Help! My Family Makes Me Sick E-Book

Peter S. Fischer

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 271

Beschreibung

"Not deviating a single meter, always being there for them throughout your whole life, spending every moment at their side." This was the life of Peter S. Fischer, as his mother and her sister had already made precise plans for him in his childhood. In "Help! My Family Makes Me Sick," the author talks about his life within this dominant family structure and how he managed to break free from it. Fischer highlights how burdensome such situations can be and provides tips on how to break the cycle.

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Story: A new Life is Planned!

Story: My Childhood

Story: My Teenage years!

Story: My grandfather Died

Story: Desire to Have Children!

Story: Aisha!

Story: he First Suicide Attempt!

Story: Suicides, Stress, and Father-in-Law!

Story: A Terible Rehabilitation!

Story: It gets Even Worse!

Story: Holiday and Christmas Eve!

Story: Family Holiday!

Story: In-laws!

Story: The Last Attempt!

Story: Diverce And A girlfriend!

Story: My Acquaintances and Burusut!

Story: Psychotherapy

Story: Uncle's Death!

Story: My Stomach Hole!

Story: My Rehal!

Story: My girlfriend!

Story: My Ex-Wife!

Story: Mother Friend Dies!

Story: Family!

1. Story

A new Life is Planned!

A baby is born into the world not knowing what is to come in its little naked life. But the mother has already made plans for what the little thing is to do in its life, based on the mother's own expectations. The new life has not yet fully arrived in the world and the mother has already planned its entire life, bound to her mother and never straying far from her side. The child must always be there for her, spending every moment by her side. It's best for the child not to have any friends so that the mother never has to let go. The mother gave birth to the child with great pain, and therefore, the child must always be there for her!

That's how it was in my life. I only realized it much later when I understood why my mother and her sister were mean to me. It was only ten years ago that I realized my mother and my aunt had planned for me to be alone and always be there for them like a servant or subject, always at their beck and call.

If I had known this as a newborn and had the option, I would have never left the womb, or I would have crawled right back in. I think it's outrageous to make such plans for a child and bind them to your own expectations. A court should normally rule that it's a violation of freedom and should be punished. But what child would report their own mother or another relative?

However, the two women did not anticipate that I had a good father and an uncle. My father gave me the freedom I needed and allowed me to do whatever I enjoyed. He supported me as best he could, and my uncle helped me with some matters. But when my supporters were no longer alive, everything quickly came to light, and it became clear to me what the women wanted and demanded of me!

When I was about fifty-three years old and my father and uncle were no longer alive, my mother's and aunt's true colors were revealed. I'm convinced that the two men had their wives under control, and during their lifetime, the women could not fully execute their plans.

Thank God, my father had raised me to always do my own thing and go my own way. I would never have clung to my mother or aunt. But the two women still managed to annoy me to the point that I became seriously ill and even ended up in the intensive care unit! That was absolutely unnecessary. Especially my aunt, who wanted to have complete control, made the whole family crazy and put me under enormous pressure. She didn't care about me at all, until it was too late for me.

Her selfishness grew more and more, and only what she said mattered. Her orders had to be executed immediately, no matter the time of day, whether it was during work hours or in my free time. Any disagreement was not tolerated, and that was considered a crime.

According to her, I committed several crimes, and during that time, she probably disinherited me at least fifty times. But that didn't bother me at all! That's why I am now the black sheep of the family or the worst criminal, a lazy person, and much more. My wife and I have heard many such insults.

Therefore, in my opinion, my family is making me sick!

2. Story

My Childhood

I'll start with the story of my childhood. In my early years, I can't complain - I always had it good. I was never beaten and always received nice toys. I lacked nothing!

Since my aunt and uncle didn't have any children of their own, I always received the nicest toys, and usually exactly what I wished for. I was also allowed to stay with them overnight quite often.

Even when my aunt and uncle went on vacation to Italy, I got to go with them to the Adriatic Sea!

That was the best thing for me.

Of course, I also enjoyed going on vacation with my parents to the mountains. They couldn't afford to go to the sea. It was a completely different kind of vacation, but for me, it was always an adventure vacation!

My grandfather had a very kind German Shepherd who watched over me. He was my favorite companion and playmate. I grew up with a four-legged friend. My grandfather had a house with a huge garden around it where we could romp around carefree! I could spend a few weekends at my grandparents' house, and my four-legged friend slept in front of my bed and guarded me, so I always felt safe, and nothing could happen to me. It was a beautiful time!

