The Autobiography of St. Ignatius
The Autobiography of St. IgnatiusEditor's PrefacePreface of the WriterCHAPTER ICHAPTER IICHAPTER IIICHAPTER IVCHAPTER VCHAPTER VICHAPTER VIICHAPTER VIIIAPPENDIXTHE EDUCATIONAL PLAN OF ST. IGNATIUSCopyright
The Autobiography of St. Ignatius
Saint Ignatius of Loyola
Editor's Preface
This account of the life of St. Ignatius, dictated by
himself, is considered by the Bollandists the most valuable record
of the great Founder of the Society of Jesus. The editors of
theStimmen Aus Maria Laach,
the German review, as well as those of the English magazine,The Month, tell us that it, more than
any other work, gives an insight into the spiritual life of St.
Ignatius. Few works in ascetical literature, except the writings of
St. Teresa and St. Augustine, impart such a knowledge of the
soul.To understand fully the Spiritual Exercises, we should know
something of the man who wrote them. In this life of St. Ignatius,
told in his own words, we acquire an intimate knowledge of the
author of the Exercises. We discern the Saint's natural
disposition, which was the foundation of his spiritual character.
We learn of his conversion, his trials, the obstacles in his way,
the heroism with which he accomplished his great
mission.This autobiography of St. Ignatius is the groundwork of all
the great lives of him that have been written.Bartoli draws from it, Genelli develops it, the recent
magnificent works of Father Clair, S.J., and of Stewart Rose are
amplifications of this simple story of the life of St.
Ignatius.The Saint in his narrative always refers to himself in the
third person, and this mode of speech has here been retained. Many
persons who have neither the time, nor, perhaps, the inclination,
to read larger works, will read, we trust, with pleasure and profit
this autobiography.Ignatius, as he lay wounded in his brother's house, read the
lives of the saints to while away the time. Touched by grace, he
cried, "What St. Francis and St. Dominic have done, that, by God's
grace, I will do." May this little book, in like manner, inspire
its readers with the desire of imitating St. Ignatius.
Preface of the Writer
Jesus, Mary. In the year 1553, one Friday morning, August 4,
the eve of the feast of Our Lady of the Snows, while St. Ignatius
was in the garden, I began to give him an account of my soul, and,
among other things, I spoke to him of how I was tempted by vain
glory. The spiritual advice he gave me was this: "Refer everything
that you do to God; strive to offer Him all the good you find in
yourself, acknowledging that this comes from God, and thank Him for
it." The advice given to me on this occasion was so consoling to me
that I could not refrain from tears. St. Ignatius then related to
me that for two years he had struggled against vain glory; so much
so, indeed, that when he was about to embark for Jerusalem at
Barcelona he did not dare to tell any one where he was going. He
told me, moreover, that since that time his soul had experienced
great peace in regard to this matter.An hour or two later we went to dinner, and, while Master
Polancus and I were dining with him, St. Ignatius said that Master
Natalis and others of the Society had often asked him to give a
narrative of his life, but he had never as yet decided to do so. On
this occasion, however, after I had spoken to him, he reflected
upon it alone. He was favorably inclined toward it. From the way he
spoke, it was evident God had enlightened him. He had resolved to
manifest the main points of his interior life up to the present,
and had concluded that I was the one to whom he would make these
things known.At that time St. Ignatius was in very feeble health. He did
not promise himself one day of life, but, on the contrary, if any
one were to say, "I shall do that within two weeks or a week," St.
Ignatius was accustomed to say: "How is that? Do you think you are
going to live that long?" However, on this occasion, he said he
hoped to live three or four months to finish the narrative. The
next day when I asked him when he wished to begin, he answered that
I should remind him every day until he had an opportunity for it.
As he could not find time, partly on account of his many
occupations, he told me to remind him of it every Sunday. In the
following September he called me, and began to relate his whole
life clearly and distinctly with all the accompanying
circumstances. Afterward, in the same month, he called me three or
four times, and told me the history of his life up to the time of
his dwelling at Manresa. The method followed by St. Ignatius is so
clear that he places vividly before our eyes the events of the
past.It was not necessary to ask him anything, as nothing
important was omitted. I began to write down certain points
immediately, and I afterward filled out the details. I endeavored
to write nothing that I did not hear from him. So closely did I
adhere to his very words that afterward I was unable to explain the
meaning of some of them. This narrative I wrote, as I have
indicated above, up to September, 1553. From that time until the
18th of October, 1554, when Father Natalis came, St. Ignatius did
not continue the narrative, but pleaded excuse on account of
infirmities or other business, saying to me, "When such and such a
business is settled, remind me of it." When that work was done, I
recalled it to his memory. He replied, "Now I have that other
affair on hand; when it is finished remind me."Father Natalis was overjoyed that a beginning had been made,
and told me to urge St. Ignatius to complete it, often saying to
me, "In no other way can you do more good to the Society, for this
is fundamentally the Society." He himself spoke to St. Ignatius
about it, and I was told to remind him of it when the work in
regard to the founding of the college was finished. And when it was
over, and the business with Prester John settled and the courier
had departed, we continued the history on the 9th of March, 1555.
