BDSM Extreme E-Book

Bianca Demel

• Herausgeber: via tolino media
• Kategorie: Erotik
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Beschreibung

Despite our ironclad policy of not taking part in our interviewees' games, we find ourselves caught between the ropes in the whirlwind of a bondage meeting. The third volume of the interview series with couples who play BDSM and live out all facets of this magical sexuality has once again taken the author duo all over Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The spectrum of this part ranges from a gifted carpenter who constructs hellish torture furniture for himself and his partner, to a couple who have turned almost their entire vacation home into an S&M playground (including stakes on the lawn behind it), to the customer of a dominatrix who drinks from the dog bowl in a pub and stays under the table in anticipation of really dirty games. In sixteen chapters, the two journalists report in detail and humorously about very different people and their painful experiences, personal development from the tent camp to the torture cellar and particularly dark passions, such as orgies with like-minded people and sweaty bondage practices in a transparent raincoat. The chapters are (lavishly) indecently illustrated by photographer Hermann Zeichen from Karlsruhe, who only presents pictures in gloomy black and white in this volume.

Leseprobe

BDSM Extreme

Couples talk about Bondage,Fetish & other Perversions

Bianca Demel

Stefan Meyer

Independently published

Contents

Title Page

Imprint

Does it fit?

Attention!

That's inside!

Wanted! Found!

We have done it (again)!

Water Games

Off the Role

Shared House & Partners

To Go for a Blow

From soft to hard to…

Old (Spanking) school

Wish comes true

Fresh in Foil

With no Respect

Open up!

Less Bark…

Matter of Lust

The Club of Ropes

Turn! Turn! Turn!

Dominum Domino

A Sadistic Interior

Completely crossed out

(We are) Close

111 Tips for Creative BDSM Games

Spank me!

Imprint

Copyright by Bianca Demel & Stefan Meyer, 2023

Editors: Bianca Demel & Stefan Meyer

Contact: Büro Heinrich Bien (BHB),

Lauthstrasse 54, 8o999 Munich, Germany

E-Mail: [email protected]

Important information for users of this book:

The editors and authors have taken the greatest possible care in publishing this book. All information in this book has been carefully considered and checked by the publisher and authors. No guarantee can be given for the accuracy of the information. The publisher and the authors accept no legal responsibility for the use of the published content and information. Liability of the authors, the publisher and its authorized persons for personal injury, property damage and financial loss is excluded.

The work, including its parts, is protected by copyright. Any use outside the limits of copyright law without the consent of the publisher is prohibited and punishable by law. This applies in particular to reproductions, translations and storage and processing in electronic systems.

1st edition, August 2023

Authors: Bianca Demel & Stefan Meyer

Project management and technical publication: Stefan Meyer

Cover design & photos: Hermann Zeichen

Does it fit?

Normalos: + + o o o

Interested parties: + + + + +

BDSM beginners: + + + + o

BDSM professionals: + + + + o

Fetishists: + + + o o

And please:

Attention!

All persons and actions in this book are fictitious. The practices described here (whether sexual or not) are fiction and should not be put into practice, as they can endanger the health of everyone involved. So: Read only, do not imitate!

Note on the photos: All photos, collages and drawings are only used to illustrate the chapters. The people mentioned in the texts are not shown in the pictures.

And because it's an upcoming issue: the texts in this book are free of artificial intelligence and have been typed by real people with twenty busy fingers. You will be professionally entertained by us and not inundated with meaningless empty texts. Everything you read here has been processed as carefully as possible by two well-trained and experienced brains!

About mother tongue and foreign language: We are not native speakers, but we have attempted to translate the texts for you as accurately as possible with the help of artificial intelligence, traditional dictionaries, and several years of language instruction in school.

We hope we have succeeded in this book! But please don't be disappointed if some parts don't sound like they were written by a great British or American poet. Especially because certain expressions and idioms cannot be easily transported from one language to another.

Nevertheless, we hope that we were able to incorporate some of the originality and linguistic wit of the German original into this translation.

That's inside!

Despite our ironclad policy of not taking part in our interviewees' games, we find ourselves caught between the ropes in the whirlwind of a bondage meeting. The third volume of the interview series with couples who play BDSM and live out all facets of this magical sexuality has once again taken the author duo all over Germany, Austria and Switzerland.

The spectrum of this part ranges from a gifted carpenter who constructs hellish torture furniture for himself and his partner, to a couple who have turned almost their entire vacation home into an S&M playground (including stakes on the lawn behind it), to the customer of a dominatrix who drinks from the dog bowl in a pub and stays under the table in anticipation of really dirty games.

In sixteen chapters, the two journalists report in detail and humorously about very different people and their painful experiences, personal development from the tent camp to the torture cellar and particularly dark passions, such as orgies with like-minded people and sweaty bondage practices in a transparent raincoat.

The chapters are (lavishly) indecently illustrated by photographer Hermann Zeichen from Karlsruhe, who only presents pictures in gloomy black and white in this volume.

Wanted! Found!

"Creative BDSM couples wanted for interviews! We are two journalists who want to get to know, understand and write about people and their nasty sexual practices for a book project. The more unusual what you do, the quicker you should get in touch with us. We will be happy to come to your city for the interviews! The coffee and beer are on us!"

Since 2018, we have published this text in this or a similar form in numerous internet forums. There have been tons of responses!

We have done it (again)!

The one piece of good news about naughty games you're holding in your hands or looking at on your e-book reader right now: we didn't even have a hard time compiling an exciting mix of personal stories from our recordings of interviews with people who have fallen for the unusual inclinations of BDSM in various forms and colors (in a positive sense, of course).