There were many children living on the street where I grew up, so I could play with them every day. We played soccer, dodgeball, or something else - we always came up with something, and there was always something going on. My buddies were also allowed to visit me at home. I had it good, but that's not the point I'm trying to make.

Therefore, no one should accuse me of anything at the age of fifty and try to blackmail me with the fact that I had everything as a child! You got to go on vacation everywhere as a child.

I wonder why they do that. Of course, I went on vacation with my family as a child! What was I supposed to do? Should I have objected or stayed at home alone and thrown a party with my buddies every day in my empty house as a child? If I had known then that my happy childhood would be used against me someday, would I have refused all the gifts and not gone on vacation with my family?

Just because I had a good childhood doesn't mean I have to put up with everything from my mother and aunt in my old age. They wanted to show me that they had given me everything as a child, and therefore, I belonged to them now. I shouldn't have a wife, shouldn't have a dog, and shouldn't have an apartment with a garden, so I could have more time for them. My mother's and aunt's comments always made me terribly angry!

Just because my mother gave birth to me, allegedly with great pain and a lot of blood loss in her opinion! Should I only be there for her now?

I can't help that I was conceived and that my birth caused her great pain. I didn't do anything about it then, and I didn't conceive myself! If she didn't want that, she should have used better birth control!

She always holds it against me that I caused her pain, as if I were a villain because of it! Whenever she said these things, I always got the impression that she didn't want a child at all?

Later on, I often went to the ice rink with my father and watched a hockey game. I liked it so much that I really wanted to play myself, so my father took me to the club against my mother's will, and I started training with the little ones.

Later on, I played with the students and had to play every weekend as a result. My mother didn't like it when I had to play away games, so I was often out all day. I enjoyed being alone and hanging out with my teammates and friends.

Additionally, I frequently went to a public ice skating rink, where I always met nice girls who knew me from playing ice hockey. This made me proud, and I always had a pretty companion. My father liked it when I met a nice girlfriend, but I think my mother liked it less or didn't care at that time.

However, when I switched to the youth team, my mother didn't like it at all because I was out all weekend, which didn't suit her at all. The club was very good for me because it taught me to be very independent and assertive. There was a great camaraderie, and we stuck together like glue. It was a damn good time that I never wanted to miss.

But then, things weren't so great because, at fourteen, I started an apprenticeship as a machine fitter in a large machine factory and frequently injured myself, for example, I broke my arm, and later I had a torn ligament. As a result, I had to decide between ice hockey or my apprenticeship, and I naturally chose my apprenticeship, and my ice hockey career came to an end. But at least I managed to win a championship with my youth team.

My mother was, of course, pleased that I had stopped playing and thought that I stayed at home on weekends. But she was mistaken. I still had a few friends with whom I wanted to do things.

Even then, my aunt made me feel like I wasn't the perfect student. At that time, I only had good average grades and learned a good manual trade, but that wasn't enough for her. She threw it in my face when I was 50 that I hadn't received a proper education, that I hadn't learned a real profession, and that at her place, a person only starts with a high school diploma or a doctorate. Therefore, I am only her servant or slave!

I wasn't ashamed to be a fitter; I only had friends who learned manual trades, and they weren't ashamed to pursue this profession. I didn't excel in this apprenticeship either; I struggled through the three and a half years and only passed my journeyman's certificate with a "good." I didn't get a perfect score, which I should have, but no one asked me later how I finished my apprenticeship!

Actually, I should have asked my mother and aunt how well they did in their apprenticeships. They also don't have a doctorate!

Only their career advancement was important to my aunt at the time, and my uncle also had to continue his education. But the time they used for their professional advancement caught up with them because they also wanted a child, but only after they had achieved their professional goals.

But then, nothing worked out. My aunt had a fibroid in her uterus that had to be removed. It was over forever to have a baby.

After that, she believed she could act like my second mother and determine my life. But thank God, my father and uncle were still alive at that time, and I could still do what I wanted, even if the women didn't approve of what I did.

At that time, I didn't understand what was going on in their heads and what they still had planned for me. Perhaps it was also good that I didn't understand it yet, so I could still lead my life unencumbered!

3. Story

My Teenage years!

I'm now coming to a chapter and several incidents that immediately came to mind when I was accused of some things by my mother and aunt.

I completed my training as a machine fitter and continued to work at this large company. I didn't have a proper profession, but I earned my own money and didn't need to answer to anyone about what I did with it.

