly liked the ‘Ditch Doris Day’ chapter.

Rob Parker

Paul,

Reading your book has totally changed the way I think and see things. After going through a lot of challenging life experiences the book has helped me to move on and become a happier person within myself.

David Higgs,Special Needs Teacher

Hi Paul,

Having recently read your SUMO book, I decided to buy a copy for each member of staff. I’ve found it easy to read, humorous and above all, practical in the solutions it provides to meet the everyday challenges of life! Thank you.

Beverley Owen, Head Teacher

Hi Paul. Every now and then you pick up a book which really hits the mark. SUMO is just such a book; extremely thought provoking and humorous. It’s really had a valuable impact on the way I think and act and I will continue to SUMO! Many thanks.

Phillip Sefton,Vice President Commercial OperationsEurope & International, Qiagen Ltd

Introduction

‘You don’t have to be ill to get better’

Eric Berne

I spent 13 years at school. I learnt a lot. I learnt about algebra, how to use a Bunsen burner, how bad I am at woodwork, a few things about dinosaurs and the joys of life under the Romans. On reflection though, I don’t feel I learnt much about life and how to make the most of it. I explored the inner workings of a frog, but I never learnt about how to understand myself and other people. I learnt to stand up when a teacher came into the room and to hand in my homework on time if I wanted to avoid detention, but I wasn’t taught how to set goals, manage my emotions or how to handle conflict. For me, school prepared me for exams. It didn’t prepare me for life. I appreciate a lot has probably changed in education now, but that was my experience.

If you asked me a few years ago, ‘would you like your life to be a brilliant and wonderful experience both for you and those around you?’, I would have answered a resounding ‘yes’. However, if you then asked me how I intended to make this happen, I would probably have waffled on for several minutes before coming to the conclusion ‘I’m not so sure’. But I’ve learnt a lot over the last few years. My answer now would be very different.

Over these next seven chapters, you will get to hear what my answers are. They are based on over fifteen years studying psychology, running my own business and, more importantly, based on my observations and conversations with tens of thousands of people. My job as a professional speaker and my experience of running seminars on subjects related to ‘change, motivation and relationships’ has given me a fascinating insight into what does and doesn’t work in people’s lives. My work has taken me from Tanzania to Todmorden, from Hong Kong to Halifax, from India to Islington and from Malaysia to Manchester. Whatever the country, whatever the culture, I learnt this – people are basically the same. They have similar hopes, dreams and challenges. They want to improve their lives, be happy and create a better future for their children. Of course there are differences, but if you dig beneath the surface, you find overwhelming similarities.

Why SUMO?

A few years ago I came across the phrase SUMO. I don’t recall who said it but I do remember what it stood for – Shut Up, Move On. To some people this seems like a rather aggressive statement, but let me explain what I mean when I say ‘Shut Up, Move On’. Firstly, I am not suggesting people simply need to ‘get over it’ or ‘pull themselves together’ (although there may be occasions when both these responses are necessary). Neither does it mean ‘forgive and forget’ or ‘just ignore reality and get on with life’. SUMO for me captures the essence of what I believe are the key truths around success and fulfilment. Let me elaborate.

When I was a child I learnt the Green Cross Code. It was a code intended to keep children safe when crossing the road. I learnt the phrase ‘Stop, Look and Listen’. When I use the words ‘Shut Up’, I am encouraging people to stop what they’re doing, take some time out and look at their lives and reflect on how they are thinking and behaving. I want people to listen. Yes, be prepared to listen to others but, more importantly, listen to yourself. Go beyond the noise-filled, activity-driven, fast-paced existence of daily life and spend some time alone with your own thoughts. ‘Shut Up’ also means ‘let go’. As you read this book, there may be views and opinions you have about life that you have clung onto simply through habit. My goal is to challenge you to consider whether your outlook on life is helping or hindering you.

The ‘Move On’ part of SUMO is saying a number of things. It is meant as an encouragement that whatever your past experiences, your future doesn’t have to be the same. Tomorrow can be different from today – if you want it to be. Move On is asking you to look at your future, to see the possibilities that lie ahead, rather than be stuck in the reality of your current circumstances. It’s a call to take action, to do something. It’s a challenge not to ‘think on’ but ‘Move On’ and we’ll look at ways to make that happen.

The phrase SUMO now underpins my personal philosophy on how to make the most of life. It is a challenging phrase, but it’s also one that is meant to encourage and inspire you both in your work and personal life. Hopefully it’s a phrase you will always remember. In Latin SUMO means ‘choose’ and I sincerely hope what you’re about to read will help you make some wise choices in every aspect of your life.

Let me explain my approach in writing this book. Firstly, I have aimed to make the concepts I write about memorable. For instance, I’m convinced there is not a book in the world that has the concept ‘Ditch Doris Day’. I have also included sections called ‘The personal stuff’. It’s not compulsory that you read these sections, but I believe they bring life – and colour and context – to what we’re exploring. They also reveal my own struggles and occasional successes as I wrestle with applying these ideas to my own life.

To help you engage further with the material, I ask a number of questions. Your experience of this book will be richer and more revealing and rewarding when you spend some time, however briefly, chewing over your answers.

I’ve also sought to make the material simple and accessible (so much so that my organization now works in both primary and secondary schools helping children use the principles). But behind the simplicity are some well tested and tried tools and methodologies. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, Appreciative Inquiry and the work of the positive psychology movement all underpin my work. But relax. You don’t need an understanding of any of these in order to benefit from this book. So, whatever your background or your experience of reading this kind of book, my goal is simple – I want to provide ideas and insights that you can use. Immediately.

Finally, although you might not notice, I have tried to add some humour. The ideas we look at are very important, but that doesn’t mean we cannot have the occasional smile.

Enjoy

Paul McGee

Chapter 1

Has anyone ever said something to you and you’ve thought, ‘Well that’s just common sense’? Or ever made a discovery about how things work and thought ‘Why didn’t I think of that before?’