Climbing My Mountains E-Book

Maureen Buchanan

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Beschreibung

I went through a very challenging time in my life. I changed from a very independent person to one who needed someone to be with me all the time. This was not possible and I now believe the times I had to spend alone forced me to draw on my own strength which was still there under the surface. 

Leseprobe

Maureen Buchanan

Climbing My Mountains

A Journey Through Anxiety and Depression

I would like to dedicate this book to all the people who were concerned about me and offered help and support at a very challenging time.BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 Munich

Prologue

Climbing My Mountains

A Journey Through Mental Illness

Prologue

I would like to share my story. I have focused on the times I have struggled with depression and anxiety. I am very interested in analogies and I have used the analogy of a journey over varying terrains as an illustration of what each step felt like. I am very aware of the people who have accompanied me on the journey and my faith has helped me to believe that God has also accompanied me. I love the Footprints Verse and when I look back and see one set of footprints I know that God was carrying me. This is a story for everyone and I hope that all my readers will be able to relate to my story which is a very human account of good times and times of adversity and struggles.

At the age of ten, in 1961, I settled in Australia with my parents, my sisters and two great Aunts. My Dad was working in the Merchant Navy in Australia and had been for a few years. He had been an absent parent for extended periods in my childhood and at times our relationship was tenuous. As I entered my teens I was aware that Dad had spent time in a prison of war camp during the war. While he didn’t talk about his experiences a lot I remember him describing a game of soccer at the camp. I believe that the German soldiers joined in. I would now like to share two of Dad’s experiences during the war, which I learned about later. Firstly, he was walking through the streets of London when the air raid siren sounded. He could not get to a shelter in time and a German plane flew overhead. The pilot attempted to release the bomb when the mechanism jammed and Dad was saved. Later, Dad was part of the crew on an Irish Merchant ship which was targeted by a German ship. Dad’s ship sank and he found himself entangled in a rope which he couldn’t free himself from. He prayed and asked God to help him. The rope moved apart and he was free to swim to the surface where he was pulled aboard the German ship. He was the only survivor and as Ireland was a neutral country, the Germans gave him a choice to join their navy and fight for them or go to a prison of war camp. He chose the latter. These experiences have increased my faith and I now think of Dad as a special person who cared for his family.

I would like to share three moving experiences. One of my Aunts was in hospital and she was close to death. I gave her rosary beads. She held onto the cross and suddenly became distressed. She described a garden and a locked gate preventing her from entering. She was using the cross as a key and it would not open the gate. I took the rosary beads from her and she became peaceful once more. I was not present when my other Aunt was nearing her final moments. My sister was the only one in the room with My Aunt. She was asked by my Aunt to leave the room so that the people in the corner could talk to her. Mum had dementia and did not recognise myself or my sister when we visited her in the nursing home. My sister was with her before she passed away and Mum said “you are my daughter and I love you”. These experiences stay with me and give me a lot of hope.

My Early Life

I remember my school days with mixed emotions. I settled into a new life mostly accepted by other children at school. High School was more traumatic. I did not make friends easily and when I was accepted into a group I had to cope with some racial slurs from another student who was also a migrant.

As I moved into my teenage years I experienced issues faced by most young people approaching adulthood. There were stressful times, relationship issues and low times along with times of contentment when the demons went away. My school years in an all-girls high school were challenging. I started with no friends until a teacher suggested I befriend another student who also had no friends. From there I joined a group of students. Most were friendly but one who sat behind me made racist comments to the student next to her which I overheard. I remember crying, on one occasion, and feeling demoralised. Generally I had no confidence and very low self-esteem.

When I left school I tried nursing but quit after six weeks unable to cope with the stress and expectations. I went up to Sydney to work in a bank and continued to struggle at times with feelings of inferiority. While I wanted to leave home I experienced a sense of insecurity and found it difficult at times to get on with the older lady I shared with. She tended to be critical and I felt inadequate. I remember pretending to have a virus and catching the train home for a break. I moved a couple of times and I ended up sharing with a lady the same age as I. She was a very good friend and I felt more settled for the first time. I also met my future husband at a dance and he was a wonderful support.