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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2013
A new and simple system to understanding and controlling the behavior of others Noted body language, behavior and communication expert Mark Bowden offers a totally practical, easy-to-read guide to understanding the impulsive actions of others, along with the best tools to manage them. A number one anxiety in business is dealing with problem people. In Tame the Primitive Brain, Mark Bowden's fresh approach is the fastest and most effective way to understand why someone acts towards you the way they do; why you react to their behavior in the way you do; and most importantly, what exactly to do about it to achieve the right outcomes. * Brings new and fresh perspectives to business readers for dealing with tricky behaviors * Explains how to effectively manage those around you at any level in an organization * Shares the latest evolutionary behavioral theory, neuroscientific evidence, and the tried and tested tools and tricks based on these premises This simple model of how we humans can and do relate to each other brings increased depth of understanding and expands your toolset to better manage yourself and others to achieve anything.
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Contents
Acknowledgments
Preface
Introduction
Week One You
Day One: Shared Instincts
Impulse Buying
Primary Schooling
Suppressing Thoughts
Ingrained Habits
The Unconscious Process
Out of Control
Day One Action
Day Two: Snap Judgments
Get Away from Her, You B#%$*!
We’re Still Collating
I Think It’s Safe to Assume It Isn’t a Zombie
This or That?
We’re All Gonna Die, Man!
Day Two Action
Day Three: Default to the Negative
Rumsfeld
I’ll Wake the President
Crisis of Confidence
I Do Not Like Broccoli
Expect the Worst
Act Today to Preserve Today
Day Three Action
Day Four: Best-Fit Thinking
Pacino or De Niro?
If the Cap Fits . . . It Must at Least Be on a Head?
Pattern Recognition
Day Four Action
Day Five: Friend, Enemy, Sexual Partner, or Indifferent
Categorically Thinking
So What?
Fitting In
You’re Fit for Work
Again, So What?
Trust in Behavior
Day Five Action
Day Six: Moods and Emotions
Are You Feeling Blue?
In the Mood for Anger?
What Started This?
Change = Threat
Pull the Trigger
Find What You’re Looking For
Day Six Action
Day Seven: The Spice of Life
Chemical Dependence
Diminished Responsibility
Hell’s Seesaw
Day Seven Action
Week Two Relationships
Day Eight: Relationships Are Dyadic
Madonna’s First Imprint
Ducks in a Row
The Born Identity
I Blame The Parents
Day Eight Action
Day Nine: Opposites Attract
You Complete Me
Attractive
Where’s the Romance Gone?
Trophies and Gold Diggers
See That Really Annoying Person? It’s You!
Old-Brain Logic
Day Nine Action
Day Ten: BFFs
Me, Again
Marching to the Same Drummer
Trust It
Chemical Wedding
Eyes
Definition of a Friend
Friends with Benefits
Day Ten Action
Day Eleven: Enemies
Who Goes There?
A Brief History of Hatred
Kill or Be Killed
Why Can’t They Be Like Us?
Extremists
Extremities
People Hate Being Powerless
Day Eleven Action
Day Twelve: Indifference
Who?
Blending into the Background
Day Twelve Action
Day Thirteen: Moods Are Contagious
Outbreak
Sharing the Feeling
Emotional Time and Space
Emotion, Mirrors, and Empathy
Sociopathic?