The other good news is that we have also evolved with the three volumes of this series. Author Stefan was fully aware that his quote, which he uttered while sipping the foam from a large cappuccino, would appear somewhere on these pages: "I've tied my wife up a few times during sex now. And although it's not really working yet, we're kind of enjoying it!"

He was fascinated by the report of a young woman who was able to concentrate much more intensely on stimulating her partner when she was aware that there was no escape through the bondage. "Many people like to pull away during or shortly after orgasm and disappear from their partner's radius of action." She can't fly when she's tied to the bed with her arms and legs outstretched, so she has to continue enduring the stroking even though she had long since passed her climax. "It's a crazy feeling," she says of these moments. "But without the bondage, I'd jump out of the window if she kept touching me."

In our experience, bondage is probably the most widespread BDSM practice. Restraints hold a fugitive firmly in place. The (dominant) partner can continue stroking even after the climax has been reached or passed and the other person may no longer feel like stroking. "It's definitely a strong feeling of power because she can no longer decide whether I should continue or when I should stop."

We hadn't even heard such phrases before we had our first conversations with the carefully selected couples - after all, we didn't want to get caught up with dangerous weirdos who would tell us absurd stories. And because we had offered to pay for the travel (as well as drinks and food), we kept a close eye on the emails. And in retrospect, we can proudly say that every encounter was an experience - not only from a professional point of view, but we also met really nice and often impressive people who not only live out and enjoy their sexuality to the full, but also put a lot of thought into what they are doing.

"Of course you measure your own life by such conversations." Interviews about drugs, the arms trade and with serious criminals provide a certain distance, but talking to enthusiastic couples about their sexual machinations that are so far removed from your own sexual intercourse? It makes you curious and actually motivates you to try it yourself (although it took us almost three books to write).

And author number two? Kurt from Austria gave Bianca a classic, simple ball gag: red rubber on a black strap. For the man from Lake Constance, the classic was too harmless (he preferred a more elaborate harness with more straps, more studs and more spikes), and he already had several of these in his wardrobe. Even Bruce Willis wears a more complicated model in the movie Pulp Fiction with a double strap at the neck and rings to the left and right of the gag at cheek level.

But this one is perfectly suitable for beginners and serves its purpose just as well as more elaborate models - at least that's what Kurt thinks. And Bianca didn't refuse, but instead put the item in her handbag with an innocent smile on her face - without saying another word about it later.

"The film made me realize for the first time that BDSM and toys like that actually exist," Bianca recalls from her teenage years in 1994. "And it looked brutal there, but also kind of sexy." When she came across this toy again more than fifteen years later and held it in her own hands, the memories from back then came flooding back. "Even though there was no sex scene in the movie where the thing was used, I immediately associated it with sex in my mind."

And it actually happened: "Of course I tried the gag," she says. But allegedly not during an intercourse with her partner. "It's a scary feeling when your jaws are mercilessly pushed apart by the hard ball," she says of the self-experiment alone in the quiet chamber.

Something has changed in our heads: instead of listening to the perverts with the objective expression of a neutral journalist, we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a wild game of bondage, fetish, fisting and flogging. Incidentally, after completing our research for a report on raised beds, we both put a box of herbs on the balcony - even if it's a completely different league that can hardly be compared to sexual interaction...

We broke new ground when writing the second and even more so with this third book. While the first volume (bad!) was still full of horror and a raised index finger, in the second volume (kink!) we have become much more relaxed in our tone, which is already visible in the titles: from "bad" as in "bad dog" to "kink", which can be translated as "bizarre and/or unconventional sex" and sounds really good as an amused, indignant exclamation in English - no longer like a senseless form of disturbed sexuality, but more like a call to play cheerfully and courageously with the subject.

This part follows a slightly different structure than the two previous volumes: initially, we bundled topics into chapters and thus, for the most part, let several couples have their say together under one heading and sometimes in a colorful mix. The advantage was that topics were viewed from different angles.

In this volume, we leave more space for the interviews and give each couple (at least in most cases) a full chapter for their very personal story. This leaves time to look a little behind the scenes of these people's games and learn something about their personal sexual development. On the other hand, this makes the topics more subjective, but at the same time gives them more detail and sensual depth.

In any case, we hope you enjoy reading it (as much as we enjoyed writing it) and look forward to hearing what you think. You can find out how to contact us (because we are actually available) at the end of the book. For now, however, we wish you a varied and inspiring start into the experiences of nice people and their very wicked games!

> Bianca & Stefan, September 2023

Water Games

It's not what you're probably thinking right now. This chapter is about real water and not what is known in sex slang as champagne or golden showers (i.e. urine). Instead, the next few pages are about the opposite of free-swimming, seahorses and Baywatch!

We meet Daniela and Mike in the Braustube of a traditional brewery in the old town of Münster. The pub is not famous for its beer or food, but for the table tops that many visitors talk about: Guests (formerly many students) have carved their names, dates and sayings into the thick wood. There is even a small drawing in one corner or another. The grooves are dark and greasy. We read and feel our way through the history of the table inch by inch and letter by letter, not noticing that the couple we have an appointment with have been standing next to us for a while, their faces reddened by the cold.

You can feel the winter in here, too. The air is hot and humid and the floor between the tables is wet and covered in grit.

The two of them are wearing thick winter jackets and hats: two red, two blue. Plus long scarves and mittens. He also has a rucksack with him. Under their jackets, they are wearing knitted winter sweaters with moose, reindeer or deer.

They are cute, chubby and a little clumsy. Daniela knocks a chair halfway across the bar when she pushes herself onto the bench against the wall behind the table. Mike shoots a - fortunately empty - beer glass from the next table with his hand, but catches it at the last moment and has to hold on to the chest of a lady at the next table with the flat of his hand to keep his balance.