That's why I got my driver's license and bought my first car. I was proud of my first car, although it was small, it was mine - a 1100 Simca. All of my friends who were also tradesmen owned a small used car. We were a big group, we met every weekend and went out together and had fun.

Soon after, we decided to install CB radios in our cars, which was very modern and trendy at the time. As soon as we got into our cars, we could call each other, so we always knew where we were meeting and who of my friends was on the way. Some bought a used home station, which I also did later. So I could communicate with my buddies from home.

But I hadn't counted on my mother watching me when I went to my CB radio station and how I operated it.

I had picked up my girlfriend at the time and was on my way to my buddies, the CB radio was of course turned on, suddenly I heard my mother's voice on the call channel. She said, "Where are you, where are you sweetie, don't you want to come home right away!"

I was so ashamed, my girlfriend laughed at me terribly. My buddies had of course also listened and made fun of me. I would have loved to sink into the ground on the spot, I had never expected something like this, my mother made me ridiculous in front of my friends. After that, I had to endure a lot and was of course constantly teased about it.

I confronted my mother about it, but she ignored it and did it again and again. What happened afterwards was that my girlfriend left me, she didn't want a boyfriend who was a mommy's boy and made a fool of himself in front of his friends.

"What made me think at the age of 50 was that she already wanted to tie me up and bind me to herself. She wanted a little boy who never strayed from his mommy and obediently stayed with her.

She wanted to destroy my freedom with all her might, and what she destroyed in me at that moment didn't matter to her. At the time, I explained to her that this was the reason why my girlfriend left me. Her condescending response was, 'Women are all worthless. Be glad she's gone!' I think I was just very angry and didn't think much of it at the time, but today I think very differently about it.

She wanted to keep me like a prisoner. When I came home late, she waited in the kitchen and I had to hear her say, 'If you stay away so long, I can't sleep.' I couldn't do anything at home without her being present. She poked her nose into everything and spied on me everywhere. My father didn't care about any of it.

When I brought a girlfriend home and went to my room with her, I was never alone for long. Every few minutes, my mother came and asked us if we needed anything. The longer I was with the girlfriend, the worse it got. Was she a competitor for my mother? Was she afraid I would move out and marry her?

When I was alone at home, I could do anything I wanted: listen to my rock music, play guitar. But when I went out and met a girlfriend, my mother would immediately freak out. I thought it was all just normal madness and figured it would sort itself out eventually.

But what did my mother achieve by making me think, even at that time, that if I could afford it someday, I would look for a small, cheap apartment to rent so that I could finally have some peace and do what I wanted, especially being alone with my girlfriend without being screwed around by my mother?

Because my mother still went one step further.

When I brought my girlfriend home and she came in, she always said, 'Sweetie, do you need anything?' I couldn't stand that word 'sweetie' anymore because every girlfriend screwed me over and soon ran away! My mother always won in that respect! What did my mother achieve with that? I hated her for it!

Of course, my aunt also found out about these incidents every time that I was single again because of my mother and my girlfriend had left me. She also screwed me over and said to me every time, 'Women are all worthless. You don't need a girlfriend. Be glad you have a mother and an aunt. You don't need anything else.' That should have made me think. They were already planning to drive away every girlfriend of mine so that I would never have a steady or maybe even no girlfriend at all. Why? They had a steady partner, even a family? My plan for my own apartment grew more and more. I was furious."

Shortly after, on a weekend, I met a nice girlfriend at a disco and we hit it off. We spent a lot of time together and she wasn't scared off by my mother and her tricks. We went out almost every weekend and had a great time together.

What I didn't realize at the time was that my girlfriend had a plan - she wanted to get away from her parents' house as soon as possible. I didn't know why, but it had something to do with her father. Had her father done something to her?

He used to be a heavy alcoholic, and I had a feeling that he was hiding something. I should have paid closer attention in that case. But my girlfriend was fine and her parents were okay with me, so I didn't think much of it. I didn't have to marry her parents later, so what did it matter? But that turned out to be a big mistake - I later got into trouble with them!

A few years later, I told my girlfriend that I couldn't stand living in my parents' house anymore and that I needed my own place. She was thrilled with the idea, of course. We soon found a larger apartment - it wasn't huge, but it was our home!

My mother didn't like it at all, because how could I live with a young woman? Later, she pretended to be okay with it. She couldn't take my girlfriend away from me or chase her off anymore. But I would feel the consequences later. At that time, I had the impression that her parents were glad that their daughter was out of the house - I later had an evil suspicion!