Day Thirteen Action
Day Fourteen: The Four Stages of Relationship
Reflection
Infatuation
Reality
Grief
Partnership
You Fall for Them Again
Day Fourteen Action
Week Three Tribe
Day Fifteen: We Are Tribal
Club
First Tribe
Community Spirit
Group-Work
Reptilian Brain Tribes
Tribal by Nature
Day Fifteen Action
Day Sixteen: Tribal Nurture
Fit
Propaganda
Day Sixteen Action
Day Seventeen: Hierarchy
Symbols
Alpha—Beta—Omega
Kicking Post
Top Down
Treading on Toes
Ordo Ab Chao
Day Seventeen Action
Day Eighteen: Tension
Solo or Group
Parties
Isolation
Responsibility versus the Safety Net
My Brother’s Keeper
Reasonable
Day Eighteen Action
Day Nineteen: Values
Affiliations to Appearance
Valuing the Disagreement
Pedants
Day Nineteen Action
Day Twenty: Diversity
So Fast You Don’t Know What Hit You
Species Depend on Each Other
Environmental Conditions for a Great Team
Leading Teams Well
Day Twenty Action
Day Twenty-One: Changing Tribes Is Expensive
The One Constant
Leaving the Tribe
Day Twenty-One Action
Week Four New You
Day Twenty-Two: Suspend Judgment
The Doctor Is In
Act Up
Day Twenty-Two Action
Day Twenty-Three: Be Curious
Ask Questions
Standing Their Ground
Day Twenty-Three Action
Day Twenty-Four: Open Your Heart
Old Hats for Old Heads
Keep Your Own Heart
Day Twenty-Four Action
Day Twenty-Five: Give
Better to Give . . .
. . . Than to Receive
Take My Advice; I’m Not Using It!
Instinctive about Choices
Day Twenty-Five Action
Day Twenty-Six: Manage Your Disappointment
Goals
Expect Disappointment
Day Twenty-Six Action
Day Twenty-Seven: Values Trump Rules
Rules and Artificial Intelligence
Organizational Intelligence
Take a Break
Day Twenty-Seven Action
Day Twenty-Eight: Expand Your Tribe
Social Advantage
Closer Than “on Average”
The World Is Your Oyster
Small Is Beautiful
Day Twenty-Eight Action
Conclusion
Further Reading and Resources
About the Author
Index
Praise for Tame the Primitive Brain
“If you keep on doing what you do you’ll keep on getting what you’ve got—that’s never been a problem for me as a confirmed masochist—but for the rest of you, this book offers a clear, concise and above all entertaining way to take control.”
—Tim Fountain, notoriously depraved egomaniac and author of Rude Britannia
“If you think you’re highly evolved and easily able to manage your reactions and emotions, think again. Mark Bowden combines thoroughly researched and accessibly presented science with real-world examples from a wide range of business situations to create a highly readable and practical system for understanding and working with your lizard brain to radically improve your effectiveness at work. Tame the Primitive Brain is now on the “must-read” list for all of my executive clients.”
—Karen Wright, leader in the field of corporate coaching and author of The Complete Executive: The 10-Step System for Great Leadership Performance
“Tame the Primitive Brain is a fascinating book because it not only provides valuable insight into how your brain works in different situations, but also gives practical advice on how to communicate with and manage your reactions to others. If you want to be successful in your business and personal relationships, buy this book now!”
—Victoria Stilwell, canine behavioral expert and author of It’s Me or the Dog
“Tame the Primitive Brain is enormously practical, humorous, relevant, and accessible. You have laid out the red carpet for anyone who has an interest in growing past the implications and consequences of automatic behavior in the workplace, both their own and from those around them.”
—James DeStephanis, Instructor, Self-Development Lab, Joseph L. Rotman School of Management
Cover image: Getty Images: © MedicalRF.com; iStockPhoto: © OKS_Mit
Cover design: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Copyright © Mark Bowden 2013. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Bowden, Mark, 1970-
Tame the primitive brain : 28 ways in 28 days to manage the most impulsive behaviors at work/Mark Bowden.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-118-43698-1 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-56690-9 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-56673-2 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-56650-3 (ebk)
1. Social institutions. 2. Social systems. 3. Human behavior. I. Title.
HM826.B69 2013
306—dc23
2012041637
To Tracey:
For wrangling my impulsive behavior at work, along with that of our tribe’s at home.
I love you
Acknowledgments
A huge thanks, first, to all my family, friends, and colleagues who have helped in their various ways to corral this book into something unique and to be proud of—most especially: Bruce Van Ryn–Bocking for your expertise, insight, and supportive input; Tracey Thomson, for your brilliant ideas and guidance throughout every stage of this process; and Michael Bungay Stanier and Michael Leckie, who are the most resplendently well-humored colleagues one could hope for to whitewash this fence. Thanks also to: Shaun Prendergast, you are the stuff of legend; Den, your genius is a constant guide; Jennifer La Trobe, for your opinions and care and always being there (for whatever reason or none at all); Dan Trommater and Daniel Tomlinson, for your knowledge of the solid and the ephemeral; Toni Grates, for Namaste Bitches; Michael Turnbull, for your hair and approach to design; Rodd Olmstead, Jaime Almond, Adam Green and James DeStephanis, for your input and generous beta testing; and Ian Young, for being a winner.