Slapstick in the pub! While we choke down our smiles with some effort, the two of them make themselves comfortable and start by studying the menu in detail as if we weren't even there. This also gives us time to look at a nice couple who look like anything but what Daniela had written to us a few months earlier and made us particularly curious with her report. Once again, we stumble across the usual prejudices about how people who actively engage in BDSM look or behave.

Homemade Christmas presents would have been a suitable topic for our group at the table. But we didn't go to Münsterland right in the geographical Center of Germany to talk to them about harmless or even trivial topics. And because Daniela didn't start her first email with the sentence "I'm writing to you because...", we have a good question to start this interview with.

"He's not a hardened sadist," says Daniela about her husband, to whom she has been married for five years. The couple found each other and got married in no time at all. They are less than 60 years old together and also describe themselves as beginners when it comes to BDSM, having had no experience with other partners before they met.

At least that's true for Daniela. "I'm rather submissive anyway," she says about herself. The nursery school teacher is the understanding type. In conversation, she withdraws her opinion at lightning speed if she feels she is stepping on someone's toes. We can imagine her standing in a frenzied group of children and kindly asking them to please be a little quieter. That would be nice!

We were fascinated by the precision and clarity with which she described their machinations. And even now it is she who tells us about their goings-on together with a lot of feeling and plenty of detail.

"Submissive by nature is not a phrase I like," she says, "but I belong to the group of people who don't make big announcements during sex." Daniela doesn't take a man because she likes him and wants to have sex with him. She is taken - and she is happy when her partner does things with her that give him pleasure.

Doesn't she feel left out? Daniela shakes her head and laughs out loud. "Mike is a great man and I'm sure he asks me a thousand times whether I enjoy something and whether I should really do this or that." When she listens to these questions, the same answer always sounds deep inside her: "If it's fun for him, then I'll definitely do it!" As she says this, Mike strokes his partner's back with a bright smile.

"My wife has other methods to counteract this." Mike teaches German, history and politics at a grammar school in the surrounding area. He talks less thoughtfully, but no less clearly, about the chemistry that the two of them have shared for years.

"She's a night owl and can browse SM websites until five in the morning. I'm already asleep for six hours by then and usually miss her satisfying herself after reading." And when the two of them get it on, she always knows more, while he learns through trial and error. "That way she can control me," he says and laughs. "But that doesn't bother me a bit, because it makes me realize that she's interested in our sex." It also tells him how far he can go or when he doesn't go far enough for her to really enjoy it.

Mike stumbled across his sexual preference as a teenager at the annual summer camp. "I think most people become sadomasochists when they are alone with themselves and their thoughts."

In the middle of the night, the boys went out equipped with flashlights and ropes and attacked the girls in the tents, tying them up hand and foot - fun that had triggered much more in Mike's mind. "I sat in between and watched, mesmerized, as the girls laughed and screamed, trying to free themselves from the restraints."

He got to know the hogtie that night before he learned the term for it many years later: "We all tied up the same way: Prone, hands and elbows behind the back and with the rest of the rope pulled the bent feet up and wrapped the whole thing into a nice looking package." One boy also wrapped the long rope around a girl's ponytail so that her head was pulled back and she could hardly move. Horny then, horny now!

"I was standing guard next to a girl who had her big toes tied together." Oodles of hormones flooded his bloodstream as he crouched silently and thoughtfully in the dark, looking at the strapped bodies, the ropes and the bound feet. The camp grew quieter by the minute as the girls surrendered to their captivity, while Mike became more and more aroused.

"That's still his favorite position," Daniela interjects quietly, carefully and from the side. Then she suddenly looks as if she has interrupted him unjustifiably or even cheekily. But instead of reprimanding her sternly and dominantly, he takes her hand, smiles at her and presses an intense (wet) kiss to her cheek. After all, she is the presence of his fantasy. "I couldn't live out my sexuality without my wife." We both have great respect for this sentence.

But long before he met her, Mike returned to the camp in his mind night after night. "For years, there was no other idea that excited me," he explains. During his adolescence, he became stuck on a sexual style that couldn't be practiced with everyone. "It made me feel like an outsider early on when it came to girlfriends." While his friends bragged about what they did with their girls (mainly French kissing and outright oral sex), Mike remained stuck in the dream of the summer camp.

His cheeks are no longer red from the cold, but now from the dark strong beer (much more so than before). It's not easy for him to talk about his perversions, especially because the one experience that had such an impact on him was when he was a boy.

But the strong beer helps him to reveal himself to us. He is silent for the second half of his glass and we see how he spends a few minutes reflecting on his sexual development as on his current emotional state.

"I find it incredibly uncomfortable," Daniela explains how it feels when she is tied up in the position that he still likes best. "The blood flow to my arms and legs then is just a matter of luck, and he can't get to the important parts anymore."

It's obvious: Hogtie is everywhere in the digital bondage world. If you type various words related to bondage into the search engine, this is what you see first and foremost. Women are entangled in ropes and straps from top to bottom. High heels and ball gags round off the glossy images. The face in the foreground, the ropes and the bound legs at the other end with the high heels in the blurred background make for an impressive motif.

However, groping, touching or penetrating is completely impossible in this position.

The knees are pressed tightly together, the front of the lady lies flat and out of reach on the bed or floor, ropes and legs run over the buttocks at the back (top) and barricade access to the center of female pleasure there too.

"I weigh almost ninety kilos," admits Daniela. "That means the odd roll of flab is also in the way, which is not the case with a leaner model."

Her sensitive tissue is another reason that makes playing with the ropes more difficult: "If he ties me too tightly, I quickly end up with bruises or even with big bruises." When playing during the summer vacations, she has often had to buy more stuffy swimwear in order to be able to lie by the pool or on the beach.

Solving both problems at once didn't work. They didn't want to succeed with a comfortable and open bondage.