We lived together for about a year, then I received a call-up notice from the Bundeswehr (German military). Before we moved into this apartment, I had called to ask if I still needed to worry about being drafted, and they said no - they had enough soldiers! I went to Roth and completed my basic training, but then I had very severe stomach bleeding and had to go to the Bundeswehr hospital in Ulm.

During this time, my father had his first heart attack and had to have surgery. Even before my father got sick, my mother called me every day, and I didn't have a moment's peace - she annoyed me again. Later, I was discharged from the hospital and the Bundeswehr, and of course, I was not sad that I could go home to my girlfriend and go back to work.

I heard that good locksmiths were being sought after at another large machinery factory and that I could earn much more money there. I applied immediately and, of course, got the job and started working there a few weeks later.

I earned very good money, and we could afford and save a lot. I saved what was still very modern at that time, in a building society contract! A large contract was fully saved up and already had the full score.

I could have bought a condominium and heard about a cheap two-room apartment - it was an emergency sale. We immediately went to see it, and it was a very nice, spacious apartment. We liked it right away, and I wanted to buy it right away, of course.

Right after that, I went to the bank and wanted to take care of everything. I didn't need a big financing through my building society contracts, I only had to borrow about ten thousand German marks. The apartment was an absolute bargain.

But what I didn't expect at the time was that my parents had to guarantee the ten thousand marks because I wasn't yet twenty-one years old.

Immediately after the bank consultation, I drove to my parents' house and what happened next, I'm still angry with my mother about it today! My father would have been willing to talk with me, but my mother dug in her heels and refused to cosign the loan. The bargain was off, I couldn't afford to buy a cheap two-room apartment anymore. No apartment could match that price anymore, they kept getting more expensive. I didn't get another chance during that time.

Today, I suspect that I didn't get the co-signature because I had a steady girlfriend and we lived together. My mother always put obstacles in my way, no matter what I did. I wanted to build my own future, I wanted to buy an apartment. Was she trying to say that I could always live in the family home, then I'd be back with her and my girlfriend could go away again? I think that's what she was thinking.

I was so angry that I cancelled a savings plan and bought a heavy motorcycle. Some colleagues also had motorcycles, and that's how we became friends and went on small trips together. It even led to a closer friendship with a couple who also had motorcycles, and we went on vacation with them several times.

Almost every weekend, we were on the road with our heavy machines, and the motorcycle tours kept getting bigger and longer. Until we even drove to Turkey and went on a road trip. During this time, we had hardly any contact with our parents. My girlfriend was doing very well during this time, we enjoyed our young lives and did what we wanted with our friends. In the eyes of our parents, we were leading a wild life.

But as it goes in life, eventually the good times are over and you have to reorient yourself. Our best friends had a child and had to sell their motorcycle. All of our motorcycle buddies sold their machines one by one, and my girlfriend and I rode alone through the prairie, which eventually wasn't fun anymore.

So it happened as it had to, we sold our motorcycle and bought a nice new car! If I were young again, I would do everything the same way and ride motorcycles and lead a very wild life!

I also had to reorient myself professionally, I had to switch to another division in my large company, and that's how I ended up on assignment. My mother immediately took the opportunity to annoy me again.

Now that we were back home more often, she wanted us to come over for coffee every weekend.

We visited her more often, yet she still complained that we never had time for her, that we never went to a café with her. What she never mentioned was that my father never liked going to a café?

But as mentioned before, my company had other plans for me. I had to go to London for six months on assignment. My girlfriend didn't like it either, but we made a compromise, we said that I would complete the entire assignment, earn good money, and then quit, and if necessary, switch to another company. We could really use the money because we still had big plans together! During this time, I never feared that I wouldn't find a good job.

When my mother heard that I would be working abroad for a long time, she was naturally beside herself, she lamented, "What will I do without you when you're abroad for so long?" I replied, "Dad is still here!"

Two weeks later, it was time for me to pack my bags and fly to London with a few coworkers. It was a tough time, working night shifts seven days a week and at least 12-14 hours a day, with barely any free time. During this time, I couldn't even go to the city to see the sights.

I still don't know how my mother managed to find out the phone number of my workplace. On the first day of work, the phone rang for my supervisor. When my supervisor came to me and said my mother was on the phone, I first got scared that something had happened to my father, but no, she just wanted to know if I had arrived safely and how I was doing!

She then called every day and thought I had endless time to talk to her during my work hours.