I am grateful, as well, to my literary agent, Carolyn Forde, at Westwood Creative Artists, and to Adrianna Johnson, Christine Moore, and Lauren Freestone at Wiley, for their focused advice, unwaveringly positive attitude, and what has, at times, felt to me like fanatical support.
To Mum and Dad, Ann, Helen, and David “The Bad Dogg” Bowden, thanks for buying me all those Asterix the Gaul books so that René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo could help me to !@#$ing read and write.
To Thomas, Jack, Emily, Daniel, Peter, Robert, Steve, and Hannah, thanks for coming by every time I am home in England.
Finally, to my children Lex and Stella: Thank you both for asking what I am writing, and being interested in hearing about my book about dinosaurs, brains, and making friends. I love you both and hope you will both read this book one day.
Preface
I have been thinking, speaking about, and researching the primitive brain for many years now. Some people say that I am an expert in the field. Be that as it may, I’d like to give “a shout out” to my friend and coworker Bruce Van Ryn–Bocking as someone whose own expertise in this same area has really expanded my understanding as to why people often behave in the impulsive ways they do. A number of the most important ideas in this book were directly influenced by him.
I first met Bruce after giving one of my keynote speeches about body language; my purpose was to help a business audience understand how our primitive reptilian brain instantly judges others as to whether they are friendly and trustworthy, or not, based only on nonverbal communication. Bruce came up to me afterward and said, “Hi. That was great! I use the lizard-brain in my work, too.” There was a connection.
Ever since, he and I have enjoyed working together and talking about evolutionary psychology and neural architecture, impulsive behaviors at work, and how to manage them. I always enjoy hearing what he has to say, for after years of education, training, and experience in the field, he has developed some really great ways to explain it all. At the same time, he is highly complimentary about my experiences, and how I explain them—and, of course, that’s nice, too!
Although we come from different places, were born into different generations, and originally worked in different professions before arriving in this field, we work well together. Bruce and I are alike, in many ways, I believe: We are both intrigued by the way we humans behave—how our bodies and brains interact with the environment and, most especially, with the other people in it. We both love the natural world and its history, and learning how we all fit into it. Certainly, we both agree that there is a universal human nature; by this I mean that we all possess similar psychological mechanisms stemming from the evolution of our brain—neurological adaptations, constructed by natural selection over time, that have made us more fit as a species. These mechanisms have adapted to the niche inhabited by our Paleolithic ancestors from more than 2.5 million years ago, and as far back as our Cretaceous predecessors 500 million years ago. As such, the behavior these mechanisms produce is not necessarily suited to our modem circumstances. Sometimes, it is outright inappropriate! All of which brings us to Tame the Primitive Brain: 28 Ways in 28 Days to Manage the Most Impulsive Behaviors at Work.
In my business communication practice, clients often come to me for help with their communication skills; just as often, it turns out that what they really believe is causing them problems is another person’s behavior. They may, for example, be finding it excruciatingly difficult to manage the people around them. Sometimes, they tell me, they get quite upset or even aggressive with others they must deal with regularly. Then they may become anxious and/or depressed about their performance as leaders.
I cannot help them “fix the others” they are talking about—they are not there with us. However, I can help them help themselves, by teaching them to manage their own impulsive “primitive brain” reactions to the crazy behaviors and situations confronting them.
Bruce and I love to explore and spend time talking about the primitive brain; and I enjoy as much being able to share with others the deeper understanding I have gained through those discussions. Today, by using simple tools and models, training, delivering keynotes, consulting one-on-one, and, now, writing this book, I am able to help others deal with the people who are driving them crazy. But it all starts by helping them better handle their own sometimes insane impulsive behaviors, and giving them the communication skills they need to do it.