About this time Pope Julius became ill, and died on the 23d of the
same month. The narrative was then postponed until the election of
the new Pope, who died soon after his election. Our work remained
untouched until Pope Paul mounted the papal throne. On account of
the great heat and many occupations, the biography did not make
much progress until the 21st of September, when there was question
of sending me to Spain. And so he appointed the morning of the 22d
for a meeting in the red tower. After saying Mass I went to him to
ask him if it were the time. He told me to go and wait for him in
the red tower. Supposing that I should have to wait a long while, I
delayed on the porch, talking with a brother who asked me about
something. When St. Ignatius came he reprimanded me because,
contrary to obedience, I had not waited for him in the appointed
place, and he would not do anything that day. Then we urged him
very earnestly to continue. So he came to the red tower, and,
according to his custom, dictated while walking.While taking these notes I tried to see his face, and kept
drawing near to him. He said to me, "Keep your rule." And as I
approached again, and looked at him a second and a third time, he
repeated what he had said and then went away. Finally, after some
time, he returned to the red tower to complete the dictation. As I
was about starting on my journey, and St. Ignatius spoke to me the
day before my departure, I could not write out the narrative in
full at Rome. At Genoa where I went I had no Spanish secretary, so
I dictated in Latin the points I had brought with me, and finished
the writing at Genoa in December, 1555.
CHAPTER I
HIS MILITARY LIFE—HE IS WOUNDED AT THE SIEGE OF PAMPELUNA—HIS
CURE—SPIRITUAL READING—THE APPARITION—THE GIFT OF CHASTITY—HIS
LONGING FOR THE JOURNEY TO JERUSALEM AND FOR A HOLIER
LIFEUp to his twenty-sixth year the heart of Ignatius was
enthralled by the vanities of the world. His special delight was in
the military life, and he seemed led by a strong and empty desire
of gaining for himself a great name. The citadel of Pampeluna was
held in siege by the French. All the other soldiers were unanimous
in wishing to surrender on condition of freedom to leave, since it
was impossible to hold out any longer; but Ignatius so persuaded
the commander, that, against the views of all the other nobles, he
decided to hold the citadel against the enemy.When the day of assault came, Ignatius made his confession to
one of the nobles, his companion in arms. The soldier also made his
to Ignatius. After the walls were destroyed, Ignatius stood
fighting bravely until a cannon ball of the enemy broke one of his
legs and seriously injured the other.When he fell, the citadel was surrendered. When the French
took possession of the town, they showed great admiration for
Ignatius. After twelve or fifteen days at Pampeluna, where he
received the best care from the physicians of the French army, he
was borne on a litter to Loyola. His recovery was very slow, and
doctors and surgeons were summoned from all parts for a
consultation. They decided that the leg should be broken again,
that the bones, which had knit badly, might be properly reset; for
they had not been properly set in the beginning, or else had been
so jostled on the journey that a cure was impossible. He submitted
to have his flesh cut again. During the operation, as in all he
suffered before and after, he uttered no word and gave no sign of
suffering save that of tightly clenching his fists.In the meantime his strength was failing. He could take no
food, and showed other symptoms of approaching death. On the feast
of St. John the doctors gave up hope of his recovery, and he was
advised to make his confession. Having received the sacraments on
the eve of the feasts of Sts. Peter and Paul, toward evening the
doctors said that if by the middle of the night there were no
change for the better, he would surely die. He had great devotion
to St. Peter, and it so happened by the goodness of God that in the
middle of the night he began to grow better.His recovery was so rapid that in a few days he was out of
danger. As the bones of his leg settled and pressed upon each
other, one bone protruded below the knee. The result was that one
leg was shorter than the other, and the bone causing a lump there,
made the leg seem quite deformed. As he could not bear this, since
he intended to live a life at court, he asked the doctors whether
the bone could be cut away. They replied that it could, but it
would cause him more suffering than all that had preceded, as
everything was healed, and they would need space in order to cut
it. He determined, however, to undergo this torture.His elder brother looked on with astonishment and admiration.
He said he could never have had the fortitude to suffer the pain
which the sick man bore with his usual patience. When the flesh and
the bone that protruded were cut away, means were taken to prevent
the leg from becoming shorter than the other. For this purpose, in
spite of sharp and constant pain, the leg was kept stretched for
many days. Finally the Lord gave him health. He came out of the
danger safe and strong with the exception that he could not easily
stand on his leg, but was forced to lie in bed.As Ignatius had a love for fiction, when he found himself out
of danger he asked for some romances to pass away the time. In that
house there was no book of the kind. They gave him, instead, "The
Life of Christ," by Rudolph, the Carthusian, and another book
called the "Flowers of the Saints," both in Spanish. By frequent
reading of these books he began to get some love for spiritual
things. This reading led his mind to meditate on holy things, yet
sometimes it wandered to thoughts which he had been accustomed to
dwell upon before.