Max Boyce: Hymns & Arias E-Book

Maxwell Boyce

• Herausgeber: Parthian Books
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 244

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

When 'Hymns and Arias' rang out at Cardiff Arms Park some fifty years ago, those great Welsh anthems 'Calon Lân' and 'Cwm Rhondda' had found a companion and the valleys of south Wales had produced a new folk hero. From his early days touring the folk clubs and small concert halls of his native south Wales to sell-out shows at some of the world's most iconic venues, including the Albert Hall, the London Palladium and the opera houses of Sydney and Durban, Max has become an original and treasured performer whose songs and stories have become part of folk culture. His albums, including the No. 1 album We All Had Doctors' Papers and the iconic Live at Treorchy, have sold in their millions and earned him several gold discs. His greatest influence has always been the Valleys of Wales, with their inherent warmth and humour, their sadness and passion, and he has the remarkable ability to heighten, to an art form, the 'hwyl' that attends his nation's national game: rugby union. Compiling – in some instances for the first time in print – the very best songs, poems and stories from across his celebrated career, Max Boyce: Hymns & Arias is the definitive selected work of a major cultural figure who, through his inimitable humour, uniquely Welsh pathos and masterful wordcraft, has defined a nation and its people for more than half a century.

Leseprobe

MAX BOYCE

, singer-songwriter, poet and entertainer, was born in 1943 in the village of Glynneath, south Wales, where he still

lives with his wife, Jean. They have two daughters, Cathy and Rhiannon, and two granddaughters, Rhosyn Alaw and Evelyn Grace.

Despite the fact that his father was killed in a mining explosion a month before Max was born, Max went on to work

underground in the local colliery at the age of sixteen – a profession he remained in for over a decade.

After releasing two records on a small Welsh label, in 1973 he recorded his iconic breakthrough album,

Live at Treorchy

, which

went on to sell over half a million copies. Several gold and silver records followed, including

We All Had Doctors’ Papers

, which went

to number one in the UK Albums Chart and is still the only comedy album to attain this coveted position. He has since toured the

world, playing sell-out concerts in some of the world’s great venues, including the London Palladium, Sydney Opera House and the

Royal Albert Hall.

His BBC television series attracted over twenty million viewers and merely confirmed Max’s popularity among young and old

alike. His exploits following the Dallas Cowboys, the American rodeo circuit and the 1985 World Elephant Polo Championship

in Nepal were chronicled in the bestselling book

In the Mad Pursuit of Applause

.

In 1999, he was awarded an MBE, which he received from Prince Charles at Cardiff Castle, and in 2013 he received the

Freedom of the Borough of Neath and Port Talbot, following in the footsteps of Sir Richard Burton and Sir Anthony Hopkins. In

2022, there are plans to unveil a bronze life-size statue of Max in his hometown – a fitting and deserved tribute to a modern-day

folk hero whose poems, songs and stories have become part of Welsh legend.

Where is the boy that I used to know,

Where did he run to, where did he go?

Parthian Books, Cardigan SA43 1ED

www.parthianbooks.com

Contents © Max Boyce 2021

All Rights Reserved

ISBN 978-1-913640-95-8

Edited by Robert Harries

Cover and interior design by Syncopated Pandemonium

Cover photographs by Luke Hodgkins

Photograph and illustration credits:

Rhys Padarn Jones/Orielodl (www.orielodl.com): endpapers; Max Boyce: ii, 17; Handshake Ltd: vii, 1, 10, 21, 39, 89–90,

100, 104, 106, 113, 117, 125, 130–172, 180; Matthew Horwood: viii; Jeremy Wood: xii; Gren: 2–8, 12–14, 18–19, 22–23,

26–27, 34, 42–44, 70, 76–77, 82–83, 98–99, 101–103, 111, 114, 174; Jimmy Giddings: 9, 123; PA Images/Alamy Stock

Photo: 24–25, 47; INchendio on iStock by Getty: 30; Darryl (Gren) Jones: 30–31; David Davies/PA Wire: 37; Action Images/

Paul Harding Livepic: 41; Mirrorpix: 46; Jeff Morgan 07/Alamy Stock Photo: 51; Anne Cakebread: 52–53, 64; Mirrorpix/