My goal for this book is to help you navigate your work relationships more successfully, so that you have a much better time at work, and never again have to go home so *#$$ed off with the people around you that you feel you are working with a bunch of !@#$ers!
I know my friend and colleague, Bruce, would like the same.
Introduction
Anyone who works with other people—which is pretty much everyone—has to deal with all kinds of challenges involving human nature. Chances are that, at work, one of your biggest problems is handling the most basic behaviors of people—such as impulsive decision making, tunnel vision, and resistance to change. And that’s just you!
My guess is you’re feeling the pressure. Who wouldn’t be?
You’ve already seen other people snap, and totally lose it. So now you’re looking for a way to best tame those primitive knee-jerk reactions, anxieties, and outbursts—and help others do the same.
Perhaps you’ve already read a ton of books on the latest trends in how to get the best out of everyone—including yourself. You’ve probably endured a mass of training. And possibly you’ve been tested under a multitude of psychometric models, from Myers Briggs to Strength Finder and, occasionally, have consulted the horoscope in Elle magazine.
Yet after all the new information and insights you’ve gained—and despite your best intentions—you still have no foolproof understanding of why people sometimes behave “like real jerks!”
Some people are continually frustrated by the crazy antics of those they work with. They wake up every morning to spend another day confused, wondering, “Why the hell did they do that?” Sooner or later it gets to be too much and they themselves tip over the edge, hit the roof, flip their lids, or lose it in some way. You can only keep a tight lid on this kind of frustration for so long, when, inside, you are steaming like a volcano ready to erupt.
You may recognize that it is much better to keep your cool and hold in check all those erratic, spur-of-the-moment behaviors that put your work relationships and career—as well as your own and your family’s happiness—at risk. But right now you realize that when things get tricky, you are not as prepared as you would like to be to help yourself and the others around you.
You are not alone.
There isn’t a person alive who doesn’t wonder how to tame our instinctive reactions to the maddening situations that arise every single day. This weighs on all our minds. Human behavior is the underlying hot topic wherever in the world you go. Most water-cooler chats eventually come down to: “Why the !@#$ did she say that?,” “What the !@#$ should I do about him?,” and “Who hired these !@#$ing !@#$ers anyway!?”
The behaviors of your coworkers can be erratic, irritating, aggressive, defensive, fearful, power-hungry, petty, depressed, disengaged, and sometimes just plain dumb and screwed up. And no amount of management training, mentorship, or zip-wire, death-slide team-building exercises so far have helped you to understand why people (including yourself) sometimes act, and act up, like this. Certainly, none of it helps you actually do something about it, today.
Can that change?
Fortunately, the answer is yes. It can.
But doing so will take knowing why we all behave as we do—what is the root cause. This knowledge is the key to managing the stickiest situations more effectively. So let’s look at the real issue here.
One hundred thousand years ago, our human ancestors were part of a scarce and scattered, migrant population of maybe only 2,000 mating couples. It was a lonelier, harsher, and more deadly world than you and I most likely live in today. We humans back then were more the hunted than the hunter.
Fast-forward to today, when there are 7 billion of us on the planet together, all part of a vast and complex global network. Yet one thing has remained the same all these millennia later: The basis of our behavior boils down to the inherited primitive survival instincts that kept our ancestors alive thousands of years ago.
Oh, and that’s not the end of the story. Our primitive instincts stretch back further still—as far as 500 million years ago—even before our reptilian ancestors to those earlier organisms that helped to found our DNA and the thinking processes upon which our modern behavior is built.
Our evolutionary chain begins way before the emergence of fish, moves up through reptiles, and on to ground-dwelling mammals and primates. It ends up with us modern humans sitting in offices, meeting with one another to talk about our organizational plans, bottom lines, and initiatives for market domination, or to address the all-important question of what we should all have for lunch—sushi or pizza?
Our human brain has developed in a modular way over hundreds of thousands of years, with each newly developed part adding, over time, to what was already there; and each alteration to our environmental niche driving a new addition to make us better fit for survival. Just as in an archaeological dig, the oldest of these brain parts is located underneath and to the back, with the next-oldest bit sandwiched between it and the most recent, situated at the top and to the front.