Then they both had the idea that they at least wanted to free their play from the floor or mattress. "We signed up for a Shibari workshop and went to Munich for a weekend just for that."

Mike had already screwed hooks into the ceiling beforehand. The suspension bondage was intended to make it easier for him to reach her genitals. In space travel, huge rockets are used to escape gravity. And it's no less strenuous an undertaking in the bedroom either: Even with "plenty" of rope, she broke off any form of "floating" after a few minutes - breathless or because of too much pain in different parts of her body. "I'm probably just too heavy or too sensitive for these acrobatics."

Her husband is not the merciless sadist who carries on regardless and keeps her howling (or gagged and muffled crying) from the ceiling. "I want her to feel that she is powerless," he explains. "I don't want her to be uncomfortable with it." So the two of them switched from sharp-cutting ropes to softer straps and later to wide leather cuffs. They even bought a love swing to give them more flexibility and freedom in different bondage positions.

They discovered the solution to the serious difficulties during play rather by chance on a trip to a leisure pool: "We made out in the bubbly whirlpool and he carried me in his arms as if I was weightless." But the idea of playing in the bath seemed difficult to realize: "Our bathtub is too small and we couldn't sneak over the fence into the outdoor pool at night."

Giving up was not an option for the two of them: With white cable ties hidden under his swimming shorts, they set off again to the leisure pool and straight into the whirlpool. "We thought the bubbles would hide what we were up to."

After all, Mike had managed to tie Daniela's hands behind her back in the bubble bath and stroke her a little between her legs.

"But it was just too crowded that day," says Daniela about the adventurous excursion. "We didn't have a chance to tie up her legs as well." What made their failure even more painful was that the pair had finally found a way to tie Daniela up comfortably and weightlessly. "In between, we were alone for a few minutes at most before the next bathers joined us in the pool." Two politely tortured smiles to welcome the new company.

Water was the clear solution! The couple made their next attempt on a weekend trip to Austria. In a valley near Lake Wörthersee, Mike had found a wellness hotel that had both a swimming pool and hot tubs on the terraces of the rooms. "An expensive treat," explains Daniela, rolling her eyes.

Despite all the desire and anticipation, it was still wellness, because the swimming pool was closed in the evening and the terrace had privacy screens to the left and right, but where the view of the Alps was like a poster from a photo catalog during the day, a black hole yawned at night.

"Even when I was dressed, I felt like I was being watched in the room with the curtains open," reports Daniela. It was even worse outside in the dark. "The tub also had a rim made of wooden slats that were razor-sharp." They had planned for him to tie her up first and then lift her into the water. But Mike would never have been able to move his wife over it without getting massively scratched all over.

Back at home, they paid over five hundred euros for an inflatable hot tub. A timely investment, as the couple - like the rest of the country - were stuck in quarantine due to coronavirus. Mike stapled reed mats to the walls of the house and the pergola so that they were unobserved and alone in the warm water. Privacy is a very special requirement for S&M.

"That was the first time we were able to experiment in peace." Instead of using hard cable ties, he wrapped her ankles together with soft cotton ropes and held her Body effortlessly in the water on one hand with her face always just above the surface.

"Always being close to being submerged was an added thrill."

She breathed warm, humid air and drops splashed onto her face so that she could barely see anything of her partner. "But I could feel the restraints and his hands all over my body."

He was also able to lace her up tighter than when she was dry. The buoyancy took the pressure off her body and even a really tight hogtie became bearable.

But as many new ways of playing the warm water offered them, it also had a few disadvantages: "I had to be incredibly careful that she didn't slide her face under the surface of the water." If he was busy with her feet or needed both hands to knot a rope, it became complicated because he had to hold her in the air at the same time. In addition, he could only change positions slowly and carefully without pulling her under the water or causing a wave created by his upper body to rush over her face.

"First we experimented with a travel pillow." She wore the U-shaped, inflatable collar around her neck. This kept her head above the water most of the time, although it was not possible to turn with it either. On the contrary: if she swam with the croissant pillow on her stomach in the water, she couldn't even lift her head to catch at least a little air. "It almost went really wrong once."

The second solution from the sports store worked better: Daniela now wears a clear snorkel mask that allows her to see more and a few seconds underwater is no longer a problem. "The breathing tube has a safety valve that closes so that no water can run in," explains Mike the more technical features of the gadget. "It also reminds us of a gas mask that we once saw in a fetish video." The couple is happy with this solution in every respect.

Minor problems with bondage accessories and the watery environment remain unresolved: the knots in the cotton ropes are almost impossible to untie when wet. "I've often had to free her with a box cutter," says Mike. He once tried to lift her over the soft edge of the pool to the dry bank, but the weight pushed the rubber wall down so far that the pool was only half full of water afterwards. "What a waste of energy!"

Anyway: The pool was perfect! Daniela and Mike ventured into new experiments, some of which had undesirable side effects: the metal nipple and labia clamps fell victim to rust. "We now blow-dry them after playing so that they don't oxidize and we can use them more than once."

Many vibrators also promise to be waterproof, but are not when used underwater for long periods of time. "Luckily they only have batteries in them, otherwise we would have died from a power surge long ago," jokes Mike.

Meanwhile, the two of them go swimming with a tea trolley from the flea market. "It's just the right height for her body to be just below the surface of the water when she is hogtied." And just like he saw as a teenager at camp, he ties a rope around her ponytail to pull her head back and up so that it is held just above the water - just enough so that she can still breathe through her mouth and nose as long as she doesn't make too big a ripple. "That way I can touch her with both hands everywhere without having to be constantly on the lookout."

On the completely carved tabletops, the couple's hands seek and find each other again and again, even if they have to separate briefly for the next sip from a glass.