Reach Licensing: 55; Fran Evans (www.franevans.com): 56, 63, 69, 72–73; Trinity Mirror/Mirrorpix/Alamy Stock Photo: 61;

Mike Straw on Unsplash: 66; Russell Stanley: 74; graham bell/Alamy Stock Photo: 75; Mael BALLAND on Unsplash: 77; Leila

Cutler/Alamy Stock Photo: 78; REUTERS/Alamy Stock Photo: 85; Immo Wegmann on Unsplash: 87; ID 5738817 © Scol22 |

Dreamstime.com: 93; EMI: 96–97; Jonny Gios on Unsplash: 105; Character © 1982 Petalcraft Demonstrations Ltd: 108; tirc83

on iStock by Getty: 116; Jeff Morgan 04/Alamy Stock Photo: 178–79; Alison Carman: 179.

All attempts have been made to track down copyright holders where possible; uncredited material is reproduced in this book

under the terms of fair use, but both publisher and author endeavour to correct and offer full credit in future editions.

Printed and bound by Gomer Press, Cardigan

Published with the financial support of the Welsh Books Council.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A cataloguing record for this book is available from the British Library.

Foreword

ix

PART ONE:

THE POEMS & SONGS

Hymns and Arias

3

I Gave My Love a Debenture

5

I Am an Entertainer

6

The North Enclosure Song

7

The Divine Intervention

8

Dai Morris

9

E.N.G.L.A.N.D

10

The Incredible Plan

11

When a Tear Fell from Graham Henry’s Eye

15

The Outside-Half Factory

16

9–3

18

A Prop Named Sian

20

I Wandered Lonely

22

The Day Gareth Was Dropped

23

I Wear the Cloth of Parting Ways

(Eulogy to Cliff Morgan)

24

The Devil’s Marking Me

26

The Halfpenny Piece

28

The Glory That Was Rome

or: The Green, Green Grass of Rome

29

The Pontypool Front Row

32

I Said He’ll Never Do It

33

The Scottish Trip

35

With a Whistle in His Hand (Triple Crown at Cardiff)

36

He Picked a Fine Time to Penalise Wheel

38

The Unforgiving Moment

40

With a Wee Dram and a Song

42

If

45

All Beneath a Piece of Sky

46

Ten Thousand Instant Christians

48

Did You Understand?

49

A Winter Too Late (1984–85 Miners’ Strike Song)

50

Aberfan

53

Coal Picking

54

Close the Coalhouse Door

57

Duw! It’s Hard

58

Miners’ Fortnight (Ode to Barry Island)

60

The Sioni Winwns Man (The Johnny Onions Man)

61

When Just the Tide Went Out

62

Ar Lan y Môr (By the Sea Shore)

64

Bugeilio’r Gwenith Gwyn (Watching the White Wheat)

65

Swansea Town

66

Hiraeth

67

Rhondda Grey

68

Slow-Men at Work

71

Is God in His Paint Shop

72

Mêl-y-Bont

74

Sirhowy Hill

75

CONTENTS

The Seagulls of Llandudno

76

The Story of Christmas

78

I Guess It’s Been One of Them Days

(The Saddest

Ever

Country Song)

79

Johnny Mildew and the Scum

80

The Ballad of Morgan the Moon

83

The Boy Who Climbed a Mountain

84

The Richest Dust

86

Time

87

Yng Ngofal Dy Freichiau Di

(In the Shelter of Your Arms)

88

PART TWO:

THE STORIES

Berwyn’s Skull

91

Berwyn and the Aeroplane Ride

92

Gravestone FOR SALE

93

Berwyn’s Photo

94

Hop On/Hop Off

95

Childhood Memories

96

Ashes

98

Did He Suffer?

100

The One O’Clock Gun

101

The Rev. Goronwy Roberts

102

Australia ’78

103

Where Are You From?

104

‘In these stones . . .’

105

What’s That He’s Carrying?

106

Eli Jenkins

107

Leekes Cross Hands

108

What Goes Around Comes Around

109

L’Escargot

110

Bastille Louis XV

111

A True Story

112

In the Bleak Midwinter

114

The Night of the Long Shovel

115

Is That the Sun or the Moon?