We call the most primitive part of the human brain the reptilian brain, because it adds up to about the sum total of what most lizards have in their skulls. It is made up of the brain stem, which sits right at the top of the spinal column, along with some other simple units involved only in instinctive responses and reflexes, some of which are almost half a billion years old. It is simple, yet it is essential to your basic survival. The reptilian brain handles stuff like heart rate and breathing; reacts to threats and rewards; and is in charge of basic sexual behaviors. When you get hungry, it’s your reptilian brain telling you that you need to eat something.
Next comes the part of the brain called the limbic system. It corresponds to the additional part of the brain that most mammals have, and is, in this respect, primitive by about 200 million years. It is made up of the structures of the limbic cortex and some other pieces that together are involved in regulating emotions and memory and telling us who and who not to connect with, care for, and empathize with. Deciding who to include in your company of friends and enjoying that companionship is your limbic system at work.
Finally, there’s the neocortex, which in its modern anatomical state is at maximum 200,000 years old. It’s the baby of the bunch, but comprises almost the whole of the cerebral hemispheres in a fully formed adult. Mammals all have a neocortex, to some degree; however, none is as sophisticated as the human one. It is conscious of itself, and able to plan for the future and use language. You are using your neocortex right now, while you are reading. (How very wise of you.)
Each of these three biological “computers” is, of course, interconnected. Yet they all retain their own peculiar economies—how they deal with things; their sense of time and space and memory; and ability to change.
For example, our brain as a whole uses a whopping 20 percent of our entire energy capacity. Our reptilian brain uses only a tiny fraction of this to do its primary job: preserve your life, which includes getting enough oxygen, keeping body temperature constant, and warning you when you are about to bump into something—or more importantly, when something is about to bump into you—that could be a threat.
Unlike the neocortex, our reptilian brain is not conscious of itself. It cannot make decisions about its “self” and then develop new ideas about what different courses of action it could take to carry out those decisions. It does not feel for the other people around it in any caring or disdainful way, like our limbic system does. It operates only as an unconscious, preprogrammed monitor-and-respond protection unit.
Our primitive reptilian brain simply receives information from the senses and sends it to be analyzed for identification. Then, based on the simple evaluation it receives back, it instantly executes a prescribed course of action. For instance, your reptilian brain might turn your head as an attractive girl or guy walks by. It might cause your mouth to water as you walk past a restaurant from which is wafting the scent of freshly baked bread. It might cause you to “jump out of your skin” at the movie theater when a dark, shadowy face with huge fangs flashes suddenly on the screen. And it could make you want to throw your chair through an office window in frustration when your computer freezes for the third time that day, with an hours-away deadline looming.
Thank goodness we have our more social and intellectual brains to help us think through this stuff first . . .
Or do we?
Well, hold on there a minute.
Just as in our reptilian ancestors, this most primitive piece of neural architecture is first in line to receive all data, and respond accordingly. It is our primary behavioral driver; in other words, it’s calling all the shots!
Still, we can of course be thankful that we have our more social and intellectual thinking brain to temper our instincts as they play out.
Whoa! Hold on again.
Something happens in the brain when we’re under any kind of stress—we’re too hot or cold, tired, hungry, confused, pressured, threatened, or undergoing an employee performance appraisal. The reptilian brain unfortunately regards the limbic system and neocortex—the parts that take care of cooperation, smart thinking, and openness to feedback—as too costly in terms of the energy and time they need for action. So they don’t get to participate. The reptilian brain claims total executive power.
Your gene pool’s journey through natural selection has given you a social and intellectual brain, but both were given a backseat to the reptilian brain, which sets off quick-fire, cheap-shot, antisocial, primitive, and instinctual drives and behavior whenever the going gets tough.
Of course, since you’re not under immediate threat the majority of the time, your limbic system (as well as those of other social mammals, like wolves, whales, and apes, to name just three) has the time and energy to connect calmly and reasonably with others in your family, social group, and workplace. You feel supported and you get along splendidly.