Once again, we are amazed at how big the gap is between private perversion and the normal everyday life of a somewhat portly and somewhat cozy couple. Although we try hard, we can't imagine them in the scenes they are talking about.

Nice people! At this meeting, the title of this book is more of a program than usual. The noise of the pub and the juicy topic make our conversation difficult, which - as always - drags on until shortly after midnight.

We leave the pub as the waitresses try to clean up the chippings with the mob and fish the last empty glasses from the deserted tables. Outside, we talk for a few more minutes as the couple have plans to swap the inflatable pool for a larger, fixed hot tub.

"It would also have a sunbathing area that's just the right depth." Mike would then no longer have to paint the tea trolley with protective paint to prevent rust. "The color of that stuff is horrible," Daniela adds.

"Beating would be nice," says Daniela and her breath flies down the street as white mist.

The synthetic fabric of the thermal jackets rustles from the movements of the people wrapped up warmly in them. We think of a scene from a Jules Verne film in which divers walk on the seabed in slow motion, barely able to keep their balance.

"If I were to thrash their feet above the surface of the water, there's again the risk that one of the neighbors might see us after all." Even though there is plenty of privacy around the pool, their play takes place fully hidden in the warm bubbling water.

"Our game continues to develop," says Daniela. "Playing in the water is a great experience, but it also has its limits." We sense the couple's desire to move back to dry land.

It's Mike in particular who becomes more detached from his camp memories with every session. "It was a wonderful experience," he says. "But at some point you have to let go and move on to new dreams and phantasies, otherwise you'll be stuck with an old memory for the rest of your life." He looks over at Daniela in love. She helps him to transfer his own excitement to the relationship between the two of them and take these new, exciting steps.

"We want to experiment soon with clamps that can be pressed together with screws." Whether they are rust proof will become clear after the first bath in warm water. "We've also considered electricity, but as we know, water conducts it very well," says Mike. That's why the two have discarded experiments with electric shock devices for the time being.

Somewhere the desire to play in the dry is still burning. "We could do completely different things there."

We are amazed at the incredible openness that both of them have shown us throughout the conversation. Would we talk so openly about our sex? We wouldn't!

They don't mince their words when they say goodbye either, because for Daniela and Mike, the conversation out here on the deserted street between the pretty old houses of Münster is over forever and ever: "If we meet again, we'll just pretend we don't know each other!"

> Daniela (submissive) & Mike (dominant), Münster

Off the Role

In the very first book, we wanted to write a chapter on role-playing games because we had read a lot about them during our very first research about SM on the Internet.

Role play is leaving the world of toys and costumes. It largely takes place in the minds of those involved. We can be kings and thieves, kidnapped princesses and daring dragon slayers. And because there is nothing to look at or touch in pure role-play, it can go far beyond the imaginable (and feasible).

Unfortunately, there was little to be heard in the interviews about completely outlandish ideas. We never even encountered cowboys and Indians or robbers and policemen in a sadomasochistic form, although such childhood games can certainly be formative experiences that are carried over into adult sexual behavior. But nobody is brave enough to talk about it openly and honest.

We often heard of people who had to assert themselves against older brothers or friends or underwent tests of courage that became lifelong companions - and occasionally led to BDSM games later in life.

We are convinced that the story of Siegfried and Brünnhilde (from the Song of the Nibelungs: the virago-ish Brünnhilde hangs Gunther tied to the wall at night so that she can sleep in peace) is surely being performed in some bedroom out there.

Not to tell the reader the romantic story of the city girl and the goatherd, in which he puts her over his lederhosen knee and spanks her bottom in her lace panties with a few freshly cut canes... Role-playing is the pinnacle and the gray area of BDSM scenarios at the same time. Roles are played when the fantasy is so drastic that it can or must no longer be put into a more or less realistic session.

The moral basis of these ideas is often weak and wobbly. The principle of "it's only kinky when no one joins in" disappears into the fog, because role-playing is of course only done as if…

In a report by a professional dominatrix on a video platform, she explained on camera that she had even been offered criminal topics in exchange for money. While researching on the Internet, we also came across (strange) stories where it was mainly men who acted out illicit fantasies with (their) women in role play.

No one has revealed anything to us that would have so clearly crossed moral boundaries. Nevertheless, we often admired the courage of the people we spoke to because they confided in their partner and in us even when they had unusual wishes and crazy ideas (or even something far beyond).

This honesty must be handled professionally. When we write about something, it should be presented neutrally (neither ridiculously nor dramatically exaggerated) - even if it leaves our moral framework or that of our readers.

Want some examples? A husband wanted his wife to poop down his throat while they are playing hard. She told us (and him) that she would refuse forever and ever, but at least she responded to his fantasies with dirty talk and physical hints. She has been arousing him for years by using words to get his mind going and repeatedly sitting on his face with her bare bottom.

A young woman from Munich needed several months to elicit from her boyfriend the best way to tickle her in order to get sexually aroused in a proper manner. Although she tried to realize his thoughts and wishes as accurately as possible, she could never really hit the nerve. "He had simply built up a false idea in his dreams of how something like this would go down." Nevertheless, he was happy with what she was able to offer him.

To better understand how and why people talk about things they usually only dream about, our first port of call is the young domina Mona from Berlin. On the way back from one of the last interviews for this book, we made another detour to the German capital and have booked a hotel as a precaution from previous experiences with the outstanding Mistress.

Mona is passionate, almost obsessed with her profession. She takes her clients seriously and puts a lot of effort into what she stages for paying men on five to fifteen days and nights a month in various studios in Berlin and elsewhere in Germany and Switzerland.

Once she's in the mood to talk, even the relaxed rules for curfews in Berlin reach their limits. What's more, there's no chance of ordering non-alcoholic drinks with her. So it's always going to be late and fun. Mixed with loads of fear for the next morning to come.