116

How Do I Get to Carmarthen?

117

Evelyn’s Cake

118

Seve’s Wedge

119

The Max Boyce Classic

122

Becky

124

Gog Air

126

The Origins of Keeping Up with the Joneses

127

To God

128

A Travesty of Justice

129

From

In the Mad Pursuit of Applause

131

An Afterthought

177

Acknowledgements

179

FOREWORD

IX

FOREWORD

This collection of my poems, songs and stories is something I have promised to write for a very long time, but I never found the

time or the dedication to apply myself to the task of ‘carving words like jewels’.

There was also the haunting realisation that my words would have a sort of finality, no longer able to leave their final resting

place, disturbed only by the turning page. A sanctuary where they would listen quietly to their own silence and where their only

visitors were strangers . . .

My thanks then must go to Richard Davies and Parthian Books for believing in my work, and to Robert Harries for his endless

patience in painstakingly transcribing my handwritten manuscripts, which at times looked as if a spider had fallen into a bottle of

ink, climbed back out and crawled drunkenly across the pages.

This being so, we got it completed, and the returned ‘copy’ looked like someone else’s work that was infinitely better than

my own.

I’ve called the collection

Hymns & Arias

because it’s the title of a song I wrote hurriedly some fifty years ago, little thinking it

would stand the test of time and be sung on the terraces of Cardiff Arms Park, the Millennium (now Principality) and Liberty

(now Swansea.com) stadiums, where the faithful carry their songs like a soldier carries his rifle to war . . .

In more recent times I have used the chorus and tune of ‘Hymns and Arias’ to tell the story of some memorable moments that

I was privileged to be in attendance for, from Wales versus England at Wembley Stadium in 1999, ‘When a Tear Fell from Graham

Henry’s Eye’,

And so farewell to Wembley and to this foreign clime

Next year we’re back in Cardiff, if they finish it on time

They say it’s got a sliding roof that they can move away

They’ll slide it back when Wales attack so God can watch us play

to the opening concert of the Welsh Assembly in Cardiff Bay,

Here’s to our assembly that they’ve built along this shore

They built it here in Cardiff . . . though Cardiff voted NO!

X

MAX BOYCE: HYMNS & ARIAS

to the Wales rugby team’s arduous training camp regime before the World Cup in South Africa,

Why take the team to Doha I just can’t understand

The camels there have flip-flops on to walk upon the sand

And those ‘cryogenic’ chambers, their worth is still in doubt

They had to use the warm-up games to thaw some players out . . . !

and then Swansea City AFC’s first home game in the Premier League, against Wigan,

Here’s to all you Wigan fans, it does seem strange to me

That you used to have a pier but you haven’t got a sea . . .

These little vignettes would never have a claim to permanence, for their time with us was fleeting, but for a short while they

had their time in the sun and held a truth that was honest and authentic.

Some of the songs in this book took a lot longer to write. Songs such as ‘Rhondda Grey’, ‘Duw! It’s Hard’, ‘The Incredible

Plan’ and ‘When Just the Tide Went Out’.

They lay unfinished in cupboards and drawers, on the back of bits of paper, fearing the dark, worrying that no one would come

and find them. Till one day they were brought out blinking into the daylight, inspired by no more than a passing thought or word

or by some unknown alchemy.

I have likened my ‘Craft and Sullen Art’ to the skill of a blacksmith who puts his work into the heat of the furnace, waits till

it’s white hot and then bends it to his will. When it has cooled, he repeats the process.

In much the same way, I put my songs and stories into the furnace of performance, altering a line here and changing a word

there until I am satisfied they are the best they can be and best suited to the gifts I may or may not have.

These, then, are my poems, songs and stories formed in the embers of that furnace.

I know many people will recognise themselves in the pages of this book, for they have travelled the same journey, walked the

same paths. They have shared the same hopes and dreams, the joys and despair, and prayed to the same gods.

Many of these moments are revisited in the ‘Hymns and Arias’ of this book.

Those moments turn the well-thumbed pages of a book I have yet to take back . . .