Moreover, most often, we also have the energy and resources to bring to the party the 100 billion cells that make up our neocortex. We communicate and organize with each other to gain even greater advantages. We plan and build for our futures, and for our immediate and, sometimes, global family.
But when we’re under pressure or threat, or functioning under diminished resources, our reptilian brain trumps all the others. It takes full control of the situation because it has the cheapest, most efficient, and most dynamic ways of ensuring the best conditions for our physical survival—even, if necessary, to the detriment of others around us.
Unfortunately, you can’t stop your reptilian brain from working; you’d die in the process. But you can counter and manage its effects—if you understand how it thinks and what gets it so excited. This understanding is the key to dealing with the most impulsive behaviors in your workplace—including your own.
Reading this book, viewing your work environment from the fresh perspective it offers, and then following the course of action outlined in it will allow you to quickly drill down into the principles of the primitive brain. You will gain insight into why people—including yourself—act the way they do. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to develop the tools and techniques you need to confidently manage those around you at every level, in even the stickiest of situations.
Here is how to use Tame the Primitive Brain: 28 Ways in 28 Days to Manage the Most Impulsive Behaviors at Work. You will see that it is organized into four seven-day stages:
First,
you are going to look at
you
now, and how you see the world today.
Second,
you are going to examine the
relationships
you have with others.
Third,
you will explore how everyone works together in bigger groups, teams, and the
tribe
.
Finally,
you will come around full circle to find how things have now shifted so that the
new you
can more fully understand how to better manage everyone around you—including yourself.
You can approach the information presented in several ways. You might, for example, read each of the 28 chapters one day at a time; or you might choose to dip into those that interest you most; you could even digest it all in one sitting. No matter which option you choose, you’ll find that each part:
Outlines a common primitive impulse to be managed.
Explains the simple evolutionary theory and neuroscience behind why people can do the most illogical stuff.
Helps you reflect on your own instinctive reactions to all of this.
Gives you the tools to manage even the most difficult situations and behaviors at work.
Ultimately, by following the course of this book, you will achieve a new level of self-awareness, which will serve to help you navigate successfully through the craziest behaviors at work, in a calm, assertive, and empathetic manner.
So what are you waiting for? Read on to begin learning how to tame the primitive brain.
Week I
You
A First Look at Everything
You can’t process me with a normal brain.
—Charlie Sheen
What is this first week all about? In a single word: you. But then again every minute of every day is, in effect, about you, because you are living it. You experience life in a very personal way; we all do.
For example: Although you didn’t write this book, and can’t take responsibility for the words on the pages, you are, as you read, interpreting those words in a very specific, individual way. You cannot help but bestow your own meaning upon them. Yes, I, the writer, am supplying a stimulus with a specific response in mind for you, the reader. But in the end, your reactions are your own.
That may sound like a bit of a disclaimer. And it is. I have taken responsibility at my end. Your end I leave to you to hold up.
This section, therefore, is not only all about you and how your primitive reptilian brain innately makes initial judgments of everything in your life; it is also about the selfsame way that everyone else’s reptilian brains first see and judge their environments—the places, people, and things that exist both outside and inside of them. By reflecting, understanding, and learning some tips about how your most primitive brain instinctively operates, you will have the knowledge you need to develop the skills for managing the impulsive behavior you observe in everyone else.
By the end of the chapters in this part, you’ll be able to recognize the brain’s most primitive actions, reactions, default judgments, innate prejudices, moods, and motivations that activate the behaviors of some of your colleagues, and can make them a complete nightmare to work with.
Let’s begin by understanding how you started it!
Day 1
Shared Instincts
No One Taught You to Breathe
There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis.
—Malcolm Gladwell
Today you’ll tame:
Your automatic response
There are some things to which you react immediately, without thinking. You have a knee-jerk response—a reflex. Like when, on your first day back at work after vacation, you gag upon taking your first sip of coffee made with milk that has been in the staff-room fridge for over two weeks. It’s an impulse to “throw-up” the unexpectedly sour-tasting—and, potentially threatening to your health—drink.