It didn't take long before my supervisor was very angry with me. We sat down briefly and I explained to him how she is, that she had already put me in very embarrassing situations before and had caused me to lose several girlfriends because of her behavior.

I explained to him that he should tell her that she can't call every day and especially not for so long.

He wanted to do it. Allegedly, she replied that she is the mother and she has the right to do so. The mood of my supervisor and myself hit rock bottom!

I cursed to myself, then just hang up the phone and say we don't have time right now. I smiled at him and said, "But not in front of my girlfriend!"

Once a week, we still allowed it, but my mother was beside herself and wanted to berate me for only having time to talk to her once a day. I scolded back, I could hang up right now, you're making me ridiculous in front of my colleagues and yourself too! I kept wondering, does she not realize what she was doing to me?

Even before I flew back home, I learned that I wouldn't be home for long and would have to fly back to England, at least for a quarter of a year. Of course, my girlfriend was not very happy about it, but we agreed that we needed the money and we could save a lot for our plans.

My girlfriend also didn't like how my mother talked to me, especially calling me "my darling" in front of other people. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had begged her a hundred times that I don't want to be addressed that way and especially not in front of other people. I think she did it even more after that, and she felt very comfortable doing it!

I could only be with my girlfriend for less than a week before I had to pack my bags again and fly to England, this time to Liverpool. At least we were on the same team again, but I didn't like this city at all. Maybe it was because it was autumn and the nights were very long, making the city even darker than it actually was.

On the same evening we arrived, we got to work.

Before we could even start properly, the phone rang, and of course it was my mother. I signaled to my supervisor to hang up and told him that I didn't want to talk on the phone. He explained that he had forbidden the personnel department from giving my mother the phone number, so how did she manage to get it?

I had to work night shifts for more than twelve hours, seven days a week, and I never got to see anything of the city. I couldn't even take a few hours to go sightseeing. I was only able to talk to my girlfriend for a few minutes on the phone every day. I was very relieved when this long work assignment was over and I was able to return home.

Of course, I was very happy to be able to hold my girlfriend in my arms again, and we knew that I would never have to fly to England and work again. My mother was also happy that I was back home and wanted to invite my girlfriend and me over for coffee every weekend. But I didn't want that. We wanted to do things on our own and not spend every Sunday at my parents' house.

We went on some trips as a result. Of course, she didn't like it because she believed that one should visit their mother every week, and in her family, it was customary to do so! But I had a different opinion. My parents didn't visit her father every weekend either, but for my mother, her own laws applied, which she adhered to as she saw fit.

When I returned to work and had not even worked for two weeks, my supervisor called me and explained that he had assigned me to fly to London again. I told him that I had to discuss it with my girlfriend first, and I never wanted to work in England again. However, my supervisor explained that he did not have a job site in another country for me, and I couldn't choose, I had to leave it up to him. And if I no longer wanted to work on long-term assignments, then I should find another job, but he could understand that not everyone wanted to be separated from their family for so long.

I told my girlfriend, and we immediately agreed that we were done with such long-term assignments. The next day, I told my boss that I would never accept such a long-term assignment again. I immediately realized that if I turned down the job, I would have to find another one. He had already hinted at it.

A few days later, I received my termination notice. Before the notice period expired, I had found a new job, also in a larger machine factory, and I didn't have to travel for long-term assignments or work night shifts. I was glad that I had made that decision back then.

4. Story

My grandfather Died!

Through my assembly work and my saved building society contracts, we had saved up a fair amount of money. We were looking for a home of our own, a three-room apartment with perhaps a small garden. We had reached the age where we were thinking about having a child.

However, we couldn't find an apartment that fit our financial plan. We visited one apartment after another, and we tried to get financing from various banks and savings banks, but it never worked out the way we wanted.

Soon after, we planned our wedding. We wanted to be together forever and then have a child, that's what we thought. Our parents agreed, except my father said to me at the time, 'Will you be happy with this woman for the rest of your life?' I wondered what he meant. I didn't know he knew more about my in-laws. Why didn't he tell me what he knew? Maybe I would have planned differently, or maybe I would have made different decisions later on.

Even today, I cannot understand his behavior of withholding his knowledge from me. Why? I hold my father in high regard, still to this day. He made a lot possible for me in his life and taught me a lot. Above all, he often went against my mother's decisions, such as when it came to my ice hockey playing. He taught me to always do what he felt was right and stood up for me, even when my mother was against it. That was also very important for my later life! My father did not want to raise a mother's boy!