M. B.

August 2021

To Jean, Cathy, Rhosyn, Rhiannon and Evelyn

Fy Ffortiwn (My fortune)

PART ONE

THE

POEMS

& SONGS

4

MAX BOYCE: HYMNS & ARIAS

So it’s down to Soho for the night, to the girls with the shiny

beads;

That shy away in corners just to tempt a Welshman’s needs.

One said to Will from a doorway dark, damn, she didn’t have

much on.

But Will knew what she wanted, aye . . . his photo of Barry John!

’Cos she was singing hymns and arias,

‘Land of my Fathers’, ‘Ar hyd y nos’.

THE POEMS & SONGS

5

I met her in the Con. Club in Pontypool;

The public bar was crowded so I offered her my stool.

I said, ‘Fair lass, pray tarry. Come stay awhile with me.

And I’ll give you my debenture – Block A, Row 3.’

Her eyes were pale as lyder; her hair was long and black.

The only thing that spoiled her was she wore a plastic mac.

I said, ‘Fair lass, pray tarry. Come sit upon my knee.’

She thought awhile and then she smiled. I thought,

‘Ho, ho, he, he, hee hee hee!’

She said she came from Crumlin and that her name was Ann.

She told me, ‘You can walk me home.’ I said, ‘I’ve got a van!’

We turned into a lay-by, where she told me she loved me.

So I gave her my debenture – Block A, Row 3.

That night I met her mother. (She was waiting for us there.)

Stockings round her ankles and curlers in her hair.

She was waiting on the doorstep, and she waved her fist at me.

So I showed her my debenture – Block A, Row 3.

That night when I was sleeping my love proved false to me;

And she left me for another who’s known as J.B.G.

I know I’ll not forget her for she was the rue of me;

And she’s got my debenture – Block A, Row 3.

So take my warning all you lads, for girls the likes of she.

They only want you for one thing – your debenture in Row 3!

So should you go to Crumlin, pray tread the night with care:

Take heed I pray and stay away from that girl with the long

black hair.

I GAVE MY LOVE A

DEBENTURE

Some years ago a debenture scheme was introduced by the Welsh Rugby Union. It

took the form of tickets put on sale to help raise money for ground improvements at

Cardiff Arms Park.

These tickets, or debentures as they are known, guarantee the owner the same

seat in the stand for all internationals at Cardiff. They were initially sold at the

reasonable price of £50 but have since escalated terrifically in value, £8,500 having

been offered recently for four.

Their present worth, however, is perhaps best illustrated by the song,‘I Gave My Love a Debenture’.

6

MAX BOYCE: HYMNS & ARIAS

‘I Am an Entertainer’ was written following the Welsh defeat at Twickenham in 1974. The referee that day; a Mr John West, an Irishman,

disallowed a perfectly good try (in my opinion) by J. J. Williams and Wales were defeated. I had often wondered since writing the poem what Mr

West had thought of it, so when I was introduced to him at a dinner I asked him.‘You’ve given me a sort of immortality,’ he said,‘but I think it’s

of a rather dubious kind.’ He was a lovely man and he had taken the song in the spirit in which it was meant.

Two years later I was having a quiet drink with some friends in the bar of Glynneath Rugby Club on the eve of the Wales–Ireland international

at Cardiff. Suddenly the door burst open and four Irish referees burst in with clenched fists shouting,‘Where is he?Where is he?’ The bar fell quiet,

even some of my best friends moved away from me and pretended they were at another table.

I slowly got up in that hushed room and said quietly,‘Here I am.’

The four wild Irishmen looked across and said,‘Ah, there you are, what are you having to drink?’ They had come over for the match and had come

down to see Glynneath to invite me to speak at some Referee’s Society dinner in Ireland. Unfortunately, I was unable to go, but I shall never forget

that night in the rugby club singing a mixture of Irish and Welsh songs in the bar until the early hours and ending up with ‘I Am an Entertainer’.

I am an entertainer and I sing for charity;

For Oxfam and for Shelter, for those worse off than me.

Bangladesh, Barnardo’s Homes. And though I don’t get paid,

It does one good to do some work for things like Christian Aid.