Then there are those things you feel deep-down, at a gut level, that have to be done, and done now. You are drawn to act—it’s an instinct. Like when, after spitting out the bad coffee, you spray a whole can of Lysol into the fridge to kill all the microbial aliens you are sure must be living in it—never mind that the site-manager’s birthday cake is sitting there, ready for a staff celebration. Your compulsion to “go to war” on the contents of the cooler just kicks in; you see red, grab your chemical weapon, and all listeria must die!
So, you’ve got reflexes and you’ve got instincts. These are the initial impulses that motivate us all to take action. But what’s the difference between the two?
Well, for a start, one fact is the same about them: Nobody taught you to activate either. Both are genetically programmed.
Impulse Buying
Take, for example, your blink reflex. (This is not what happens when you pick up a Malcolm Gladwell book and buy it just because it’s there.) Rather, it’s the involuntary movement of the eyelids caused by stimulation of the cornea. If your blink reflex is working right, then some dust, a bright light, a loud noise, movement close to the eye, or a plain old poke to it should cause both your eyes to blink simultaneously.
The evolutionary purpose of this reflex is, of course, to protect your eyes. Just the sudden appearance of something in your vision is enough to cause the cranial nerve that emerges from your reptilian brain to react, as if you are definitely going to endure damage to your eyes.
In fact, we could speculate that all reflexes are designed to ensure your survival in some way.
You experience reflexes as a result of the most basic of neural processing. For example, the withdrawal reflex, which occurs when you pull back quickly from something dangerous—only takes a couple of individual synapses (connections between nerve cells). Let’s say that you accidentally touch a hot object. The heat stimulates temperature receptors in the skin, and then a sensory impulse travels to the central nervous system, followed swiftly by motor impulses that flex your muscles and move your body away. This reaction is so impulsive that it doesn’t even get to the reptilian brain, but happens in the spinal cord. Certain actions are so vital to our survival—such as stopping ourselves from getting burned—that no part of the brain has a chance to think about anything. Your body just reacts—and fast.
Primary Schooling
Remember when you were born?
No, of course you don’t. You weren’t conscious of it. That’s why, if everything was working out well for you, it was a reflex that took your first breath. It was not a conscious choice you made, or even something that your mother had to teach you, because that would have been too risky. If breathing needed to be taught, then your mother would have had, at the outside, a maximum of five minutes to teach you—which is, of course, impossible. So, instead, you inherited a reflex that’s hardwired into your central nervous system to do the job of taking your first breath, and most others from that moment on.
Here’s how it all works: Before you were born, your lungs were filled with amniotic fluid; and, if you were born by being squeezed through your mother’s birth canal, the pressure on your chest forced that fluid out of your lungs. Once you emerged, that pressure was released from the chest, and the lungs expanded, taking in air.
Prior to birth, you got your oxygen through the blood delivered via your mother’s umbilical cord. That cord continued to provide you with oxygen after you were born, until the placenta detached from the uterine wall. Once this happened (or the cord was cut), then the lack of oxygen and heightened carbon dioxide levels caused the arterial blood to become acidic. This was sensed by the vessels sending blood to your brain, your heart, and your lungs. They in turn sent a message to your reptilian brain, which sent a message to your diaphragm to contract, and so expand your lungs to breathe in. Thus, here you are today, reading this.
Well done, reflexes!
Thank goodness you did not have to think or learn how to carry out that complex procedure, because you would have killed yourself trying, for sure.
So how does this relate to the way your reflexes function in the workplace?
Say someone comes up behind you and touches your shoulder without announcing his presence. Most of us will respond by being startled. Or let’s assume you prefer to keep the “notification” feature of your e-mail program turned on; and although you try and concentrate on the document you are writing, your attention keeps being diverted by the little “ping” that emanates from your computer speakers whenever a new e-mail arrives. You can no more ignore that alert than you can stop yourself from jumping when someone touches you unexpectedly from behind.
Suppressing Thoughts
The fact is, you cannot stop your reflexes. As long as your reptilian brain is fully functioning it will continue to stimulate you to breathe and to perform all of the other reflexes that it controls.