The truly impressive lady is strikingly pretty (just over twenty years old according to her internet profile, but estimated to be just under thirty if you look closely). With these looks and a radiant personality, she always has the first and last word - with both female and male waiters, guests around and other spear carriers.

The suggestion for the first round of drinks comes from her and she also makes the final adjustments and has the mineral water removed when we try to end the evening standing more or less upright.

At the last meeting, she repeatedly ordered vodka with slices of cucumber in a copper mug (known as Moscow Mules). Not really something for our sensitive, creative writing brains, but luckily there are digital dictation machines that take over when our hand motor skills slowly give up due to the alcohol.

With fresh batteries in the dictaphone and the diplomatic solution not to let the water be crossed off our order, we meet Mona in a café on a large traffic circle in Berlin Kreuzberg (a clearly less posh part of the city).

Red plush benches and dark green armchairs made of the same fabric fill the room. We look for a table at the back of the bar, whose walls are covered in pipe chess patterns that presumably come to life when you cross the alcohol limit. Perhaps a good test of how far the young woman will push us this time.

Mona has a day off (domination business) and surprises us with an unusual outfit for her: jeans and a tie-dye T-shirt, barefoot in well-worn sneakers instead of her usual tight black dress and definitely shoes with plenty of heels.

At another meeting she even has a slave (customer) with her, who was hoping to get a really dirty deal from her after our conversation and more shameful measures in public.

Highballs for everyone - a rather harmless drink, but one that makes drunk too quickly in the heat of Berlin's dry summer. Anyway…

The mixer treats its guests to a generous drink with plenty of booze in it. Every sip tastes like a big gulp straight from the vodka bottle. What other guests are happy about is a disadvantage for us if we want to follow the conversation attentively for a long time and experience the next morning without a headache. Luckily for us, Mona has also ordered a carafe of water. That way, we shift the quenching of our thirst to the small glasses.

Do you also role-play? For Mona, this is the alarm question par excellence. "The big studios have themed rooms where ninety percent of preferences can be acted out."

Rooms in baroque and brothel style for classic whore and concubine scenarios. Dungeons, torture chambers and clinics for the more classical S&M preferences.

"Some studios have special dressing rooms for rubber and leather, where every fetishist gets their money's worth." And it's not just about getting dressed. "I have a lot of customers who I can park kneeling between the hanging clothes and they are more than happy to do nothing but sniff and touch for a while." Luck can be as simple as that.

"Munich has a studio with a giant vagina for birth games."

We have to swallow as Mona chats on and lists the weird features of special studios. While the fully tiled bathroom is standard in studios today, those in the know will also find rubber cells, funeral rooms (Mona shows us a photo of an altar on which an empty coffin has been laid out), mortuaries and autopsy rooms if they do an intensive online search. "I once spoke to a studio operator who wanted to recreate a temple of sacrifice and even a cemetery." However, such plans are not intended for a few exotic birds: "The desire to be buried alive is not that rare."

If you don't even fit into this very broad spectrum of BDSM preferences and fetishes, ask Mona (or another dominatrix of your choice) about role play.

"These men have fantasies in their heads that can't be realized with some dirty toys from the web-store." Mona blows air soundlessly from her pursed lips. You actually have to differentiate between two types of fantasies: "The harmless type of customer doesn't know what I can do and therefore doesn't come out with it because they're afraid I'd be overwhelmed by a suggestion or wouldn't feel like it," she explains.

The Berlin-based dominatrix realizes feasible wishes immediately and without restraint: "One customer always imagined that his wife would leave him tied up in front of the studio door at night, press the doorbell and make off."

Together with a colleague, they made the game as realistic as possible for him.

"Unfortunately, he fell out of the car when we opened the trunk lid," Mona reports. The conversation is interrupted by a minute of laughter. After dabbing the tears from our faces, Mona continues: "We thought he'd broken all his bones, but he thought it was cool that we were so hard on him."

"The second type usually doesn't come right out on the phone because they know they're on thin moral ice."

At this point, the dominatrix becomes a psychologist and is often spoiled for choice herself: "Most hang up, a few talk their way out of it (and then hang up for sure), some don't have enough courage to tell the truth, which then becomes a harmless but probably unsatisfactory session for the customer, and the small group that remains have something in store that makes even me turn pale." Mona grimaces.

"It's always difficult when I have to guess." Even the seemingly omnipotent mistress can't see inside a slave's head.

Then the dominatrix serves up something hearty: Classic role-playing games include - please don't be alarmed - slaughter, cannibalism, castration, crucifixion, amputations... "One customer wanted to be turned inside out," she concludes the list.

Anal prolapse is the technical term for the (actually dangerous) exit of the rectum from the rectum, which has been popular in the porn industry for a few years now because these images are somewhere between terrifying and frightening. "I regularly have to shove my hand in as deep as possible, both up and down. But most of it takes place in the head of the victim."

We politely ask Mona not to feed our writing pads with any more examples. "There are plenty of dominatrices who do this because they actually find role play more harmless than real spanking."

Mona is more rigorous: "If I don't enjoy it, then I won't do it," she says after a short pause for thought. "And if it's morally wrong, I tell the man that very clearly and he can leave the studio subito."

But there are also funny ones in the commercial sadistic lifestyle: "He had registered as a normal customer," Mona begins the next story. One of the weirder inquiries sat opposite her in the studio last year without having called to let her know.

"The man wanted to be invisible," says Mona. She has to laugh at herself at the memory of the unusual date.

We take a break from talking to further increase the alcohol level in our bloodstream with the freshly served highballs.