But of all the concerts that I’ve done for the homeless overseas,

The one I did that pleased me most was not for refugees.

’Twas for a home in Ireland that stands amongst the trees:

The sunshine home in Dublin for blind Irish referees!

I AM AN ENTERTAINER

THE NORTH ENCLOSURE SONG

I have always thought it a shame that the North Enclosure was done away with at Cardiff Arms Park.Traditionally it was where the singing always

started in international matches. It was there that the greatest

hwyl

*

and atmosphere were always to be found. However, for financial reasons

and because of the need for greater crowd control, plastic bucket seating has been installed where for years we had stood in all weathers lashed by

wind and rain:

*

hwyl

There were times I couldn’t see

But it was the only place to be ...

Oh! I’ll sing a fond farewell, and a story I will tell

Of when with my little North Enclosure I was there

And I think it’s such a shame, it’ll never be the same

As when with my little North Enclosure – I was there.

CHORUS

I was there

I was there

With my little North Enclosure I was there

There are stories I can tell, of when I didn’t feel too well

But with my little North Enclosure I was there

When there was nowhere I could go and I couldn’t wait no more

But with my little North Enclosure I was there.

Oh, I’ve stood out in the rain and I’d do it all again

With my little North Enclosure I was there

It was there I learnt to sing – ’cos I couldn’t see a thing

But with my little North Enclosure I was there.

When the ones that had it planned were all sitting in the stand

With my little North Enclosure I was there

So I think it’s such a shame – it’ll never be the same

As when with my little North Enclosure I was there.

8

MAX BOYCE: HYMNS & ARIAS

I heard it first on telly I thought that sounded odd

Bevan and Dai Richards in and Phil not in the squad

So I phoned the Rediffusion man when his number I had found

I said, ‘The picture’s all right, but there’s something wrong

with the sound.’

This chap came round in overalls and told me not to fret

He’d change the speaker and the valve and overhaul the set

He’d finished it by Sunday and left me with a laugh

I switched it on, and the fault had gone

It said, ‘Bennett, outside-half.’

Whilst down there in Llanelli the old folk knowing nod

And say recalling Bennett was true an act of God

And a preacher down in Felinfoel spoke in thanks and praise

‘The Lord,’ he said, ‘doth often work in strange and wondrous

ways.’

And he was there at ‘Twickers’ round collared in the throng

And he knew full well that Wales would win and he raised his

voice in song

But I spared a thought for England and for their hopes and pride

It wasn’t really fair to them with God on our side.

But this ‘frightfully pucker’ English chap thought otherwise –

And he knelt in prayer as well

And asked, ‘Oh Lord, let us see a try, we’re losing I can tell,

Oh Lord, let us see a try, something absolutely twiffic.’

And then J.P.R. scored again and God said, ‘You should have

been specific.’

THE DIVINE

INTERVENTION

This poem was written some time after it was announced that Phil Bennett had been omitted from the

Welsh Squad for the game against England at Twickenham in 1976. The decision to omit Bennett caused

a great deal of controversy in Wales. People in his home town of Llanelli were throwing themselves in

the canals. I wasn’t particularly concerned until I realised some of them had tickets on them. So there

I was, helping the Red Cross to drag them out – pinching their tickets – and throwing them back in.

Then came the ‘Divine Intervention’ when both the outside halves named before Phil were injured and,

to the great embarrassment of the Welsh selectors, Phil Bennett was asked to play against England after all.

THE POEMS & SONGS

9

Now Dai works down at Tower

In a pit called number four,

Some say he was quarried

From a rock a mile below,

He goes to work each morning

Much the same as you or I,

The foreman calls him Mister

But the children call him Dai

Some say that Dai was much too small

* That’s how it goes.

This man who works with iron

And that’s the reason why they say

He was never made a Lion

And though they never picked him

‘

Na fe bois, Felne mae

’*

There’s none that’s played

Though light he weighed

More genuine than Dai.

DAI MORRIS

When David Morris played for the combined Neath and Aberavon

side that lost 43–4 to New Zealand in 1973 I wrote:

They didn’t leave the score up long

We chipped in for a wreath

Neath blamed Aberavon

And Aberavon, Neath

Some there blamed the linesman

Some blamed you and I

We all blamed the committee

But no one there blamed Dai.