Under most conditions, your reptilian brain will always fight for breath on your behalf; cause you to blink when you get something in your eye; sneeze when you get something up your nose; or stretch your deep tendons so that you do not fall over when you walk.
It is extraordinary that the part of your brain that supports consciousness can be totally destroyed, and yet, as seen in some coma patients, its most primitive parts will still cause your eyes to scan the environment and lock onto and track any moving object. However, this eye movement, triggered by the reptilian brain, could no more be considered a sign of consciousness than could a sunflower turning its “face” toward the sun.
That is the nature of reflexes; they are automatic, and initiated unconsciously. So what about instincts?
Ingrained Habits
The simplest example of an instinctive behavior is what is known as a fixed action pattern, a short sequence of actions that you perform each and every time in response to a very specific stimulus.
Your instincts set in motion more complex sets of behaviors than your reflexes do. But like your reflexes, you perform these behaviors without any prior experience. So, once again, instincts aren’t lessons that someone teaches you, that you learn over time. They are preprogrammed in the same way that newly hatched sea turtles are preprogrammed to automatically move from the beach, where they were laid as eggs, toward the ocean.
It is only because some instinctive behaviors depend on our getting older that they appear to be actions we’ve learned. For instance, we commonly refer to children as “learning to crawl.” In fact, it is that they have come to an age in which the built-in instinct to crawl kicks in.
A number of our most important instinctive behaviors embedded in our reptilian brains include fighting, fleeing, courting, and preparing to give birth. We’ll look at some of these later this week, especially the most “famous” instinct of all: fight or flight. But first we will look at how we think when we have an instinctive reaction. For that we turn to the topic of . . .
The Unconscious Process
Out of the continuous flow of sensory input to which your instinctive behaviors respond, the reptilian brain “forwards” or distinguishes what might be important for your Limbic social brain and sometimes your intelligent critical thinking Neocortex and tells it, “Pay attention to THIS!”
Of course, a huge amount of processing is going on before it makes you aware of any of that. And you cannot tell anyone about that processing, because you are not aware of it yourself: it is preconscious thought. Nor can others tell you about their preconscious thoughts, either.
That is why, even when we become alert to something that has happened and to which we’ve reacted instinctively, we are often confused—what on earth is going on, and why the hell are we reacting to it this way?
In such circumstances, both we and those around us are often completely unconscious of, hence unable to explain, our impulsive reactions, and why we have behaved as we have. The brain’s electrical activity that precedes an action—called the readiness potential—occurs several hundred milliseconds before we are even able to start reporting the desire to act.
Out of Control
It is tough to control your reflexes. Give it a try, if you relish a challenge. Run a cold shower and walk straight into it without changing the way you are breathing, the speed at which your heart is beating, or the level of tension or relaxation within your muscles. Get the point? If you need further proof, then smack yourself hard across the face with this book (or e-reader). Now do you get the point?
Unlike reflexes, however, instincts can be culturally or consciously suppressed—to some degree. For instance, if you are driving your car and you suddenly see another vehicle careering toward you, you will find it nearly impossible to suppress your instinct to swerve and avoid a collision. Now take the same potential collision and move it to the world of the demolition derby race-track. The experienced demolition derby driver with a desire to win can overcome his instinct to avoid an impact, and instead, ram the other vehicle head on. Yet even he will be unable to keep his eyes open for the fraction of a second of impact.
You can’t so easily control your reflexes; but you can control—to an extent—your primitive instincts. Take, for example, the murderous rage you instinctually feel toward an employer who has recommended that the department you work for abandon the project your team has been working on for 12 months; and, furthermore, that your team be disbanded and its members relocated to other departments. Like most of us, you will stifle your initial impulse to leap at the boss and wring his neck with both hands. However, under extreme stress, and within a very hostile environment, the urge toward physical violence may be more difficult to subdue. While you don’t (hopefully) kill your employer at this point, you might still have those thoughts, which may very well cause you to act in an abrupt, rude, and dismissive manner, or even seek later “payback” in some underhanded way.
Day One Action
You’ll learn more about the full extent of your and others impulsive responses to all these situations later in the book.