"He wanted to lie naked on the floor in the studio and I was supposed to walk over him, flick cigarette ash on him, stand over his face so that he could see everything very personal."

The experienced dominatrix suspected that there might be more to it than that. However, the client rattled on with vague arguments for almost half an hour without giving anything really tangible.

"At some point, you know for sure that someone is hiding something from you." Knowledge of human nature is a priceless asset in this job.

And then came the part that Mona had somehow already expected: "He then confessed to me that he always wanted to be so invisibly close to me. He wanted to see me dominate other customers, he wanted to ride in the back of the car, he wanted to cower in the corner of my bathroom at my Home when I was in the shower or even sitting on the toilet."

It feels like every second customer begs for a submissive permanent position in her (real) life.

"I would have turned him down on the phone," she says. The dominatrix ignored the request and played along for an hour, but her mind was elsewhere: "I left the studio that evening with a bad feeling. I wouldn't have been surprised if the guy had ambushed me."

Fortunately, he truly remained completely invisible - as he had wished - and never contacted the young Berlin woman again. "But things can Sometimes go wrong," says the young dominatrix. "You can be sure that you never really know!"

According to Mona, such moments are not uncommon. "One customer has already offered to quit his job and leave his family if I accept him as a long-term slave." Would he be counted into the employment statistics then?

Many role-playing games revolve around the mistress's favor. "The slave application interview is the winner among role-playing games," Mona estimates. "And the ulterior motives are clear." Men hope for the real favor of the unreal ladies and believe that this will lay the foundation for a long and happy relationship between a real mistress and a more realistic slave.

"Sometimes they don't want to understand that the studio is not my apartment and the men are not my friends or partners."

When emotions are involved in a business deal, such misunderstandings can occur. "Terrorists call it Stockholm syndrome," says the woman, giggling and emptying half her glass in one go.

By now, we have become accustomed to Mona's drastic comparisons.

> Mona (Dominatrix), Berlin

We can't say Ferocious at all or only with the pronunciation of a drunk.

"Just Luzi," says Lady Luzi Ferocious.

We are delighted (not impressed, not amazed). The petite, blonde-haired woman is a professional dominatrix in Hamburg, although she doesn't work in the red light district on the famous Reeperbahn, but serves her clients in a studio in the south of the city - far away from any harbor or brothel backdrop. She also regularly goes on tour all over Europe.

"There is some demand" seems an understatement if we are to believe the words of this thoroughly styled and trained woman.

"Dominatrix is my only occupation," she explains matter-of-factly. "You can make a living from it and you always have something good to talk about." Luzi makes no secret of her job. Friends and acquaintances supposedly know what she does. "It's sometimes difficult with men because they immediately switch to power play or think I'm doing it with everyone," she says.

Her real friends, on the other hand, are all relaxed about it and have no problem with the rather unusual job. "Except for my secret-devotee girls, who are all hoping for a free and extensive spanking session."

We noticed her email almost a year earlier because she had written a long text about the fact that there are too many men who have outlandish desires that are no longer in the "border area".

Luzi grew up upstream on the Elbe. In GDR times, the small town of Lauenburg was just such a border area, which she experienced as a small child: "I could see into the other Germany from my father's office," she says.

Three espresso martinis stand on the polished counter in front of us (vodka and espresso are mixed with plenty of sweet coffee liqueur to make this so-called New Era drink palatable).

Behind it, a gilded lion poses on the wall. The ambience is elegant, classy and quiet in this bar, which is located in a side street a stone's throw from Hamburg City Hall. Outside, a mixture of Christmas lights and plenty of rain bathes the houses in a golden play of light. What looks pretty from the inside is actually wet and bitterly cold.

Luzi's lively nature isn't the only thing causing trouble. She comes straight from the studio and arrives half an hour late. We have ninety minutes until the bar closes. And we definitely don't want to continue the conversation outside at night and in this weather.

As soon as we greet her, we notice that she is missing a few false nails on both hands. "It's a job that requires strength and physical effort," she answers the question, which we don't even have to ask out loud.

"Last month I strained both shoulders and before that I sprained my lower left knuckle because I was wearing shoes that were too high."

Professional (brutal) ladies seem to be more careful with their clients than with themselves: "All dominatrices refuse to cause any kind of physical injury."

The legal liability and the risk of lawsuits and charges are simply too great. "Even welts on the back can be a problem for married men," she says. "On the other hand, the desire for really brutal play is huge."

It takes us a few minutes to get used to Luzi's superlative language.

"What really annoys me are men who want to play their crazy head games with me, even though they know that it's beyond me and I won't go along with it." Her online profile - as with many other professional dominatrixes - regulates the offer and the taboos clearly. "And that's really meant honestly and true, although many potential customers think it's a question of negotiation or sympathy." Never ever spend a blink on the sympathy part.

For example, Luzi likes to play the strict teacher or the cuckolded wife who wants to get revenge on her husband with a good, intense beating.

"A good two thirds of men dream of this kind of thing." Although almost all of her customers want the standard session, some of them probably have something else in mind. Off and over becomes possible then.

"I have a client who calls me mom or mother when I spank him in a red latex costume."

Normal people usually switch off the lights, close their eyes and keep quiet when they think about sex in their fantasy world. These definitely do not!

In contrast, many dominatrices look deep into the souls of their clients. "Anyone who can't stand that shouldn't do the job," says Luzi. "I'm also completely hardened," she explains. "In most cases, I try to understand where such unusual preferences and ideas come from, especially when the customer expresses very strange wishes."

One of her regular customers wants to be strangled to death at the beginning of the session - just for show.

"Then I'll have my way with a fake corpse for an hour," the young woman tries to joke, but sees from our shocked faces that it doesn't work at all.