I have always thought it was a great shame that he was never

selected for the British Lions. Although he was forced to retire from

the international scene with a knee injury it is typical of David Morris that he is as enthusiastic as ever; he is still enjoying his rugby with the

village side Rhigos. Perhaps there have been more famous players, but none that are more respected than this gentle man of rugby who’s known to

all as ‘Dai’: a shy, unassuming person who gave his everything at all times, asking for nothing in return. He is one of the most genuine people I

have ever met, which is why I admire him more than any other player I know.

10

MAX BOYCE: HYMNS & ARIAS

E.N.G.L.A.N.D

‘E.N.G.L.A.N.D’ is a parody on the song ‘D.I.V.O.R.C.E’, in which a divorcing couple spell out the words they don’t want their child to hear or understand.

Our little boy was five years old and quite a little man

And we spelled out all the hurting words so he couldn’t understand

Like D.I.V.O.R.C.E and R.E.V.E.N.U.E (H.M)

But the word we’re hiding from him now

Tears the heart right out of me

CHORUS

E.N.G.L.A.N.D, we lost to them today

Me and little J. P. R., we cried when we walked away

When we left H.Q, well I think he knew that I had P.M.T*

’Cos it breaks my heart to lose to E.N.G.L.A.N.D

Our little boy is seven by now and I’m an O.A.P

And he thinks that his father’s an O.L.D.F.A.R.T

Yes, we spell out all the hurting words and turn our heads to speak

But I can’t spell away the hurt and the tears run down my cheek

E.N.G.L.A.N.D, we lost to them today

Me and little J. P. R., we cried when we walked away

When we left H.Q, well I think he knew that I had P.M.T

’Cos it breaks my heart to lose to E.N.G.L.A.N.D

We couldn’t even blame the R.E.F.E.R.E.E

* Post-match trauma.

THE POEMS & SONGS

11

There’s a story that’s told in the Valleys

And I’ll tell it as best as I can

The story of one Will ‘McGongale’ Morgan

And of his ‘Incredible Plan’.

It all started off on a cold winter’s night

A night that was strangely so still

When the Rugby Club’s General Committee

Banned ‘Sine Die’ their ticket Sec, my Uncle Will.

(Mind you, he was in the wrong, we knew all along)

There was no point in petitions or pickets

He was caught with this woman at the back of the stand

With the Club’s allocation of tickets.

And what made it worse, she wasn’t the first

He’d been caught with Ben Walters’ wife Ethel

We all knew her with her fox and her fur

She used to wear on Sundays to Bethel.

Anyway,Will was banned ‘Sine Die’ – he broke down and cried.

I’ve never seen a man in such sorrow

’Cos like Judas of old he’d sold more than gold

With the Scotland and Wales game tomorrow.

Then he had this idea: he’d go in disguise.

He had it all drawn up and planned.

And he went to the game (to his family’s shame)

As one of the St Albans Band.

Back in the village they all got to know

‘Make one for me’ they’d all say

There was such a demand, it got a bit out of hand

He was making about fifty a day.

So he put an ad, in the

Guardian

To employ a few men starting Monday

And he did, he started some men – I think about ten,

On three shifts, and some working Sunday.

They made about three or four hundred

When the night shift were sent two till ten.

The jigs were all changed, the tools rearranged,

And they started on ambulance men!

Then they ran out of buttons and bandage –

And policemen were next on the plans.

Whilst ‘B’ Shift made refs with dark glasses,

Alsatians, white sticks and tin cans!

Then production was brought to a standstill

And the Union could quite understand

THE INCREDIBLE PLAN

Anyone who has tried to get a ticket for a rugby international at Cardiff knows how difficult it is. My Uncle Will, however, got into the ground

without a ticket, dressed as one of the St Albans Band (the band that play at Cardiff Arms Park prior to the internationals).

The trouble was all Will’s friends and family got to hear of it (’cos he told Florrie Thomas not to tell anybody), and when the next international

was due to be played at Cardiff they all wanted to go as well.

‘The Incredible Plan’ is the story of what happened.