Luzi orders a Gin Basil Smash - the house specialty with a sprig of basil as a garnish on a handful of ice cubes, which are surrounded by gin and lemon juice in the glass. "It's super sweet," says the dominant lady after emptying half the drink in one gulp without removing the spicy greenery first.

"Last time he brought a real body bag," she continues.

"He pretends to be so dead that I have to pull his entire body weight back and forth and push him across the room." Dominating is a strength sport that sometimes involves breaking fingernails.

"It's a wonder I don't have calluses on my hands like a bricklayer."

Simulated necrophilia is not a problem for the woman, who says she is neither naturally blonde nor under thirty (although both are listed facts in her online profile).

"I then say things like: he's much more attractive dead than alive and his cock is also harder due to rigor mortis." We smile, hold our breath and then all three of us have to laugh heartily and for a long time. That's real black humor.

"Soon I want to tie a piece of paper to his toe like you see in crime series." Morally, the dominatrix has no problems with this rather difficult topic.

"It's just a game," she says. "Of course, if he wanted a dead playmate, things would be completely different." So about once a month, she spends a few hours with a mock-dead person, whom she always successfully brings back from the realm of the dead at the end of the session.

"I beat him and increase the hardness and speed until he starts to moan," she explains. Then the two of them lie in each other's arms, crying happily and celebrating the slave's resurrection.

"Even if it's all just an act, the man loses his composure every time and actually bursts into real tears." Luzy suspects that he otherwise has little opportunity to put this unusual fantasy into practice.

Luzy is convinced that even in the brains of average people, weird (extreme) things are wafting through their minds. The difference between a cozy allotment and an overheated S&M studio: "With people like me, everything comes to the surface that would otherwise probably not even be said in your own marriage bed."

But we've actually arranged to meet the young dominatrix in Hamburg because her creepiest story has to do with a topic that interests us and sends shivers down our spines in equal measure: "The question of forced slaughter and cannibalism is not so rare," says Luzy, which once again leaves us speechless. Fortunately, such moments can be bridged with a long sip from the cocktail glass.

She makes the artificial blood for such games herself: "Some of the commercial liquids smell terrible." Cameras still do not catch this sense.

She stores the mixture of a little flour, water, food coloring and cocoa in the fridge in the studio's break room and puts the bottle in the microwave briefly if necessary. "It's more authentic when it is warm and the homemade blood also smells really good through the cocoa."

We notice that she's talking about blood and not a colored liquid that looks like blood, but we don't dig any further into this psychological detail.

"The client wanted me to whip him to the bone." Apart from this - more or less unusual - detail, the session began like the typical routine of a commercial dominatrix in Hamburg, just like anywhere else in the world.

"A colleague always makes herself scrambled eggs with ham during the break," Luzy continues. She borrowed a few strips of sliced bacon from the lady in the shared fridge and placed them on her customer's backside before hitting it with a wide leather paddle (makes a lot of noise, hurts, but leaves relatively faint marks).

"I then splattered the meat with plenty of blood during the beating."

She told the customer that the punishment was so severe that the skin was already peeling off his buttocks.

As proof, she held a blood-soaked strip of smoked pig in front of his face. "What happened next seriously scared me," Luzy continues. "Although hardly anything can actually scare me that easily."

The customer was in a frenzy. He snatched the ham from the woman's hand and greedily popped the dripping red piece into his mouth.

"I just wanted it to look a bit more realistic," explains the dominatrix with a whispered undertone of justification. "But somehow I hit a sensitive nerve with it."

Stunned, the dominatrix watched as the customer greedily devoured slice after slice. "He sucked the last strip out of a puddle on the floor and swallowed it without chewing once."

"If he had mentioned it at the beginning, it might have been half as bad, but his reaction came suddenly and was just too violent."

Fortunately, the session had come to an end. As if in a trance, the dominatrix had taken the client into the shower and cleared the room of fake blood (the man had disposed the ham himself). She also let the rapturous final conversation pass rather absent-mindedly. "I hoped he wouldn't recommend me to anyone else in his league of dreams."

"I was glad when he was gone," she confesses. "The way he ate the flesh all covered in blood - I'll never forget the sight."

Even if it was all just a game, a little of the truth of a truly unusual fantasy shone through at that moment.

The bartenders were relaxed when we exceeded the opening hours and Luzi wanted to give us one last, quirky story: "A customer once wanted to undo his birth," she begins, after we drank a pale yellow liqueur from small glasses, which was on the house and meant to be the actual end of the evening.

While we rummage around in our brains in the death wish category, the woman quickly enlightens us: "He had the idea of wanting to crawl back into his mother's womb."

The experimental dominatrix found this interesting and did not break off the preliminary talk. "Making something like that happen spontaneously was more of a problem, after all, I'm not built wide enough underneath for a man weighing a hundred kilos."

In the studio's rubber room, she found a huge truck tire tube with a diameter almost the same as her height. "With the help of a colleague, we managed to wrap a rope around the middle of the tube." This pressed the sides together and created a shape that resembled a vagina or closed lips.

"First I put the man in a latex suit and then clamped the thing between my legs." Luzi doused everything with lubricant and eventually the customer managed to wriggle through the tied-up tube.

"I almost had to do the splits," the woman explains the completely absurd scene.

Once on the other side, she put him in a heavy latex bag and tied his body up with wide straps. "I wanted to give him the feeling of being in the birth canal or in the womb."

To break up the imaginative role play in a meaningful way, she punished him after a while by freeing him from the rubber womb with a mock caesarean section.

"We were both very satisfied at the end," says Lucy.

Although the client had refrained from any kind of contact with his private parts, he had left with stars in his eyes. "And I was proud that I spontaneously had such a good idea to make a huge pussy out of the tire tube."

> Lady Luzi Ferocious (Dominatrix), Hamburg